depression coming back, refuse to go to doctor.

[jmann45]

Ive had depression for as long as i can remember. the furthest back i remember is when i was in my early teen years about 13 and used to come home and put my head into my pillow and cry myself to sleep almost every night. It came and went (depression). early highschool i started cutting because this girl i liked didnt feel the same way. i cut for about a year. i got much better after that. i then changed my personality and lifestyle to get away from this depression forever when i was about 18. it worked for a couple years, but then another girl left me, and i was back in it. and its been on and off after breakups. and yesterday, i got into a huge car accident, my whole family showed up. i thought i was going to die. i was stuck in the car and the engine caught on fire. then some people quickly helped me out and put the fire out. and today, im under depression again. i feel like it could have been better if they had let me go. i feel like that was my chance to get away from everything. i feel like if that guy hadnt came out and helped me, i would have been so much happier. i dont know why im feeling this way. i was doing so great these past few weeks. and today, the scariest thing happened, i thought about cutting again. but then i distracted myself. now i cant sleep. im just done with this depression. im trying to cope with it, it started when i was 13 as far as i know, im 22 now. almost 23. i dont want to do life. i dont know what to do. i dont want to get help and be put on medication.

[Capricorn3]

i dont know what to do. i dont want to get help and be put on medication.

If you don't want help, refuse to see a doctor, don't want medication etc, then I am not sure what exactly you are looking for? Posting on the internet to strangers will not help you in any way at all either, and, going by your post, you most certainly DO need intensive professional counseling/therapy. You either live this way for the rest of your life, or you get the help you need. Choice is yours.

[coolgirl]

I struggle with depression and been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 and I tell ya it's not easy. As far as the break ups I know it's not easy, but don't you think taking time off from dating for a while and just concentrate on yourself and your health ? I know it's easier said then done. There comes points in my life where that I'm thinking the same way your thinking. There is nothing wrong with taking medication and seeking help. I understand and get it really do because I"ve been through it once to many times. I had a nervous break-down 3 weeks ago and couldn't take it anymore you know what I did, I took myself to the emergency and got the best care I needed and has really helped me out. If you keep going the way your going now honestly it's not going to help you or your condition. So don't be in denial and ask for help.

 

I don't know where you live, I'm sure there are places where they have outpatients or inpatients facility and it's actually helpfull search for it and see who takes your insurance and they will help you. Because that's what I did. You need to have a proper diagnoses and see what medication works for you so don't try to fight it off because if you do it's going to become a cycle for you. Trust me I've been where you have. So please go get help before it's not to late. Focus on you, try to get yourself better, start taking medication, go the therapy there is nothing wrong with that. Then where your better enough then think about dating. But now is not the time. PM on here if you need to talk more. So I do urge you to seek treatment and help. There is nothing wrong with that. Why, are you refusing ? What do you think is going to happen ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ive had depression for as long as i can remember. the furthest back i remember is when i was in my early teen years about 13 and used to come home and put my head into my pillow and cry myself to sleep almost every night. It came and went (depression). early highschool i started cutting because this girl i liked didnt feel the same way. i cut for about a year. i got much better after that. i then changed my personality and lifestyle to get away from this depression forever when i was about 18. it worked for a couple years, but then another girl left me, and i was back in it. and its been on and off after breakups. and yesterday, i got into a huge car accident, my whole family showed up. i thought i was going to die. i was stuck in the car and the engine caught on fire. then some people quickly helped me out and put the fire out. and today, im under depression again. i feel like it could have been better if they had let me go. i feel like that was my chance to get away from everything. i feel like if that guy hadnt came out and helped me, i would have been so much happier. i dont know why im feeling this way. i was doing so great these past few weeks. and today, the scariest thing happened, i thought about cutting again. but then i distracted myself. now i cant sleep. im just done with this depression. im trying to cope with it, it started when i was 13 as far as i know, im 22 now. almost 23. i dont want to do life. i dont know what to do. i dont want to get help and be put on medication.

[IAmFCA]

It's okay to need medication. It's your brain chemistry that's out of whack, so you have to overcome that self destructive instinct and get back on your scrips. It's just how you're made, and that's okay.

 

When you walk around your local grocery store, the people you see there - many of them are on meds too. You are not alone in this fight to use doctors to regulate your body, many of us do this, just like you. It's what we need and chose to do so that we can live and enjoy our lives.

 

Be like the rest of us. Get your meds.

[kfred92]

Depression never really goes away. It can be minimized, but not ended. From your self harm you were coping with it, but it was still very much alive inside of you

[jmann45]

I agree. And as long as I'm on the meds ( if I get them) I will feel better. As soon as I'm off, ill be back to depression. I believe that there is a way to get rid of depression without meds. That's why I keep going everyday. I always try new ways to make myself feel better. Some work, others don't. Some work for a day, others work for months. Ill eventually find a way to keep myself content forever. Hopefully.