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Everything is going GREAT, except...


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Back in the middle of November, I met my boyfriend on tinder. We're both 18 and we live about over an hour with out traffic. Since I live in LA and he lives in Ventura, traffic can be really bad. It would take him sometimes up to 3 hours just to see me for the day.


My boyfriend and I would see eachother every weekend if we can. Last weekend I spent the weekend in Ventura with him and everything went well. Most of the time he drives out to see me. One time he drove a little over 3 hours just to see me for 45 minutes. I felt bad about him driving that long to see me, just for 45 minutes. He told me it was totally worth seeing me for just a little bit because he missed me so much. We havent even had sex either because we haven't gone all the way yet. I'm just not ready to lose my virginity yet and when I told him he was okay with it. He said he doesnt want to make me feel pressured at all and that he'll only want to do it if I know I want to for sure.


My boyfriend also seems extremely affectionate with me whenever we're together. We make eachother so happy that everything feels a little too perfect. When were not together, he contacts me about twice a day to check in with me and to see how I'm doing. And when we facetime, it lasts about 6 to 7 hours at a time. We even had to limit our facetime sessions a lot because we would stay up til 3 or 4 in the morning each time.


But the problem is I feel like something is wrong. I know this sounds strange but everything is going way too smoothly. Our relationship kind of feels like a movie and too good when we're together. But when we're apart I feel really insecure sometimes. When we were together last weekend something kind of weird happened.


When he was showing me around town, we passed by his friends playing basketball in the park. My boyfriend always talks about all of his friends and tells me all sorts of stories - good and bad. For example, this one long time friend named Josh has a lot of issues. Josh was dating a 16 year old junior in high school after he graduated. The relationship was terrible: fights always happened, there was always domestic violence, and a lot of cheating. My boyfriend told me everything about that situation and how it really bothered him. I asked him if I was ever going to meet Josh and he said that he doesn't think that I'll ever meet him. By the way, he told me this a couple of weeks before I came up for the weekend. Anyways, when we passed by his friends I asked him if we were going to stop by and say hi. He said he didn't want me to meet them because he said his friends would be total assh*les to me. I told him that I could handle it but he didn't want to introduce me still. Before I came up to see him he always told me how his friends could be major s to girls by messing with them. It was pretty much what they were known for in high school - all they did was roast people and play stupid pranks.


By the way, I asked him if his parents and friends know about me too. Both of his parents know about me and I he told me that his mom really wants to meet me sometime. Apparently his friends know about me, especially because my boyfriend is always gone on Saturdays to come and see me. So I don't really think he's hiding me.


I also realize that were in a long distance relationship and that we've only been together for 3 months (which is nothing). Sometimes I feel like he's trying to hide me from other people in his life. At the beginning of our relationship, he invited me to a work party. Most of his friends, including best friend and family friend, we're there. Unfortunately I couldn't go because I already had other commitments that night. That was the only time he invited me to a social event too.


Should I be worried in anyway? Again, I know it's only been 3 months in a long distance relationship. In every other relationship, I was introduced to both family and friends at the one month marker. But my new boyfriend doesnt even want me to even stop by and say hi to his friends.


Sorry this was so long, I just want the whole situation to be clear.


Also, I would talk to my boyfriend about this right now if I could. Unfortunately he got in a very bad car accident on Monday. He broke 4 ribs on his right side and he just checked out of the hospital for brain swelling. He made sure to find a way to message me to let me know what's going on even though his phone broke. I guess I just need to find a way to vent about it and talk about it without bothering him as he's recovering.


Thank you for the help!!

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Sounds like he is protecting you from his D-bag friends. He isn't ashamed of you, he is ashamed of his friends and doesn't want you to judge him by the company he keeps.


You are still in the infatuation stage so things seem perfect and that is perfectly normal. Don't worry so much but be true to yourself.


I hope he recovers soon and don't fret so much about meeting his friends. It will happen soon enough.



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I don't think you have anything to be insecure about. Sometimes people just get really nervous about introducing their so to their friends; I think he just wants to protect you if he thinks they'll be jerks to you.

Even though my new guy has done nothing wrong at all, I still feel insecure. In my last relationship that lasted a year and a half, my ex cheated on me (multiple times I'm sure). I'm just afraid of it happening again

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