Day one of moving forward

[allibaidoo4]

I decided to write a journal of my daily healing process. Going through a break up with someone you love is really hard. I have been NC for three weeks and eventually I will just stop counting the weeks because there is no point.

 

Day 1

 

Well today I am feeling pretty okay. I have not talked to my ex in three weeks. I am feeling quite numb actually very numb and I don't know how to feel. I'm just tired of this situation. I am tired of being hurt by someone who says that they love me yet they always seem to put their wants and needs before mine(*ucking selfish). From today, I will try. Key word TRY. Try to focus on what I want and what I need. I can no longer think about why he left because any answer he will give me honestly, wont make me understand or feel better. I don't know why he left, no one knows why he left. Only him and God. All I know is he left me and for whatever reason he likes to break up and make up. I am honestly tired of it and I am getting too old for the games. We are both going too be 24 in September and I feel like he has not really matured since we met when we were 19. I just don't understand his way of thinking but like I said before. I need to concentrate on my self. I am hoping tonight I can get some rest physically and mentally.