Devastated - my child is not mine.

[justaguy70]

You sound like an amazing man, and that little girl is very lucky to have you in her life.

Keep doing exactly what you are doing!!

 

Thank you. I'm so down. I need to move past this. I know I will.

[lukeb]

Thank you. I'm so down. I need to move past this. I know I will.

 

This has probably been said before, but you definitely need to look into the legal ramifications, I actually don't know what they are. Some of it depends on where you live. It would have made a difference if the child had been born in wedlock, from your post it doesn't sound like it is.

 

So don't keep doing what you are doing and think that just because you're paying child support that it is sort of ties into your rights. Child support is more tied into what is best for the child, same with visitation rights, they are not really your rights, the intent is what is best for the child. If visitation is deemed what is best for the child then they can continue, but this is totally up to the courts.

 

You may think you have moral standing, and I think you do, but I wouldn't assume you have legal standing.

[justaguy70]

This has probably been said before, but you definitely need to look into the legal ramifications, I actually don't know what they are. Some of it depends on where you live. It would have made a difference if the child had been born in wedlock, from your post it doesn't sound like it is.

 

So don't keep doing what you are doing and think that just because you're paying child support that it is sort of ties into your rights. Child support is more tied into what is best for the child, same with visitation rights, they are not really your rights, the intent is what is best for the child. If visitation is deemed what is best for the child then they can continue, but this is totally up to the courts.

 

You may think you have moral standing, and I think you do, but I wouldn't assume you have legal standing.

 

I have a lawyer. I will speak with her. I have done some research tonight, and it would be very difficult for her to "take" her from me. I'm her dad. But yes, I appreciate the comment and thank you.

I just found this out today. At the moment, I'm just letting it sink in. My baby girl is asleep and happy as she should be. I'm thinking about all the scenarios.

 

I will contact my lawyer tomorrow or Friday, but I feel there is not a judge in the world that would take this child from me. I have too much to offer.

Her mom is a misfit. I'm stable. maybe not this very second but otherwise, I'm stable and have a lot to offer my children. And I will. And if it came down to a fight. Well.

 

I'll win.

[thejigsup]

The only way you could "lose" her is if her bio father came back into the picture and wanted her. The courts would take the transition, if he passed muster with them, very slowly. You wouldn't lose her, she would just have two loving fathers. I would bet any amount of money your daughter's bio father has no idea he has a daughter. This woman is a piece of work.

[lukeb]

The only way you could "lose" her is if her bio father came back into the picture and wanted her. The courts would take the transition, if he passed muster with them, very slowly. You wouldn't lose her, she would just have two loving fathers. I would bet any amount of money your daughter's bio father has no idea he has a daughter. This woman is a piece of work.

 

I'm not sure if that is true at all, but the OP is having it looked into with a lawyer, which is a smart thing. I am actually thinking he doesn't "have" her. The only thing he has is he has paid child support under false pretenses. I doubt that is all that much legally to stand on.

 

What does it say on the birth certificate? Is this child support order court ordered? Are they living together now as a couple? Common-law? These are all things we don't know. Personally, although it might be easy for me to say, I wouldn't pay another nickel in child support unless I had the option to legally adopt her as a co-parent. I would have almost zero confidence in the court system when it comes to men's parental rights, especially as it now turns out he isn't even the biological father.

[justaguy70]

I'm not sure if that is true at all, but the OP is having it looked into with a lawyer, which is a smart thing. I am actually thinking he doesn't "have" her. The only thing he has is he has paid child support under false pretenses. I doubt that is all that much legally to stand on.

 

What does it say on the birth certificate? Is this child support order court ordered? Are they living together now as a couple? Common-law? These are all things we don't know. Personally, although it might be easy for me to say, I wouldn't pay another nickel in child support unless I had the option to legally adopt her as a co-parent. I would have almost zero confidence in the court system when it comes to men's parental rights, especially as it now turns out he isn't even the biological father.

 

I signed the birth certificate.

We were never married. Common law.

I have a very good lawyer. Like, very good.

This was post was never meant to ask for legal advice.

Thank you all very much for your advice.