What was this guys motives?

[Lotusavx]

I met this guy on a dating site. We texted for a few days and immediately met up. Throughout the few days we texted A LOT. And although his profile said he wasn't looking for anything serious or a commitment, he talked to me as if he did..he would say things like "I think we're going to like each other, I have a feeling you're going to fall for me, and if we ever dated"...those kinds of things, kind of giving hope. When we hung out, I asked him in person what he wanted, because you obviously can't tell if someone is genuine over text, and when I asked him he kind of just brushed it off, didn't go into much detail as he did in text. He was also very different in text, more confident. I just don't know what to think as we are still talking and seeing each other. I just don't know why he would give all this hope to a relationship over text, but have unclear motives in person and a profile that says "nothing serious" Please no rude comments!! I have gotten so many people telling me I'm crazy on here, I'm just looking for advice! thanks!

[mustlovedogs]

He didn't give you mixed signals. He said "if we ever dated" implying it isn't on his mind right now. He might just be enjoying the attention. Take what he says at exactly face value.

[Wiseman2]

His profile says (in writing) nothing serious, so the rest of it is just flirting and liking you.

his profile said he wasn't looking for anything serious. "I think we're going to like each other, I have a feeling you're going to fall for me, and if we ever dated"..

[lostlove76]

I think these guys who put in their profile that they're not looking for a commitment or anything serious are mostly just players out for a good time, or people who want companionship but don't want any of the responsibilities of a relationship. I would definitely steer clear.

 

Maybe he found it easier to play you over text with relationship talk, but harder to look you in the eye and basically lie in person? Just a guess.

[Wiseman2]

are you better at it?

You women suck at choosing guys.

[lostlove76]

A lot of us really do suck at choosing guys. A lot of guys suck at choosing women, too. It's kind of true that it's usually the good guys and girls who get crapped on in favor of assh**es and crazy bi**hes.

[llyybbss]

Hi,

I've also done online dating, and have seen this type of men. If a guy says on the profile that he's not looking for anything serious, I think he means it. However, if he does meet the girl of his dreams, he might change his mind or his heart during the process, and this is true with every one of us.

About his in person behavior, he was trying to do one of the few things below.

1. He was testing you to see how you would react to his comments. The more excited you get, the more confidant he would feel to get you.

2. It's literally impossible to like someone so much during the initial stage of dating, so I wouldn't trust what he was saying to you.

I personally do not talk to any guy who lists "not looking for anything serious" on their profile, it just means red flags for me.

Hope it helps!

[ThatwasThen]

although his profile said he wasn't looking for anything serious or a commitment, he talked to me as if he did..he would say things like "I think we're going to like each other, I have a feeling you're going to fall for me, and if we ever dated"...those kinds of things, kind of giving hope.

Since when do any of those statements mean that he actually wanted more then just sex? They are just words without actions to back them up as truth... Guesses as to what may happen if you become even just FWB's.

 

When we hung out, I asked him in person what he wanted, because you obviously can't tell if someone is genuine over text, and when I asked him he kind of just brushed it off, didn't go into much detail as he did in text.

That's because its easier to tell if he's lying the more detail he goes into.

 

He was also very different in text, more confident. I just don't know what to think as we are still talking and seeing each other.

Have you been sexually intimate? If you have then his profile has worked for him.

 

I just don't know why he would give all this hope to a relationship over text,

According to what you've said in your opening post... there was nothing that he said that should have been considered as "hope" that his profile wasn't the truth. When someone tells you upfront that they are not looking for anything serious or they don't know if they can give you anything more then nothing serious then you should believe them and if you want more then casual, you shouldn't have anything to do with them other then one email thanking them for their time and letting them know that you are looking for different things. Do you KNOW what your end dating goal is? Is it a relationship? If it is, why would you even think twice about someone that states they want nothing serious? What was your thinking process on that?

 

but have unclear motives in person and a profile that says "nothing serious"

What actions has he shown you in person that contradict his preference of "nothing serious?"

 

Please no rude comments!! I have gotten so many people telling me I'm crazy on here, I'm just looking for advice! thanks!

Say whaaat?