dont like myself

[broadshoulders]

i just recently realized that the reason why im shy is cos i strongly feel like im no good on the inside. like i feel utter dislike for my self, there isnt a word on this planet that i can use to describe how i feel on the inside. i feel less than everyone around me like they deserve life and i dont. what the heck. where did this come about. i see some people actually worship themselves. how can you like yourself where do yo start. i want to be able to like myself to the point where i actually become selfish, like good selfish, and stop being a people pleaser. just letting this scum out of me.

[VeryShyGuy]

I am in the same situation as you, constantly shy and depressed. Is it all you or is it people around you that put you down? For me, its a little both. Try doing new things, like a sport or a hobby or try to improve at school. Try developing a skill you have into something you can be proud of. Well, thats what I am trying to do.

[imaweirdo]

I had low self esteem for many years. I tried councelling but it wasnt at the right time. I was totally descructive and ended up with an eating disorder for a long time. what you wrote is exactly how I use to feel. It was my burden because I wouldnt go out because I felt like everyone would be repulsed by me. It is a case of you are your own worse enemy syndrome.

 

But the thing is, you really put it on yourself. It is so easy to concentrate on the negatives because as humans we are always striving to do better and reach an ideal. When someone makes a horrible comment towards you it is more easy to focus on that, instead of the good comments you've received.

 

I know this may sound silly but it is in your head. Im sure if I knew you I would not think half the bad things you do about yourself.

 

The turning point for me was finding new friends. I was lucky I found a group of people who knew about my problem and they constantly told me how much they did love me. I realised life is too short to spend it being depressed and unhappy. I am sure you are loved by lots of people, if something happened to you I am sure you will be missed. You really need to try and attack this.

 

Half the things I use to think of myself I wouldnt even think of my worse enemy, whats the point? You really should love yourself, but at the end of the day you die alone. The life you would of led would of been your own. So you have to try and make the best of it for yourself and no one else.

[kalshane]

Its your inner dialogue!! Maybe its what you're eating! Lack of exercise can be a factor too! Start with those things, and be dilligent and disciplined. The most important thing, though is what kind of messages you saying to yourself. I can't emphasize enough the importance of this. You may need to look into nurturing your own spirituality, something that is congruent with your beliefs and morals. Improvement won't happen overnight, but over time it will become an irresistible force. How badly do you want to improve? Think about the changes and sacrifices you'll have to make to reach that goal and DO IT. You don't get nothing in this world without having to work at it.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, we all get in a rut and down on ourselvers from time to time. Pick yourselves up , dust yourself off and get back in the game. It is not if you get knocked down to the mat, it is if you decide to stay down that matters.....Quote from Mohammad Ali

 

I suggest you go to the bookstore, and get some books on helping you with your self-Esteem....you can do this.....

 

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

8)

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

i just recently realized that the reason why im shy is cos i strongly feel like im no good on the inside. like i feel utter dislike for my self, there isnt a word on this planet that i can use to describe how i feel on the inside. i feel less than everyone around me like they deserve life and i dont. what the heck. where did this come about. i see some people actually worship themselves. how can you like yourself where do yo start. i want to be able to like myself to the point where i actually become selfish, like good selfish, and stop being a people pleaser. just letting this scum out of me.

I feel exactly 100% like you feel. This is tough for me to give advice for, because I also despise the person that I am. I mean, everyone likes me, in my 32 years there hasn't been a person who has met me and disliked me or said a bad thing about me, but stilll I hate myself with a passion. It starts with my looks. When I was 10, my parents brought me a dresser set with a large mirror. A few years later, I just got so sick of myself that I ripped the mirror from the dresser (which I still have) and threw it in the garbage. I don't even have a mirror in my room because I absolutely despise what I have been chiseled out to be.

 

Then it continues with my interaction with people. There are plenty of times when I'll do something so silly that I think I come off like a fool, and I think about it days/weeks/years later like I committed a murder. I always wonder if I left with a good impression. Did you ever see that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza would say something funny and then abrupty leave the room because he wanted to leave on a high note. I'll do this a lot. If I get a crowd laughing, I'm outta there until the next encounter. This is due to low self esteem.

 

And I also cringe at compliments. I shy away from them and I tell people to stop talking about me. I'll literally leave a room because I don't think I deserve such treatment. But with all of this, I realize that I am wrong to think this, yet I cannot stop loathing myself.

 

kalshane is right about inner dialogue. You need to change that. I'll look in the mirror and say things like, "No girl will like you. You are too ugly. Such and such guy is way hotter than you, you have no shot with her you ugly ignorant turd!" What did I do just there? I compared myself to someone. That's never a good thing. You need to worry about you and you only. Forget about feeling unworthy around other people because I'm sure that they don't give it a second thought. Why should you?

 

I guess you need to get "in the zone". Self help books will help, along with techniques and practice so that you can feel better about yourself. I wish you luck because feeling this way is no fun at all.

[revdeluka]

hey dude, im sure everyone has at some point in their lives thought very lowly of themselves. you dont have to feel that way cos like any muscle in your body you need to give your mind a workout of good stuff to be able to do good stuff. im sure your a gem but unpolished thats all. even diamonds look like sh.t when unpolished. so buy self help books and practice. good luck budy.

[thisisnotanexit]

you're a great, special person. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. don't let people walk all over you, you're just as good as them. still be kind to your fellow man, but remember, everyone is equal.

[broadshoulders]

thanks guys, i really appreciate your help. its just hard for me to believe im worthy of anything. i dont want to dig out garbage or anything but i can remember that when i was little my uncles and aunts will praise all my brothers and cousins of looking cute or handsome or something like that and i would be left out. that is a scare that doesnt want to disappear. sighs, i just wonder, how do you feel good about yourself when you arent that goodlooking. some people arent that good looking but exude such great energy. what should you like about yourself cos they say its whats on the inside that counts. so what am i supposed to look out for on the inside?

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Just know that on the inside that you are a good person. The world in a really big place, just look at all the new friends you have made here. Opportunity sometimes knocks in very strange ways, so keep on knocking

on doors and I promise you one will open for you. Someday when the time is right you will meet someone that is the right match for you and you will know by the way you are being treated by that person. Until that time comes for you in your life, just keep your head up high and keep plugging away and try and keep your focus. As far as the stuff in the past

I can on suggest get over it, it was there loss not paying the attention to you. Someday when your strong maybe you might want to return and show them how you made it with out there help. I commend you, you beat them all.

 

Good luck

Kuhl

8)