shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 how in the hell can i get over her? last night i let my ex gf stay over night at my place. she slept in my bed and i slept on my couch. this mourning when she woke up she came over to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss and held onto me for like five minutes. she whispered in my ear and said you know i still care about you alot. i didn't say anything back to her, i really wanted to but i know i can't go down that same road again, i know she no good for me but yet i still have feelings for her. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Some women have a mysterious power over us dude. We cant move on while they are still in the picture, especially when they play mind games and make it like there is a chance of getting back together. My EX tells me a couple weeks ago, she doesnt want a relationship where we spend the nite over each others house, etc... then a few days later she stays the nite 2 nites in a row........ What is that? Problem is, I have moved on from her once last year, I dont want to let go this time, even though everyone tells me she is no good, find someone else, etc.... You really need to break clean from her if you are serious about moving on, its hard, but it is the best way NC..... Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 that's the problem, i want her but yet i don't want the heartache that she has caused me. do you know how many times i stayed awake thinking about her and thinking damn i wish i could hold her again. and this mourning it felt great but in the back of my mind i knew i needed to let her go. Link to comment
master philanderer Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Trust me on this. If she doesn't want to be with you, let her go NOW! It's extremely difficult to fix a broken relationship. I'm not sure how old you are, but you will be better served by moving on and finding the next dime chick. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 I hear ya man. I fall asleep and have been waking up every morn about 3am, and she is on my mind..... Its nutz. My head keeps thinking about her, and my heart does too, but you are absolutely right, the heartache they bring to us..... is it worth it?? If they have changed that is one thing, sounds like yours hasnt either..... I dont know that its not that they dont want to be with us, as it is they are unsure of what they want, or afraid of getting hurt again, etc.... Now, its a different story if you know for a fact its over, but when you still have feelings for someone, and they have some kind of feelings for you still, its easy for them to yank our chains..... Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 i think she uses me to fall back on when she doesn't have anybody else. knowing this, i try to stay on guard but deep down i care about her alot. we are only in our 20"s. We met our last year in highschool and i was the first guy that she ever went out with. i think she was feeling a little tied down and we started our first year of college and well....there are alot of guys in college that were giving her alot of attention and she hooked up with one of them. Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 dudes, this brings me to another ? could you ever forgive your girl if she was with another guy? am i a idiot? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Well you have to look at the context of what she said. Yes she did say that she cared about you but at the same time it wasnt specific. Since this statement was so vague, I dont believe that you should focus on it since you have no idea in what context she meant it. About the forgive question, it is going to depend if you want this girl back. Is it possible to forgive her, yes it is. The real question you need to ask is if you forgive her what is it going to accomplish. Getting an ex back can be tricky, and people have to do what it takes in order to get what you want. I cant say that you are an idiot for doing what you did. You are simply acting like a guy who still has feelings for his ex. Now it would be best if you exhibited a better strategy towards the situation with you ex and it wouldnt make you feel like an idiot. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 u can forgive, but never forget. no, you arent an idiot. ive been on both sides, the cheater and the cheated... Its no fun on either side honestly. My best advice is, you learn from your mistakes, and we ALL make mistakes, understand why they cheated, was it because we werent there for them, got into a fight mode for several weeks, they felt lonely, got drunk, etc.... So, in your next relationship, it doesnt happen again, or if you get back together... Nowadays, it happens more and more. Hell, people get married knowing its not a life time commitment for them. My EX is 22, and I admit she has issues with herself. When we are together we laugh, and have a great time together, and all that. But we both lost the trust for one another right now, and that is tough to overcome, but it can be overcome. I know it sounds stupid, but I would rather own a stray dog, then one I bought in a pet shop. Strays have been around, and when they get over being afraid, they are the best pets in the world..... Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 i agree with you daywalker, but to some extent love is crazy. and were all human and make mistakes. it is what we do with our mistakes that makes us a good person. so i ask myself am i so much of a bastard that i cannot forgive her for her wrong doings? or am i a fool in love? Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 vhshowndown, what you said wasn't stupid at all it made alot of sense to me. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 i agree with you daywalker, but to some extent love is crazy. and were all human and make mistakes. it is what we do with our mistakes that makes us a good person. so i ask myself am i so much of a bastard that i cannot forgive her for her wrong doings? or am i a fool in love? One thing you need to know though, if you ever do get back together, DO NOT THROW IN HER FACE EVERYTIME YOU HAVE A FIGHT, etc... Discuss it, put it behind you and leave it there.....Right now you are hurting and are angry, once that fades, I think you can forgive her... Link to comment
mt_joy Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Take things slowly. Love is crazy and makes you act stupid. If you do want to get back together, fix any problems before beginning a relationship. If you don't, then why do you even keep her in your life? Just let her go. Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 i'm afraid to let her go, that would mean giving up on something good that i once had. but i can't get over the fact that she cheated, not yet anyways. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 i'm afraid to let her go, that would mean giving up on something good that i once had. but i can't get over the fact that she cheated, not yet anyways. I think alot of people would agree with ya. I know that is my problem. Now we are at NC again, and it gets pretty hard to deal with some days... If you have a chance to get back with her, and that is what you want, then do it. I would jump at the chance if I could the way I am feeling. Just understand people make mistakes... Link to comment
shiminimo Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 vhshowdown, that was exactly how i was thinking, i use to think about what is what like to hold her all the time, i got my chance and i froze. by the way good luck to you also, i value your replies. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 vhshowdown, that was exactly how i was thinking, i use to think about what is what like to hold her all the time, i got my chance and i froze. by the way good luck to you also, i value your replies. Thanks man. Let us know what happens, and what works, etc.... Link to comment
nexus532 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 time to throw out the trash and go to the store. Thats all i have to say. Link to comment
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