My ex is now dating my ex

[babyface]

This is a crazy situation by I need to vent. My ex girlfriend was a very loving, caring, hard working woman and we planned our future together and I was going to propose to her MAY 05, but July 20, 2004, 2 days after we celebrated our 4 year anniversary we decided that we would step back so that she could get herself together and bring as much to the table as I was. Well the next day she was picked up by someone from my past that had disrespected me, like my girl and who my girl was attracted to. This person was someone that I was in a relationship for a year,but it didn't work and I broke up with her.

 

It hurt me to know that all the time that I was trying to compromise as far as them being friends that my girl of 4 years probably was cheating on me. I found out after the break up that they were talking on the phone all day and at odd times of morning. My ex of four yrs has been spending the night, taking trips and having sex with her and I told her that there is no way that we will ever get back together b/c she played me w/ someone that I had been with.

 

I have moved out and am buying a house and I have progressed in my career, I still see her out at the clubs and arm and arm with my previous ex but she plays it off like they are not in a relationship and that she just needed a break from being in a relationship but to me she's acting like she is in one. She's not the same woman that I once loved and she hurt me....I do miss her but I don't want to ever talk to her or see her again. She has told people that we will get back together. There are times when I want to understand why she did this and then there are times when I really don't care and I wish that Karma would come now.

 

She wants to be friends and call me and talk to me but I figure that she has lied, cheated and disrespected me to be where she is so she needs to go ahead and leave me alone. I just don't understand why she won't just leave me alone and forget that I ever existed, it would make things alot easier. What is it that she is thinking? Or is she not thinking at all?

[sayer7]

Guilt makes people clingy and people who feel guilty always want to try to smooth things over with the person they hurt. Like a person with a conscience who is relatively humane and sweet and caring (like you said she was once upon a time) wouldn't hurt another person's dog and then not feel like they should help pay for the medical bills.... in the same light, she knows she hurt your heart and by being clingy she's hoping to help with the "medical costs" but is only causing more damages. Afterall, no one but the person with the broken heart can fix it- and most people with broken hearts don't even know how to fix one except to give themselves time, space to heal, and patience.

 

I'm pretty sure she knows what she did was wrong and that she should've just been upright and honest about it and now she's trying to make things ok again. I think she cares about you and wishes she hadn't hurt you and would do anything in her power to try to make things right again--- however futile it is in reality cause after you've hurt someone as deeply as you've been hurt by her, it's definitely hard to try to make things "OK" again.

 

I would tell her you need some time and space to heal and that maybe someday in the future you will contact her and you can be friends again.... or something a long those lines. The point is to take some time for yourself and do what you need to to heal.

 

Sorry all that happened to you....you have my sympathies.

[GaveTooMuch]

maybe I'm focusing on the wrong point but I know what it's like to be dumped or taken a break from becaus eyour partner feels like you're not contributing enough financially. It really hurts and suckthat everything else is great but then you let money get in the way. Why not stand by each other and help one another to achieve more instead of just leaving or calling a break. I know that money isn't everything, but it does make things easier. The point is it really hurts when you give so much to someone and given them everything else and it seems like money is the only thing that matters to thenm and everyhting else you did was worth nothing... who knows maybe I'm just venting about my own experiences. Just something to think about. Maybe she feels like she found someone who likes her for her and not what she can give them. If she's happier there then let her be.. you should find what makes you happy.

[babyface]

Gavetoomuch, you missed the whole point, money wasn't the issue. Her dating my ex and me wanting her to leave me alone is the issue.

[mgirl]

Er, sounds like she has no class! Welcome to the world of desperate lesbians, desperate for affection!

 

The same thing has happened to me and i will not be bothered with those people either, but they still keep hanging around my life.

 

It sounds like you have risen above it and at least you have your career and are buying a house. Oh yeah, and you have your self respect.

 

Why are gay people are so insecure? And what ever happened to an old fashioned, honest relationship?

 

Bah humbug!

 

Just hold out for the right girl. We are not all insecure scene queens you know!

 

The most important thing you can have is your self-respect and you have it, so dont' worry. No contest.

 

Oh yeah, i was going to say, if you want them to stop talking to you etc., you may have to stay away from gay nightclubs. They are breeding grounds for contempt and are full of insecure people who are too afraid to express their sexuality in the real world.