2 Shy people...

[Taomagicdragon]

Alright, this girl and I have been friends for a while, I'm 17 and she's 16. Now, in July, she found out that I like her, and she liked me too, but, niether of us acted on it, and our mutual friend sorta made any romantic relationship unable to happen because her and I were reminded of past times when datign a friend ended up wrecking the friendship. Fast forward to now. We both have a slight tnesion not to overstep any boundries, however, at some points, we seem as though we're throwing caution to the wind, only to be reeled back with the reality that both of us are too shy and afraid to let our friendship come under any risk. We both love eachother, but niether of us are sure nor willing to get it into a relationship, despite that we both want to, but are choosing not to. ANother friend of mine says we secretly are in love with eacother, and is obvious to others, but we'll deny it whilst thinking about eachother. Her past relationship was with her prev. best guy-friend. She dumped him and the friendship suffered and was ruined. SHe doesn't want to lose me like that. I;d be willing to take a risk if she was, but even I am not 100% sure ... though I'd still try if she wanted to. Now, I'd never do anything to hurt her, I;d never cheat, lie, or any other malicious - intented thing. So, what should I do, I know we both have some form of feelings for eachother, unless I'm wrong, either way, I'm at a loss. IN short, help! lol

[ShySoul]

I know what your saying. You are afraid that taking your friendship to another level that you risk losing that friendship if things don't work out. But if the two of you like each other, there is no reason to let fear get in the way. Don't deny your feelings because of what MIGHT happen. If the two of you have a really strong friendship and work out in differences that might come up peacefully, there is no reason why you can't go out and still be friends should something unfortunately break you two up. Go for it now, you don't want to live with the regret of not taking the chance when you had it.

[MetallicAguy]

Who said you can't be best friends with your gf? I know a lot of my friends that have been best friends with a girl and they always end up 3-4 months later being back together again lol. Or they just remain good friends and act like their still together but no intimacy if you get what I'm talking about. So don't be afraid just ask her if she wants to make out or, you could be like watching TV for example, then tell her how beautiful her hair is and then pet it lol,(seriously this works) and then if she lets you pet her hair then she wants to make out.I mean why wouldn't she if she has these feelings for you and everyone can tell? She shouldn't be THAT shy where she can't express her true feelings. That's absurd.

Shysoul: You don't want to regret not taking the chance when you had it.

[Alabama]

You can still remain friends, even if you are dating. Many couples I know, still treat each other as friends and even after they break up, they are still friends nonetheless. So take a risk, and hope for the best! Good luck!

[Taomagicdragon]

True true, funny thing, to elaborate on the entire situation, her family knows I like her, while her past relationship is holding her back, I've other thigns holding me back. You see, I was physically abused for 11 years by my father, and it was all allowed/encouraged by my mother, who neglected me. She'd run in screaming if my siblings were in any trouble, but only once did she stop him from hitting me, then she found out I wasn't cleanign fast enough, and walked out of the room, with my father free to do as he wished. So, it can be surmised that I've never had love of any sort, and didn't have any real friend until just recently, now that the abuse has ended and my father walked out. In comparison to her family, who loves her, cares about her, and even seem to care about me, I'm astounded and suddenly feel less than worthy to be anything to her, much less her friend.

[ShySoul]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, it wasn't right. But never for a minute think that you are unworthy of being loved. You deserve someone who cares about you and will love you. It's not uncommon for someone who has been in your situation to feel this way. All you've ever known is hurt, so you expect that to continue. The idea of having people who will honestly show love for you is new and even scary. But you have to open yourself up to it, or you will never feel better about things. Let what you've gone through be in the past and embrace a better future.