What does this mean?

[Phoenix Down]

Lets say I met this girl who was all into country and even had a nick name "Dixie", then one day after we dated for a while she transformed into someone who loves everything I do, like she droped the whole country thing and went all asian and european as far as clothing and intrests (where I'm from, and lifestyle). Then after a while we split up and she becomes some one completely different aggain, like she's a shape shifter for who ever she's around. What is this called? If theres even a name. It's like the person in qustion molds to her enviorment. Is this an insecurity issue or just not knowing what she wants? It makes it hard to judge who she is. (yes I'm speaking of the ex) I'm just trying to understand, it's helped to get over her b/c it's like the girl I fell in love with at one time is dead. It's hard to miss what was never there if you get me. I saw her best friend at the store last night and I asked how everything was going, she said she's not sure, it's like my ex is a completely different person and woulden't you know it, she blames me. (the ex, not her friend) I took a human beheavor corse a while ago and her friend asked if I'd ever herd of it. All I can think of is she's still young and doesn't know who she is yet, but she says it's deeper than that. (now I'm kinda glad I got away, but is there a condition for this or is it she's just young? I have no clue, but I told her I'd look into it. Any ideas? Thanks

[chai714]

So, you're saying she's like a chameleon then huh. What does this mean? One, she can adjust to her environment or group of friends. This can be a very good thing when it comes to seduction - something she may be very good at.

 

Looking at it from your perspective, you see this as a negative trait. That, it can be too if you're looking at it from the point of view that she is easily influenced by others. I call someone who is easily influenced by others, weak-minded. From what I gathered though, she's not participating in anything illegal and her behavior has not changed, just her clothing. Don't judge a book by it's cover. It's a lot easier for people to change their clothes than who they are. Deep ingrained in all of us is how we were raised. It's very very difficult to change this.

 

As far as her dressing like her peers - that's something all humans do. We do it because it gives us a sense of belonginess. This is why teams wear the same color uniforms, sales reps wear ties, etc. It's human nature, and makes us feel like we're part of something.

[Meow18]

I think she wants people to like her so much that she will change who she is just to get it. It's not good to do. People should be who they are and want to be accepted for that.

 

I don't know if there is a name for it, but I would say that she is insecure. If she was secure, she would be secure with being who she wanted, not what she thought everyone around her wanted.

[Phoenix Down]

The girl made it sound like it was deeper than just clothing and whats on the surface, thats all I've noticed, I haven't really hung around her to understand quite what she means. She's very smart tho, not sure you can fake that. I don't know what to tell her then. Every ones got their way I guess. She's just young I think and hasn't found her place yet. That would be my guess, is there no condition for this? Oh, and yes the sex was some of the best, still alittle shy on somethings, but I'm sure she'll learn more. I almost hate to say it, but I am a guy, it'd be fun to maybe meet up with her 4 or 5 years down the road to see what she's learned. Thanks

[cooldude1234]

definitely a follower. My friend's girlfriend is like this. Needless to say, she is quite mindless.

 

I have found that people like this lack a true passion or interest for anything. Trend to trend to trend, definitely not my style.

[Phoenix Down]

Well, I guess I dont really know, but she was a good person, I only hope for her sake she finds her place in life and finds happiness. When I think of her now all I see is this little girl trying so hard to "dig herself out of a hole". Needless to say the hole will only get deeper and deeper n-till she finds other means. Thanks man, try and talk to your girl and see if you can help her punch through this mindset. Everyone should be "who they are", not what others expect. This world gets more and more crazy with every day that passes.

[sisterlynch]

You asked what she is doing, not having much of a self identity. She may have grown up with low self esteem, and she gains self esteem by being in relationships with guys that have a strong sense of self. This gives her confidence, direction, self esteem, self worth.

 

I would call it dependent personality or codependent personality. If she is unhappy, then a few rings to the therapist may be in order. If she is fine, and seems happy in other ways, she is probably ok in general.

[Phoenix Down]

She's such a good person, I hope she finds herself and someone who makes her happy. I had the chance but the time'n was very wrong. But oh well, life is a lesson, just make sure you learn.