Ending to painful relationship

[Lotusavx]

he was the one to end it. It lasted 4 years 2 oh which we lived together. The relationship was based on my insecurities and jealousy. They got better in the last year but still was there. I admit he put up with a lot of my immaturity since I was 17 and he was 6 years older. He had problems too: bad influence friends who would always influence him to drink. He was in medicated bi polar and I didn't even know what the signs were but it was there. He never admit to anything he did wrong. I'd say we fought at least once a week for the first year living together. It got better to maybe once every two weeks. I feel like I caused so many problems and if I had a problem with him (staying out too late drinking with his buddies was a common one) he made me feel like there is no reason to be mad at that and I was being unreasonable. He was physical on so many occasions I can't even count, but he made me feel like it was ok because I "pushed him" to be that way. I wish I was more easy going in the relationship but he had so much free time (never had a steady job) but his constant hanging out with his loser friends pissed ms off! Am I wrong for that to upset me? Anyways I feel bad for putting him through my issues and I really want to understand and better myself from them. Is it possible that I had such low self esteem that I kept going back even when he was physical? He always came back too, yet he's the one with more common sense to see why we aren't good for each other and end it. It's been a crazy relationship but I still miss him terribly. I'm moving from our place and the area where we have so many memories. I'm sorry for rambling but posting here is a great outlet for me. Today is the first day I haven't contacted him so far. It's so hard getting use to not having someone in my life. Thanks for reading and any insight is appreciated.

[Wiseman2]

Let go and do not contact him. He is abusive, unstable and drinks too much. Keep busy with friends, family, getting employment or going back to school and forward your life now that the burden has lifted with him being gone.

he was the one to end it. him to drink. He was in medicated bi polar. He was physical on so many occasions.

[ThatwasThen]

Take the time during your healing process to get personal therapy to help you with your self-worth and to help you hone your personal boundaries because really, if you were good with those things you would have run from him as fast as you could instead of blaming yourself for not being good enough. This man is a mentally issued, alcohol abuser who got physically violent with you. He is NOT the epitome of virtue and his behaviour towards you was not due to how you handled things. Even if you were a compliant door mat that accepted his dysfunction without words or deeds of defiance he would still be the abusive garbage and waste of air that he is. He has problems that only a therapist has any chance of improving upon. (maybe not even then)

 

If you are not going to get therapy, luv then do yourself a favor and read everything you can on codependency, codependent relationships, how to break the cycle of abuse, and the importance of personal boundaries because if you don't work on what's going on within you, then you are sure to end up with someone just like him if you don't learn to love yourself better then you currently are.

[Scarro]

Remember he broke up with you and he will try to come back once he realizes he is a loser and no other woman wants him. Go No contact change your number if you have too. he's not going to do nothing but cause you to be miserable. Move on and stay busy do things that make you feel good about yourself. You'll find someone better and when you do you'll ask yourself why did I put up with that poop head