I Ended It But Still Feel Like S***e Months Later (Drunk Text Her Broke NC)

[Ccottom]

Ive been in a tonne of relationships before, most of the time im hurt so move straight on after dumped but thats the teenage relationships i had. I never truly felt like i liked anyone. I dated girls because they were popular or because i was on the rebound, but none i liked or connected with. I decided rather than a rebound id stay single and focus on myself, family and friends for a while. I did, for a year, i then moved away with work and met a girl that lived in the area. We were almost identical in every way, we were inseperable and wanted to do everything for eacg other...except for her dream to move to the capital city with her friend (raging drug addict who was guaranteed to take my gf that route to, she started going that way at uni, i turned her round).

 

I told her, this dream would be the end of us two. It was me or move, im not living my life waiting for the day you may or may not come home from living your partying dreams with friends then turn up to my house broke wanting to live with me, thats having your cake and eating it too.

 

She chose me but ever since that conversation we went downhill, she became jealous, angry, argumentative at the drop of a hat, resentful, she changed her behavior towards me and held against me that she lost everything and it was my fault. The problem was i loved this girl more than anything, i doted over everything, i took care of her how a bf should and looked past all the arguments she started (little things like me saying that my friend thinks hes great at getting girls etc).

 

We planned a holiday to Mexico together, i paid it all off and she was to pay her half when she had the money. She had already told her friend the year before theyd go travelling, but then she met me and forgot about that plan, i could see the little light going in her head, if she did this holiday she couldnt afford or hhave time to go travelling even though she didnt want to. She told me to cancel the holiday, i had no choice inwas one day away from losing all the money and not just the deposit.

 

We got over that bump but then situations changed for us both and to make life easier we were to get a place together, i put the deposit down and she was to pay half. Again i saw her realise, she moves in here then she will not be able to move to the capital despite her telling me she doesnt want to at all. She told me to cancel the house. I lost the deposit.

 

It was this point i put 2+2 together, she was immature, didnt know what she wanted and was stringing me along while she kept all her options open. The arguments and the anger she was letting out i took as her not wanting to be with me. I loved her more than anything, i thought id loved in the past but i didnt, this was. At that point i bit the bullet, i didnt want to make her stay with me when she didnt want to, her heart wasnt in it and i invested everything i had to be with someone that was keeping me there as an option. I was devestated and id say it destroyed me emotionally but i walked away for her, i took my option off the table to help her make her decision because i knew deep down she didnt want to be there.

 

To be honest i cried about it, but for the month since i went no contact and felt like the whole time. All ive wanted to do is message her, call her, go to her house and see her. Ive broke up after 2 or 3 years before and just walked away not caring. People say surround yourself with mates, go and do something, improve yourself. I dont have that support though. I live the other side of the country to family and friends for work, i work on my own so i cant meet anybody new and make friends, i live and work in the middle of nowhere no social areas to get my self into, i dont even have a computer where i am, it is me in this room with a phone 24/7.

 

I went home saturday to see my friend for his birthday, being around everybody with their girlfriends all night in a club while i was playing about 23rd wheel not 3rd! I left and walking home i texted her. And she replyed but she was bitter in the replies, she was nasty and pointed with her messages, as if she was holding a grudge about me leaving her, she said i left her so i have to deal with it because its my fault ... as if this is a punishment to me. I explained drunkenly that i left her for her, i didnt want to go but i knew she didnt want me so she could go away but didnt want to leave me and lose that option. She said nobody does that, i started doubting myself then if i can or not do that.

 

But since then i felt awful, and i splurged no contact and looked at her twitter which was just full of one guy she worked with having that flirty banter that you do (this guy looks nothing on me and i can tell by the fact he works as a waiter he isnt anything compared to me either). That hurt enough but today looking through my whatsapp contacts to find someone, i looked through on friday and she was blocked off it (her doing). I looked today and she had unblocked me, and now im 100% confused. I feel sick thinking about this and her constantly, i feel lonely i feel lost without her, as if someone has torn a limb from me. I dont know what to do anymore.

[Clinton]

Couple of things. First, you dumped her so expecting sunshine and rainbows from her was kinda dumb.

 

Second, you dumped her for what you thought were valid reasons for you. So don't try the old I did it for her line, nobody buys that.

 

And while this guys looks aren't anything compared to yours and he works as a waiter, so what!?!? Maybe he's kind to her and has a better connection to her than you did.

 

You dumped her so don't screw with her. Leave her be.

[Ccottom]

1) i wasnt expecting sunshine and rainbows, but after 2 or 3 weeks her saying shes got over it, but getting rejected after you open yourself up

 

2) not valid reasons for me, it was the last thing i wanted and i still want the house and pets and future together, i couldnt be there with someone who didnt want to be there, it wasnt fair on either of us

 

3) this is the guy that on his first day on the job asked her to go back to his to bang her after he finished, this is a guy that would say sexual things to her and shed say she had a bf he said he didnt care, but work drinks after shift with the team have lead to them now on each other, when she was with me she would get angry and about how creepy this guy is so they definitely dont have a connection.

 

4) yes i walked away because i was sick of having my feelings played with, for example take her shopping only for her to get angry over something me like not being able to find her for her to storm home (train) then tell me to pick her up (30 minute drive) to take her to the cinema as was planned. I walked away but i loved her way to much and now i feel lost and empty

[Clinton]

I'm not buying it. Regardless though,the relationship was a train wreck for both of you. There's nothing positive for either of you in trying to continue it.

 

I get it hurts, I really do, but it sounds like it's for the best. Go NC, heal and find someone more suited.

[boltnrun]

Just a helpful hint, exes don't really respond well to the person who dumped them texting them after the breakup while drunk.

 

And, you ended the relationship, so it's not realistic to expect her to be happy to hear from you...drunk OR sober. No one likes being dumped no matter what the reasons are.

 

All the issues you had in the relationship won't magically go away just because you miss her. They're still valid. And I do have to wonder if you miss HER or if you're just lonely.

[Ms Darcy]

Well, it is important to feel lonely and lost without her. She was an important person and not a throwaway person. You have to grieve the loss of a special person and recognize she's out of your life now.

 

Perhaps in time you will find that it was actually for the best to part ways.

[Ccottom]

Yes im lonely here, but when i do see friends and family, when i talk to people on the phone all i can do is think about her and how im speaking to these people but what i really wanted was to just talk to her instead. I was so much more happier when i had her to talk to, i have group chats on my phone i get involved with but its not the same as having someone that you loved that you was speaking to.

 

And yes Clinton, it probably was for me that i walked away, but i did because it hurt me so much to know that she didnt want to be there with me and was pushing me away with all these arguments over nothing. So i took the hint and walked away, for my own safety before i spiralled into more hate and pain.

 

Ms Darcy, its hard to recognise that shes out of my life when she is just a phone call away, or just type her name into twitter or whatever and she pops up. It really was for the best to part ways but it still feels like i lost everything after i invested so much time energy and effort into being the one to have it all lost in one single moment.

[Capricorn3]

Couple of things. First, you dumped her so expecting sunshine and rainbows from her was kinda dumb.

 

Second, you dumped her for what you thought were valid reasons for you. So don't try the old I did it for her line, nobody buys that.

 

And while this guys looks aren't anything compared to yours and he works as a waiter, so what!?!? Maybe he's kind to her and has a better connection to her than you did.

 

You dumped her so don't screw with her. Leave her be.

This entire post is worth repeating. I agree, leave her be. What's done is done and she's not coming back.