Seraphim Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 It's Tuesday late afternoon. I called the counselor and left the voicemail on Sunday. Unless she's on vacation, I guess I won't hear from her. Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. It won't change one thing. Also people don't tend answer phone calls when somebody just wants to rub something in their face. Just leave it and go on with life. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. It won't change one thing. Also people don't tend answer phone calls when somebody just wants to rub something in their face. lol, "rubbing it in her face" was not my intent. The memory of her saying, "You DON'T..." when I told her my suspicions of being autistic were in my mind. I felt that by telling her now, I could make some peace with the past. Just leave it and go on with life. Easier said than done, lol. I'll try, though. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 lol, "rubbing it in her face" was not my intent. The memory of her saying, "You DON'T..." when I told her my suspicions of being autistic were in my mind. I felt that by telling her now, I could make some peace with the past. Easier said than done, lol. I'll try, though. But still it is 14 YEARS ago. She is probably looking at her phone thinking What. The. Hell. And erased the message. Let . It. Go. Exactly ZERO will change by you beating yourself and others with the past . Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 You can be RIGHT or you can be happy. You can seldom be both . Don't make everything a mountain to die on. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 I can tell you if I was phoned by a former client after 14 years to be told , know what I was right, so there. I would be thinking OMG bunney boiler, must run. I would be TOTALLY weirded out. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 I can tell you if I was phoned by a former client after 14 years to be told , know what I was right, so there. I would be thinking OMG bunney boiler, must run. I would be TOTALLY weirded out. In case you're curious, she actually didn't say "You DON'T..." in a mean way. More so, in a way that said, "Uh, honey, that ain't what's wrong with you." lol Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 I would be thinking OMG bunney boiler, must run. I would be TOTALLY weirded out. bunney boiler? What's that? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 What I am saying is your particular special interest it seems is proving yourself to every single person ever who you feel has wronged you . Don't you think that is a waste of life? Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 What I am saying is your particular special interest it seems is proving yourself to every single person ever who you feel has wronged you . Don't you think that is a waste of life? It's the peacemaker in me; trying to make things right, make up for lost time, etc. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 It's the peacemaker in me; trying to make things right, make up for lost time, etc. I am not seeing what " needs to be made right." Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 I am not seeing what " needs to be made right." That she now knows that I'm autistic after all. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 That she now knows that I'm autistic after all. Why does she need to know? What purpose does it serve? Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 Why does she need to know? What purpose does it serve? That she knows, and now everything has been made right. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 That she knows, and now everything has been made right. I don't think she felt it was out of place to begin with. 99% of the time people are concerned with themselves and their own life, careers, families, friends,kids and mostly themselves . You are proving this nicely . In this venture you are worried about yourself which proves people are 99% concerned with themselves . So she got the message move on. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 That she knows, and now everything has been made right. What if you tell her and she goes "OMG I made a mistake"... And then she feels so horrible about it that she kills herself over it. Like it or not, deep down you know you would feel fine with that... Because you need someone to blame for all your "autistic" actions you made prior to knowing what they were. You want her to feel the same pain that you felt. I'm sorry, but be realistic. You are gonna make yourself sick over the past. I'll admit I do this too but I never make an actual action of calling them about it. The reality is the "lost time" shouldn't be blamed on anyone but yourself. Think about all the undiagnosed people who may never know. I get why you are so mad, but you are being silly about it. Get your mind on something else. It's okay to think about this time again, but there really isn't a real reason to let her know. She's a bigger emotion to you than you are to her. Don't put so much trust in what people say unless you truely believe it within yourself. People here on ENA think I might be autistic. What if they are right? What if they are wrong? At the end of the day, I can make my own choice on how that effects me. People assume that if you are diagnosed with something it gives them clarity. But did you know that I could feel healthy, go to the doctors tomorrow and everything will be alright, but go get a physical 5 years from now to find out I had a terminal illness for 7 years? Hospitals make mistakes all the time. You just have to "live with it" per say. Yes it sucks.. But being autistic isn't a life terminal disease. So right now, I think you are okay. 👌🏻😉 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 It's Tuesday late afternoon. I called the counselor and left the voicemail on Sunday. Unless she's on vacation, I guess I won't hear from her. And most likely you won't. So, you're ready to move on from this, correct? Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 What if you tell her and she goes "OMG I made a mistake"... And then she feels so horrible about it that she kills herself over it. Ok, that is quite a drastic and very unrealistic idea. If I should be realistic as you imply, you should be the same. You are gonna make yourself sick over the past. I'll admit I do this too but I never make an actual action of calling them about it. I know...I'm trying to move on. But it's tough with my conditions. (Austim, depression, huge memory, etc.) I get why you are so mad, but you are being silly about it. I'm not mad. It was just on my mind, and the more I thought about how incorrect she was---when my suspicions proved correct---I just felt she should know. Get your mind on something else. Everyday I try. Don't put so much trust in what people say unless you truely believe it within yourself. People here on ENA think I might be autistic. What if they are right? What if they are wrong? At the end of the day, I can make my own choice on how that effects me. People assume that if you are diagnosed with something it gives them clarity. But did you know that I could feel healthy, go to the doctors tomorrow and everything will be alright, but go get a physical 5 years from now to find out I had a terminal illness for 7 years? Hospitals make mistakes all the time. You just have to "live with it" per say. Yes it sucks.. But being autistic isn't a life terminal disease. So right now, I think you are okay. 👌🏻😉 I try to remember stuff like this. As I said, it's hard. But I try. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 And most likely you won't. So, you're ready to move on from this, correct? Correct. I have not heard from her, and I'm moving on from her in general. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 Use your vast memory for good things . My son does. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 I know, they're amazing! I know one man who can remember everyone's birthday, even people he met only once. It's just incredible. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 Use your vast memory for good things . My son does. I've often said my huge memory is my curse and my blessing. It's pulled me out of sticky situations, as well as gotten me positive things. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 I actually drove by the office where I called and left the voicemail. I checked the directory; my former counselor's name wasn't on it. She must have retired or just stopped working there. Maybe she never even got my voicemail after all. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 She probably has been gone or retired for years. Depending on her age when she knew you she could be retired. She could have gone to something else. It doesn't matter. YOU care you are autistic. She doesn't . You won't find find her and if you do that is weird and stalker like. Progress with life. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 She probably has been gone or retired for years. Depending on her age when she knew you she could be retired. She could have gone to something else. It doesn't matter. YOU care you are autistic. She doesn't . You won't find find her and if you do that is weird and stalker like. Progress with life. I know, I won't try to pursue her. I checked the directory because I was curious. That's all. Link to comment
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