Having a hard time moving on

[Luv2win]

I have dated this guy off and on for the past 20 yrs we have been through some ups and downs we got back in contact after a 5yr breakup when he went to jail his gf left him when he got locked up thinking he was going to do alot of time well he didnt he got out and went back to her then they broke up again when he went back to jail he had no one but me i supported him loved him helped him get a job when he got out it was good from 2013 to 2015 of oct he begain to physical emotionally abuse me and treat me so bad for no reason, he would stay out all night wouldnt help me pay bills and sometime wouldnt come home christmas and new years was horrible i was also dealing with the death of mom and issues with my only child, he didnt care i couldnt undertand whhy jhe would be to evil to me for no reason whn all i done was helped him well i had a break down due to all the things i was dealing with feb 2016 he moved his clothes out stating he wanted to to be alone to learn he went back to the ex gf i was devestated i cut all tides he begain to blame me for the break up he called me names and just did me very dirty.....i was never taught to treat people wrong mind you i never had a issue with getting a man but although he was no good to mean i still cant help but to wonder why he would do me so wrong for no reason when i was all he had besides god, i dont no why i want a aoplogy from him he has made me look like a fool to the world why cant i move on from this i dont want to be with him so why do i care if he care how bad that hurt me im so lost for words now some days im strong others im not to have someone to do you so wrong is crazy i dont have contact with im but some days i just go into depressed mode i dont wish bad on him i just want answers hes a evil person and i hate he was ok to hurt me so bad i feel like trash and im a good person...help please i gotta go on and be happy why do i feel this way some days

[Wiseman2]

Guys in jail unusually do set up an a few outside women to pay their expenses and have a place to stay when they get out. Sociopaths usually do and say whatever it takes to do what's in their own interests. They do not really care if they deceive or use people, in fact that is often part of the fun and survival tactic for them.

 

Run, don't even think about this guy or date guys with other women or criminal records. He used you the way a tick or any other parasite uses a warm body for a free meal,free ride. Think of him as a bedbug or tapeworm or pubic crab...because that's all he is.

he went to jail his gf left him when he got locked up thinking he was going to do alot of time well he didnt he got out and went back to her then they broke up again when he went back to jail he had no one but me i supported him loved him helped him get a job when he got out.

[DancingFool]

I guess your parents should have taught you that if you cuddle up with a poisonous snake, no matter how well you treat it and feed it, eventually it will bite you for the very simple reason that that is its nature. So goes with people - you can be the most wonderful person in the world, but if you shack up with evil people, they will harm you eventually purely because that's who they are. You will never change their nature and they will break you purely because they can and they enjoy the feel.

 

So, do yourself a favor and cut this cancer out of your life and going forward....seek people out who are more like you - nice and kind and honest. No more trying to save criminals. If you need to help people, go volunteer at an animal shelter, foster dogs or cats, volunteer for fund raising races and causes - fulfill your need to help in a healthy way.

[RainyCoast]

i'm so, so sorry for your pain.

 

people like your ex don't have empathy. none of it. zero regard for others. of course it hurts to be on receiving end of such treatment. i hope you and your child have both gotten counseling to help you recover from this lowlife.

 

one can suffer serious mental health damage from the described abuse, including post-traumatic stress disorder. it makes it difficult to move on from the abuse. small and adult children alike who are exposed to such behavior can be permanently damaged so i really hope you have found help and support for the both of you.

 

i hope there is a typo in the text and you didn't actually spend 20 years on him.

 

do you have any remaining family or friends to count on? you could google support groups for single mums?

[Luv2win]

Thanks i totally agree i actually have spent 20 yrs off and on with this guy.....my mom was on her dying bed and begged me to leave him alone because he will continue to be who he is and will not change she asked me to promise her i wouldnt allow him to hurt me again and i didnt listen but years ago i would have still dealt with him after all hes done but this time i couldnt allow myself to be in a dark space im not sure why i want a apology from him ireally just want to move on....i just thought he was a much better person than that, thanks for your true comments i no hes no good but i known him a long time and in dis belief

[Wiseman2]

Sociopaths have no empathy or remorse. Just move on and listen to mama.

i want a apology from him ireally just want to move on

[saluk]

You want an apology because he has hurt you so badly and so many times - you want him to take that pain away. But the person responsible for the pain is never the one who will take it away. With 20 years of build-up, this is not going to be easy to work through. You will need all of the help you can get. Counselors, friends, work, faith, whatever you think may help, start to seek it out. When you feel that pang of desire that involves this messed up man acting in a certain way, that's your broken soul's cry for help. But don't turn to him, because he will never fulfill those desires or repair the hole - he is the one who caused it. You HAVE to start building your way out of that hole rather than digging it deeper.

 

I'm sorry you lost your mom. She sounds like a smart woman. She loved you, and she wanted you to be happy. You owe it to yourself to start treating yourself right, and not going after fools who don't deserve you.

[Luv2win]

Thank you i feel so much better and confident that i will learn to live a beautful life my encouragment is my mom, and i will live as she wanted me to as well as think highly of myself so that i dont settle for trash....thanks alot you guys for not thinking negative of me i appreciate the encourage ment