I need desperate help .

[jonjon11]

Okay so my ex girlfriend left me in February , and then we patched for awhile secretly in March until now . She asked me to wait for 4-6 months before we got back together but today , it was a different story . She finally allowed me to have friends who are girls and hang out with them . The reason behind this is she wanted to stay single and try it out with other boys . So obviously I felt like because it seemed like I waited for nothing . She recently went on a staycation and there was this guy who confessed to her and they started talking . She said he was nice and she seemed interested . So I'm like what the ? Who am I now ? Things came to the point where we broke up once again before we even officially patched back publicly . She said if things weren't working out with him then maybe I will stand a chance . Because she wants to explore . So now we're just best friends , and I honestly don't know if I should stay . After our first break up , she went off with another guy and got attached to him . She regretted it and that's how we got secretly patched . That's why I think I should stay again , just being there for her so there'll be a chance again next time . But if I give up on everything , if she ever wants me again then it'll be too late . I really love her and she makes me so happy . I don't know what to do anymore . Please help ..

[Man with Dog]

If she really loved you she would not feel the need to "try it out with other boys". Are you really going to sit and wait for 4-6 months while she has sex with the world and his dog? It really looks like she wants you around on the back burner while she has her fun.

[Billie28]

Are you really ok with waiting around to see if it works out with this guy and if it doesn't, even then you are still only "maybe" in with a "chance"?

Sorry, but tell her no to being friends, cut her off, NC , she made her decision and her decision is not you.

No one deserves to be treated with that crap!

She wants to split, she is easing it for her while making it difficult for you. She is not coming back.

[jonjon11]

I can't bear to .. I know that I'm being stupid but I love so so much and just talking to her already can cheer me up and I feel so happy . I want to be with her but I don't want to feel this way anymore . I feel so lost .

[Man with Dog]

I can't bear to .. I know that I'm being stupid but I love so so much and just talking to her already can cheer me up and I feel so happy . I want to be with her but I don't want to feel this way anymore . I feel so lost .

 

Not trying to sound negative towards you here. What you have is obsession, rather than love. I know this from my own past self. You are prepared to lose all of your self-respect for this girl. Engineering a break to have sex with others is not a loving thing to do. She has no respect for you whatsoever. I totally get not wanting to feel this way. The next part isn't easy BUT you need to start your healing process now. Even if she does come back, could you accept her having slept with multiple partners? What happens if she asks for a break again?

[Billie28]

You simply hate the rejection more than you love her.

Why would you love someone who doesn't give a crap about you?!

Your "secret" get back together was only secret because she had no intentions of getting back with you. She was using you to fill a void because she missed the other guy who likely rejected her.

Now she has interest in another and she will do the same.

Have some self respect and stop letting this girl use you.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like she doesn't want an exclusive relationship. Not much you can do if she wants to date others and tells you to do the same.

know that I'm being stupid but I love so so much and just talking to her already can cheer me up and I feel so happy . I want to be with her but I don't want to feel this way anymore .The reason behind this is she wanted to stay single and try it out with other boys.

[No1]

I can't bear to .. I know that I'm being stupid but I love so so much and just talking to her already can cheer me up and I feel so happy . I want to be with her but I don't want to feel this way anymore . I feel so lost .

 

Why do you want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you? Why do you love someone who thinks of you as her #2 or #3 option? From what you said you are the friend who is safe and will never hurt her, you are always going to be there and she will always see you as the safety net.

As long as you hold out hope that you two will be romantic and be in a committed relationship this rollercoaster ride will continue. She is asking you to wait because she looking for someone better, if she doesnt find it she will come back to you. But even is she does one eye will be looking for the next perfect guy. If you dont want to feel like a doormat, then let her go and have her see a life without you.