Recurring dream of boyfriends ex girlfriend

[waterlilly102]

For the past 3 or 4 nights I have had these dreams mainly about my boyfriends ex. I have always been jealous of their past relationship for some reason. In the beginning of our relationship he would always talk about her. Usually not in a good way, but I knew he still had some feelings there for her. He broke up with her sept of 2013 (planning on getting back with her shortly after but she didn't take him back) and had been only been going out for a year, but she was his first love. He'd always say how he wanted her to see us together so she would get jealous or something like that. I saw he was talking to her nicely on Facebook for a couple months a little bit before we started dating. I even found a shoebox filled with letters and mementos of their relationship in his closet. He agreed to throw those away in the trash.

A lot of weird things involving his ex happened in the first few months we were dating. One being that he told me that his ex uploaded a picture of her and her bf on his Facebook account. I asked how and why, and he said "she's jealous of me and probably has my account info on her computer still". It seemed fishy to me. He was planning on going upstate to see her in college because I found a college dorm room address in the notes app on his phone from 2014 and also something about a gps phone tracker app which was weird because she's had a boyfriend since they broke up.

Anyway, he stopped talking about her and such for a long time. He hardly ever brings her up anymore and we have been together for almost a year now. I have been dreaming that he is always trying to help out his ex or flirt/talk to her. This sounds so weird to me, but I dreamt that he threw a birthday party for her (I was there) and in front of me he started hugging and flirting with her. Another dream I had was that his ex was in a bad place in her life with drugs, and he frantically tried helping her, going crazy worried about it. And one where he wanted to call me by his ex's name. I've had dreams similar to these but always recurring every night for the past 3 or 4 days. I don't know why as this has never happened, and he doesn't talk about her. I think it may be something to do with me and my jealousy or insecurities, because a small part of me still believes feelings are there. I think this is mainly my problem and my issue and I don't know how to get over it.

[DoF]

You can't control your dreams.

 

Stop dwelling them or even thinking about them. It's all irrelevant.

[overthemoon86]

Your subconscious is trying to tell you something that you haven't dealt with...your jealousy about the ex girlfriend. I also don't think your relationship started off on the right foot based on what you are saying here. So coupled with your insecurity/jealousy and your relationship, you are now dreaming about it.

 

I think you need to deal with the past. You either need to move on from it or you need to date someone who is not hung up on their ex. You will never be able to have a happy or healthy relationship if you aren't able to let go of what happened before you.

 

I think your dreams are just revealing how you feel.

[Clinton]

Are you attracted to the ex girlfriend sexually. Maybe that's why you're dreaming about her. I'm pretty sure that's what Freud would say.

[treesandbees]

Do you feel he still has a lot of feelings for her and that is why she is in your dreams.. If he could stop those thoughts do you think the dreams would stop or he can't do anything to help that out? He's been with you a year, her name shouldn't even pop out of his mouth anymore, rude on his part if it does and make sure you express your displeasure if he ever does bring her name up again if the thought of her/him bothers you.

[wes12]

It seems as though at the beginning of your relationship he was still into his ex, he still had feelings for her. Some people have a hard time getting over someone, and it is not right that he jumped into a relationship with you if he was not fully committed to only you. However, because he has not mentioned her recently it may be that he has finally started to get over his ex and is happy with you. You are probably concerned because you are unsure if he is just hiding the fact that he still likes his ex, even if his current actions show that he doesnt. Subconsciously you are worrying about your boyfriends feelings for his ex, and this is showing up in your dreams.