whats your rule?

[goddess23]

hey everyone. i was just wondering how many of you have ever gotten back with your ex. im just wondeirng how many of you think its ok or that it just doesnt work.

 

as well my ex and i have been getting cloes again and im scared to open myself up or just have hope for something that maybe i shouldnt. thanx!

[Riles84]

Depends on the Ex .. I know my ex hurt me soo bad I may never be able to forgive her. I suppose if you can really see change in a person and see a better person, then its worth a shot, but at the same time, How can you be someones second choice? Just my opinion. I know right now if my ex came back id consider it because there are still feelings there, but I already know it would never be the same as it was because of wahts happened, and that would more than likely make me decide not to go back.

[DN]

some do, some don't. Just be careful and guard your heart. But it is probably worth seeing what can happen. Many people successfully hook up with their high school romances and make a go of it.

[Empathy]

My ex and I have been back together for over a month now. Things are great. Except for one issue that I posted about recently... Anyway, it can happen. Just be careful.

[cremebrulee]

I think it depends on the ex and the reason for breaking up. I know that there is absolutely no way i could get back together with my last ex-boyfriend because there would be no trust between us, it would never ever work.

 

But i am currently with an ex from 7 years ago and our relationship now is better than it ever was back then. Although it was sad to break up with him before, it wasn't over something horrible like infidelity or a massive blow-up of an argument, i didn't want to break up the first time but i understood why we had to.... he was not ready to grow up and i was, he still wanted to go and party hard and be young and irresponsible. Now after 7 years, a couple of relationships and a child on his side he is a lot more mature and settled and we find that we have much more in common now and get along much better. We have been together for over a year now and, apart from some minor hiccups recently, all has been going very well.

 

You have to assess whether you are truly over what happened to cause the break-up and whether things have changed enough to move forward. I think there is always residual emotions and desires for exes so it is easy to feel attracted and close to someone you were once intimate with. Just guard yourself and be sure you want it to progress for the right reasons. There is no reason not to have hope as anything can happen in life. Good Luck! I hope it all works out well for you.

[Riles84]

If you break up, there are issues that need to be dealt with before it can work. As long as you both have worked out your personally issues and inner demons, then its almost like starting from scratch casue you are new people. You have to understand why you broke up in teh first place though so you are able to grow and mature

[peanut15]

I tried to get back with two of my ex's after a breakup but they didn't last. But my best friend did after several years and apparently it is working for her. I guess it just depends on the situation of the initial breakup.

[goddess23]

ok well in my case our brekaup is still unclear. he even said "maybe im a jacka** for doing this". he went on vacation and came back confused. i mean our relationship was perfect but basically this little vacation made him question his feelings. so yeah...in my specific case the only thing im afreaid of is that the same thing will happen again.

[justagirl20f]

I never have, and never will. Trust and security is so important for me in a relationship, that once that security is gone I'd never be the same. If I broke up with him, there would be a reason. I don't do the whole "on/off" thing or break up with my BF for every little thing. We are capable of arguing without losing respect for one another, or wanting not to be together. Conversely, if he broke up with me for something, it would shatter me and I'd never be able to give myself to him like I do after that.

 

That said, there are couples that break up with the same frequency as other couples bicker, so in that case, the EX isn't the problem, the way you handle your issues is the problem.

 

As far as your situation, it's identical to my BF's. His ex came back "confused" from a vacation and ended their 5-year relationship. He was very strong and smart for never taking her back. If you can question your love for someone after that length of time, it isn't meant to be and that wasn't good enough for him.

 

With so many single people in the world, why bother with someone who isn't 100% sure of your relationship, and totally NOT confused? That's my opinion.