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Needing help with no contact rule

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It's been two weeks since she broke up with me. Last week I officially moved out of our apartment, since then we've cut all ties. However, today I'm really struggling. I keep checking my phone hoping she'll call/text and I don't want to breakdown and call her. I could really use a friend to talk with and keep me accountable for not giving in. So if anyone is interested please let me know.

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The urge will pass. Call or text a friend, make plans to go to lunch or coffee or something to take your mind off the urge to contact your ex. Ride it out because it will pass! Maybe get a list of things to do when you feel compelled to contact your ex so you can distract yourself until it passes (take a walk, call family/friends, take a shower, draw, read, write in a journal, etc.).


As wiseman said the results of giving in to the urge are hurtful and make the struggle take longer. Hugs! You can do it!

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I found this somewhere else and it helped me a little


Tips for No Contact


1. wait first. suppressing that desire to call is gonna make your body & heart feel a lot of tension and result in the opposite effect. tell yourself that it's not the end of the world if you call...but make yourself wait a few hours, after a few hours, tell yourself to wait a few more, etc.


2. get away from the phone. get out of the house and jog, do whatever it takes to change the setting you were in when you got the impulse to call. similarly, distract yourself by doing something else (shop, watch tv, eat, read a book, play video games, etc.)


3. imagine the conversation you'd have & all the negative things that can come out of that conversation. you'd get rejected again and feel that it's really over, this time, again! you'd find out that they have found someone! you'd find out that they haven't found anyone, but still don't want you back!


4. think of all the crappy things they've ever done to you. relive each moment. feel the sadness, pain, anger, frustration they'd put you through.


5. call someone else! go down your phone list and call someone til they pick up. talking to another person will let you vent and release some of those feelings of frustrations, sadness, despair, etc.


6. learn to let your feelings and impulses pass. every intense emotion stays in your body for a period of time and eventually decrease in intensity. this relates to step 1-wait it out.


7. take it easy on yourself and live through it each second at a time.

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Sit with the feeling and do nothing but feel it. The desire to contact is like your brain wanting it's fix. It fades with time. I'm 4 months out and could never do NC but if I was strong enough I would have healed so much faster. Be strong enough to heal!

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