Fear of dancing

[fly8405]

Ok. This is my number 1 problem in life and it takes a toll on my relantionship. I HATE DANCING! I PREFER TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT THAT! I don't know why but I am afraid and terrified of going out there on the dance floor. I have tried and gone to salsa clases and failed (only one class). I feel inferior to my girlfriend and feel I am not good enough to get out there.

 

She has gotten acustomed to not asking if I want to go to parties and she herself has stopped going. All she has ever wanted is to be with me and dance with me, but my insecurity with this issue takes a toll on me and the both of us. I want to try to fix this so that I can personally grow out of it and so that we can grow out of it. I just don't see it happening.

 

I really need any advice that is going to cure this fear because I can't do anything about it

[annie24]

well, you're not going to be any good at anything on the first try. Don't let that bother you. Maybe you can get a home DVD first teaching you some basic steps. The key to dancing is just to feel the rythym. What is the music saying to you? I say, get right back on that horse! Go back to the classes - just have fun - don't worry if you're not Fred Astaire. Good luck!

[MetallicAguy]

Does your weight have anything to do with this issue? My friend is afraid to dance around attractive women at times because his belly jiggles like buddha lol. It just doesn't matter. And somehow this "I CANT DANCE AND I HATE IT" crap could be somewhat related to social anxiety. Just don't worry about it and like what annie said buy or rent a video on basic dancing.

[abcd1234]

Have a look online or at your local library for books about dancing, then when you have learned a few moves and feel a bit more confident i would suggest that you enrol yourself in a dancing class. They say that the only way to beat your fears is to face them head on so enrolling for dancing lessons would probably the way to go about beating this fear of dancing. Remember that everybody has to start somewhere so dont be ashamed if you feel you arent as good as everyone else, im sure they will be happy to help you and you will soon advance and develop your skills until yuo feel you are ready to go out one the dancefloor with your girlfriend.

 

Good luck and have confidence in yourself!

[tiger_lilies]

First off I have to state that I am an advid dancer. I will dance alone at home and alone on the dance floor, mainly because I LOVE music.

 

Your insecurity has basically gotten the better of you. Why do you worry so much what others think of your dancing? Is it because you criticize how others look when dancing? I only ask because I wonder if you are insecure about that due to your own outlook on others?

 

Do you like music? Can you carry a beat?

 

You don't have to a good dancer to dance. Just go with the beat of the music. I find that it's always easier to dance when you like what's being played. If the song is not your taste, it's harder to dance.

 

Dancing is all about how your body reacts to the music. Free style.

[Iceman26]

My friend, I have your solution. Go to 80's clubs. Everyone looks like a fool dancing to 80's music, I love it. You will fit right in and be comfortable.

[annie24]

My friend, I have your solution. Go to 80's clubs. Everyone looks like a fool dancing to 80's music, I love it. You will fit right in and be comfortable.

 

Yes! And the worse the dancer you are, the better it will look!!!

[CarterJonas]

lol...You haven't seen me dance then have you? I would give you a run for your money, but the way I think of it is that it doesn't bother me (which it doesnt) then it didn't bother the girl I was dancing with. Remember that most of the time we make things out to be worse than they actually are.

 

maybe one or two classes might help, even tell your girlfriend you want her to teach you, I'm sure she will be more than pleased that you asked for her help so you improve to be able to go out and dance with her.

[Iceman26]

I'm serious, go out to an 80's club this weekend, see what I am talking about. Everybody looks like a fool dancing, it is so much fun. Trust me!

[marijo2480]

I agree. Ask your gf to teach you! She'll enjoy it! Trust me. It'll make her feel good that you're at least making an effort and have an interest in learning. I'm sure it'll be a plus in her book! Just have fun with it and don't be so paranoid about what others think. Dancing to 80s music will definitely help you loosen up, which is key! Good luck!

[Fif Angel]

I used to be a LOT like that when I was younger. I hated dancng at school discos and used to just stand about feeling embarrassed. Basically because I was a bit of a geek at school and was very self conscious about how I looked and what others thought of me.

 

As I got older though, I started to care less what people thought and would get up and dance around, although there was a time when I could only do it when I was drunk.

 

Now I absolutely LOVE dancing-in fact I am usually the first one on the floor. Strangers have actually came up to me and complimented me on my dancing- one guy said it was `very sexy` Basically, when I stopped caring what people thought and focused on having a laugh, the moves came easily. I even tried some belly dancing on holiday in front of a huge crowd of people, and lots of people came up to me afterwards and said they thought I was great

 

Just chill and go with it-dance for yourself and have a laugh

[JonnyG]

Don't worry mate. Your not alone. I refuse to. Why? Because i don't want to make a tool of myself.

 

Almost all girls can dance because when on the dance floor they can just shuffle their boobs and backsides and it turns us guys on.

 

Almost no guy can dance....at least well. How many go to the dance floor and dance badly? Loads of them. The fact is, I don't want to embarrass myself because "I aint no John Travolta", and thats the line i tell girls who try to get me to dance.

 

Fact of the matter is, I wouldnt get a girl to do something if she didnt want to do it because it embarrassed her. I hope they would do the same for me.

 

It is REALLY annoying, I would love to be a great dancer. It makes u look good, it makes u have more chance with the ladies, u have more fun on nights out. But unfortunately, apart from when i was drunk at 16-19, i just havent bothered since, cause i know im bad at it. Simple fact is, if u get a girl who likes u and then she watches u dance bad, dont expect her to hang about. My mate has lost a few girls because of his dancing, nuff said.

[DragonGirl724]

i posted about this in someone else's post:

 

link removed

 

dont be afraid. i understand how you can feel inferior to your GF, but dude im sure there are a ton of things you can do better than her that she wishes she coudl do. youre in a relationship dont be jealous of your lover. you 2 love eachother for your strengths & your weaknesses. dont be jealous of what you love about her...its what makes you love her! be glad she can rock it on the dance floor! props to her! we all cant be great at everything. read what i wrote in that post. it also give some advice on dance tips.

 

goodluck.

 

-DG724