Child Support.. Pursue or Not Pursue?

[Fudgie]

Cheet is right. Don't bother with the lawyer for now. Go to child support services. Getting a lawyer does not "keep you safe" in this instance. It's an unnecessary, expensive expense. This is not a divorce settlement. You have nothing to lose by filing for child support here, it's not like you're going to a judge and he's deciding what assets you'll lose to your ex spouse.

 

Child support services not only handle matters in terms of getting you child support, but they also handle establishing a paternity test, which you will need beforehand. Go and talk to them.

 

The reason why these services exist is because the government understands that men who don't pay for their kids = more women on govt support, and the govt wants to avoid that. So they have services in each state for the sole purpose of establishing paternity and getting these guys on the hook for paying for the children they fathered.

[qwaspolk82]

They never got me a dime and it got to the point where I found out that there is a network out there that helps these creeps avoid getting caught. I just found out he now owns a nice house in Detroit. I reported it. They said my son was an adult now and that the statute of limitations had passed. He got off without ever paying a dime. Most of them do that run unless you want to spend Big Bucks. I decided I would rather spend that money on my son. It was a good decision. I didn't have to deal with or think about him ever again.

 

Bull - he still owes his arrears. IF there was a child support order in place. I'm pretty sure that's the case in every state that they owe anything that wasn't paid before the age of majority. I would have talked to a lawyer at least because someone was being lazy.

[qwaspolk82]

Cheet is right. Don't bother with the lawyer for now. Go to child support services. Getting a lawyer does not "keep you safe" in this instance. It's an unnecessary, expensive expense. This is not a divorce settlement. You have nothing to lose by filing for child support here, it's not like you're going to a judge and he's deciding what assets you'll lose to your ex spouse.

 

Child support services not only handle matters in terms of getting you child support, but they also handle establishing a paternity test, which you will need beforehand. Go and talk to them.

 

The reason why these services exist is because the government understands that men who don't pay for their kids = more women on govt support, and the govt wants to avoid that. So they have services in each state for the sole purpose of establishing paternity and getting these guys on the hook for paying for the children they fathered.

 

She can at least get a consultation because the majority of lawyers give free consultations. There's no need to be sarcastic about my comment.

 

It's not just men who owe child support or skip out on it either fyi. Also the child support enforcement agencies are a huge racket. They don't care about the people or children involved. They take a percentage of support especially if that person is on assistance.

[Fudgie]

She can at least get a consultation because the majority of lawyers give free consultations. There's no need to be sarcastic about my comment.

 

It's not just men who owe child support or skip out on it either fyi. Also the child support enforcement agencies are a huge racket. They don't care about the people or children involved. They take a percentage of support especially if that person is on assistance.

 

I wasn't being sarcastic. Telling someone that they need to hire a lawyer to get CS is not good advice for women who are seeking CS and are not divorced. It's an unnecessary expense, if someone really wants to get a lawyer and can afford it, fine, but it's not needed. Getting a lawyer made sense for you because you were getting divorced and you need one in that case but OP was not married to the father of the baby.

 

I don't know where you're from but the assistance agencies where I am from have government workers, paid by the government and they work with the government to hold these fathers accountable. They don't take a percentage of the support.

[Knot2loud]

A lawyer isn't going to do diddly-squat. Open a case with Child-Support. Deadbeat dads can evade the system for years, but eventually it catches up with them. He'll be on the run for about 21 years.

[Cheetarah]

CSS does not take any of the support I receive. The only event that they would, if I were receiving TANF(cash assistance). In that case, I would receive a 'pass through' payment. I think it's the first 50 dollars per month. The rest goes towards repaying the state for the cash assistance. If there's any more left after that, I would receive the rest.

 

The only thing they would potentially get, would be a percentage of the interest accrued for unpaid support. For example, my ex-husband has 1000 in interest(that does not include actual unpaid support, merely accrued interest). If the state ever got to collect on that, I would get a percentage(rather small, if I remember correctly) and they would get the rest.

 

By the way, I filed for this first, and the divorce later. The cases were consolidated. I did retain an attorney for the divorce because I wasn't sure what my ex was going to do.

[qwaspolk82]

I wasn't being sarcastic. Telling someone that they need to hire a lawyer to get CS is not good advice for women who are seeking CS and are not divorced. It's an unnecessary expense, if someone really wants to get a lawyer and can afford it, fine, but it's not needed. Getting a lawyer made sense for you because you were getting divorced and you need one in that case but OP was not married to the father of the baby.

 

I don't know where you're from but the assistance agencies where I am from have government workers, paid by the government and they work with the government to hold these fathers accountable. They don't take a percentage of the support.

 

Agree to disagree.

[Fudgie]

Fair enough. I just feel bad for those moms who can't afford a lawyer who then conclude that the best choice is to do nothing and hope that the man comes around.

[avman]

Also the child support enforcement agencies are a huge racket. They don't care about the people or children involved. They take a percentage of support especially if that person is on assistance.

 

That's a very broad and substantially inaccurate statement. The vast majority of social workers I've met have deeply cared about the clients they work with. They are just as frustrated at the red tape, endless procedures, lack of funding, and overall bureaucracy of "the system".

 

The statement about them taking a percentage of the support isn't wholly accurate either. What they do is if the parent who is supposed to receive child support has to go on welfare or other benefit because they aren't getting their child support - they will take some part of the child support when they finally do receive it to pay back the government for the benefits they paid out. The concept being - they wouldn't have had to pay it out in the first place had the child support been paid properly. If the person receiving child support didn't also apply for other welfare benefits then they wouldn't have any portion of their child support withheld like that.

[j.man]

As said, a lawyer is not necessary for simply going through CSS. If OP needs a hand to hold, she can go to any one of her family members or friends. There's plenty of no-cost help that will point her where she needs to go to get a paternity suit filed and should he fail to submit to it, he'll almost certainly be defaulted as the father. He doesn't need to be present in the state to be assigned paternity, ordered to pay child support, or have his wages garnished.

 

The two areas women (and I suppose some men) get caught up on is thinking it's 1) too expensive and 2) that it's a lost cause if they can't get a hold of the deadbeat parent.

 

Should for some reason he come back with his newly "awarded" paternal status and custody becomes an issue, that's when OP will want to consider legal counsel.

[qwaspolk82]

The federal government started child support in 1950 with the Aid to Families with Dependent Children law. This required state welfare agencies to notify law enforcement when benefits were furnished to a child who had been abandoned by one parent. Then local officials would work to locate the nonresident parent and force them to pay support. From 1950-1975 the government confined child support efforts to only welfare children. Most Americans felt that it was a state level decision because it was domestic relations.

In the early 1970s Congress realized the AFDC caseload had changed a lot. Earlier years the children needed financial assistance because their fathers had died; by the 70s more parents were divorcing or never married. This is why in 1975 the Child Support Enforcement and Paternity Establishment Program (CSE) was created to reduce public use of welfare by getting money from the noncustodial parents on an ongoing basis, help non-AFDC families get support to stay off public assistance and establish paternity for children born out of wedlock in order to get support for the child. This legislation also added a statute that authorized federal matching funds to be used for enforcing support obligations by locating nonresident parents, establish paternity, establish child support awards and collect support payments. Since 1981, child support agencies have been permitted to collect spousal support on behalf of custodial parents and in 1984 required to petition for medical support as part of most orders. Basic responsibility for these programs is left to the states but the federal government plays a role in dictating the design of state programs, funding, monitoring, etc.

 

State welfare agencies used to give financial assistance to low income recipients but since the federal government was subsidizing they decided to go after noncustodial parents and thus the stigma of “deadbeat dads” and that there are just these men getting women pregnant and abandoning them. Does it happen? Yes but not as much as people think.

 

Some of the money from child support in each state stays within the state child support agencies. This is what states do – the states who meet child support collection quotas set by the federal government will get more funding for the state’s general funds. The states are allowed to use that money as they wish. So the more money that child support agencies collect, the more funding they get from the federal government. Tell me how that’s not a racket? This is how the good parents – mom or dad – get screwed over in child support. The states compete against each other to get more funding from the feds.

 

So yes the states have turned child support into a way to get more money for their states to use in their general fund.

 

 

The bottomline is this OP - you do what you want. At least consult a lawyer. But most likely even if you get an order for child support you are most likely not going to get it. I almost waived it but I thought well someday he has to pay it. I've gotten $275 so far. He owes me almost $900 right now and he's $11000 in arrears for all four kids. He's probably going to die before he ever pays it the way he's going.