Robinthehood1 Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Hello All, I am currently going through the beginning stages of a separation - one that I am not initiating - and I found myself immersed in several books regarding how to manage through this period. I love my wife and want a divorce from our old marriage. I want a new marriage with her and I have decided that I am going to save it; even if she doesn't know it yet! Below are some books I have found helpful. These are not about gimmicks or manipulation, rather, looking inward and controlling what you can. I am not just hopeful now but confident that we will be together in a new and loving relationship. In no particular order......... 1. The Manly Separation Survival Guide 2. Growing in Love Series (Laim Nadem) 3. Should I Stay or Should I Go - Controlled Separation 4. Connect Through Yes! 5. How one of you can bring two of you together Link to comment
luca3434 Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Are you both prepared to invest equally in the new marriage. Because if you are not, there will be a great deal of pain ahead for you. Link to comment
Robinthehood1 Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Thanks for the positive words. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I was about to ask you whether your wife wants this second marriage with you, then saw on one of your earlier posts that she is having an emotional affair with another man. You think that nothing has happened yet, but the fact she wants to divorce you does imply otherwise. I can't imagine how you feel right now as a family man, I went through a horrible break up last year and it was awful. I think it's really important that you don't get dilusional about your situation and start injecting some reality back in to your life to ground yourself. Men don't have the same social networks as women, and I think compared to her friends that you most likely know very little of what's going on in her life right now. More importantly, you need to start thinking about your own well being, men suffer really badly in these situations. Start leaning on your friends for honest advice as to how to cope with things, and make an appointment to see your doctor. Be honest with yourself. Link to comment
Robinthehood1 Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Dave - all of these books focus on the well being of the individual struggling with the separation. No delusion here regarding a fairy tale ending. These books are guides to focus on your self and drives the changes you want to make. Not the ones she wants. Everyone's situation is different and I appreciate your perspective. I am preparing for the worst but that doesn't mean I can become more confident and competent in the process. She will have to choose, not me. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Does she want to try marriage counseling? I think she is struggling with the idea of divorce, split time with kids, etc. However, today, she doesn't believe we can be happy together. It seems so distant right now but I cannot give up. She will have to choose to stay together or not. Link to comment
Robinthehood1 Posted July 26, 2016 Author Share Posted July 26, 2016 No and right now I don't either. Right now, it's not about fixing our problems. It's about healing, respect, space and time away from the heaviness. I know how that sounds but for us, it's what is best. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.