Crazy sets the agenda

[jimthzz]

During the worst of my ex-wife's cheating, I could not comprehend her excuses for her behavior. She was emphatic about a lot of "facts" about how terrible I was and how what she was up to was , indeed, not cheating, but going to the YMCA to work out, etc.

 

One day, I blurted out that it is not fair that "Crazy gets to set the agenda."

 

What I meant by that is that a loved one is being disloyal, there is nothing you can say to them to get the truth or to stop their crappy behavior. So, essentially, their crazy thinking decides life for everyone involved.

 

Until you stop accepting their rules of engagement.

 

When you line in the sand them and actively pursue a divorce? Oh, you should see the blow up? See, a deceitful person things they can do whatever they want without consequence. Partly because their crazy attitude has been setting the agenda. Once they don't have that power? Anger and outrage that you won't take their crap anymore.

 

It was unnerving to my ex-wife when she could no longer successfully spin the story. Then the tears start up and her trying to tell me she only did what she did because she always loved me!

 

Hawhaaat? Say again?

 

I no longer let crazy set the agenda.

[ParisPaulette]

I love the title of your post and good on you for no longer letting crazy set the agenda. And I couldn't agree more.

 

I wish more people would realize you do not have to let crazy or disloyal or gaslighting (fill in description) set the agenda, because your agenda counts too as half of a couple. (Laughs) I do love this phrase though, so perfect for the situation.