Dougie_D Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 It's been awhile since this happened to me, but I'd like to know how others would deal with this: You ask a parent (same sex, same sexual preference) for advice on women/men and they tell you "have you sen yourself in the mirror lately?" Link to comment
musicman777 Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I think everyone's answer to this will be different. Some people are more sensitive to such comments while others might not care so much. Personally, I would rather hear the truth from someone (including parents) if they found something unappealing about me than cover up the truth. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 It's been awhile since this happened to me, but I'd like to know how others would deal with this: You ask a parent (same sex, same sexual preference) for advice on women/men and they tell you "have you sen yourself in the mirror lately?" I'd be like, "Well, I AM your spawn...did you think that one through?" At least that's what I'd want to say. In the moment I would probably say something really awkward or just leave. Link to comment
Matti Jr Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I'd take that as lose some weight or change my look up a bit. Was that a sarcastic response? Anyway, if you're confident and have a high self-esteem, it shouldn't matter. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 how did the convo go and what were they referring to exactly ive seen your instagram... Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 how did the convo go and what were they referring to exactly ive seen your instagram... It was a conversation years ago. I actually took the courage to ask my dad for advice on women and that's exactly what he said to me. Nothing more. My brother in law stepped in to give me advice and my dad just left the room. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 I'd take that as lose some weight or change my look up a bit. Was that a sarcastic response? Anyway, if you're confident and have a high self-esteem, it shouldn't matter. I doesn't bother me that much to make me feel bad.. It bothers me that a parent would say something like that to their own kid. It's like I want to forgive him for saying that, but I'm not sure if I should. It really proves to me how he thinks of me.. And that's why I get sad sometimes. It was Father's Day last week, and sometimes I wish my dad would be proud of me for something Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 My mother used to tell me if I didn't do x y z and change blahblah, then I would be alone and no guy would want to date me. I did not take her advice. I'm fine. Parents, like everyone else, are capable of having flaws and being mean to people. They can mess you up early on by doing and saying things like this. Part of growing up is learning to move past it and knowing how to deal with it when it comes up. I go to therapy and do a lot better. My father violates proper boundaries and my mom, while rare now, can still say things that hurt. The difference is now is that I'm older and I'm learning not to take it to heart. I realized they are flawed now. I love them both and will always be there for them, but damn, they are flawed. Link to comment
JamesT2 Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 My mother used to tell me if I didn't do x y z and change blahblah, then I would be alone and no guy would want to date me. I did not take her advice. I'm fine. Parents, like everyone else, are capable of having flaws and being mean to people. They can mess you up early on by doing and saying things like this. Part of growing up is learning to move past it and knowing how to deal with it when it comes up. I go to therapy and do a lot better. My father violates proper boundaries and my mom, while rare now, can still say things that hurt. The difference is now is that I'm older and I'm learning not to take it to heart. I realized they are flawed now. I love them both and will always be there for them, but damn, they are flawed. I can entirely relate to this and this has come from both parents. I won't go into details but I've long stopped to put my parents on a pedestal. I realize I had my own flaws as a teen and as many teen was somehow obnoxious and self sufficient but it's not a reason to be mean to your kids. I don't think mine realized it hurt to hear a number of things they have told me then. Didn't go to therapy though, and have forgiven now. But as we say the behavior and strictness (sometimes plain idiocy) of my parents is not something I want to inherit and apply on my own children someday. I've been through many arguments with them, both are retired now and am happy they are around nonetheless. Link to comment
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