Just need to get it out

[adviceplease2]

I know no one cares, at least it seems that way at this point. I've posted on here a few times, my story is in here somewhere. Pregnant girlfriend dumped me after everything seemed ok, she got distant, etc etc. I haven't talked to her in a while now, after she'd showed up at my little girls birthday party....I don't know what's happened, but today I woke up and its all killing me.

 

I have custody of my kids from a divorce, the mornings getting them ready are getting harder for some reason....the evenings I can't relax.

 

My ex girlfriend was introduced to me by my cousin, who she was friends with....our kids all go to the same school, it was a good match. Was even better once we started seeing one another. But by Christmas, I'd realized she changed. My cousin was telling me things my ex had supposedly said to her, my ex was pretty distant with me. I attempted to talk to her about what was going on and you'd thought I'd stepped on a hornets nest, I got everything from "you didn't want this baby" "her life is turned upside down," her telling me my part is done.....to a few days later when she ended our relationship telling me I was seeing everything from my perspective, she felt terrible all the time because of the pregnancy, she was so condescending telling me she was sorry she'd ever even talked me, to being filled with anxiety at even thinking about seeing me and my kids.

 

The only thing I ever got a little upset over was when I'd tried to visit her....she was supposedly sleeping all the time, not feeling great with the pregnancy....and we'd planned on seeing each other and when the time came she just turned to ice. That got it started I guess. When I told her I'd leave it up to her and to text when she felt better....well, that wasn't right either. This was after she jumped on me for apparently not texting her first frequently enough....and basically kept asking how she was, how she was feeling, if I could bring her anything, or if she needed anything....yeah, she jumped on me for that too....to which I finally smarted off to her for the first time and told her when she felt like talking to me like an adult she could.

 

Anyway...I'm now finding out my cousin has stirred the pot so to speak. I've cut my cousin off, so she's now saying my pregnant ex is now seeing someone from her work. So when I confront my cousin, she says she doesn't know for sure, my ex might be. It was all stirring the pot. I made the mistake of trying to give money to my ex for her deductible for the pregnancy, via my cousin....well...my cousin made up a story about giving the money to her and how cold she was and how entitled she seemed to the money....well I talked to my ex about it later and it never happened so my ex had been upset about money we'd discussed. Its all paid up now.

 

I've struggled with having full custody, having to get supervised visitation for their mother....having to be the mom and dad...and I'm struggling so much this morning, sitting at my desk at work trying to maintain my composure. Haven't talked to my ex in over a week, after paying off that deductible. She may or may not be seeing someone else, can't worry about it anymore. She did give me so much happiness, she felt like part of the family, her little girl had gotten used to me and loved being like sisters with my little girl.

 

My kids deserve a happy family...they deserve to see how a man should treat a woman, how a man and woman should interact.....they deserve more than me, I'm failing them....can't be strong for them like I have been....can't handle much more than what I've got going on now....just want things like Friday night movie night, kids there, woman snuggled up to me....just want peace...want the kids to have a complete family....want to love and be loved in return and not have it turned off from one day to the next....just want the simple things in life, why are they so hard to have.

 

Sorry for the rant....just not strong today....feel so lost and alone.

[mhowe]

Why is your cousin involved in this at all?

[adviceplease2]

She was the one that set us up, they'd known each other. When my ex gave me the old, I wish I'd never met you line, I made the mistake of taking it personally and making sure she didn't have to bother seeing me, so I asked my cousin to give her the money because they'd run into each other at the school.

 

Yes, I'm stupid.

[adviceplease2]

And to top that off....ex just text me out of the blue to let me know when the ultrasound is for determining the babies gender....two weeks in advance. Hope that means I'm allowed to be there, I'd like to go to that.

[Clinton]

I know it sucks but you have existing children you need to be strong for now, not one in the oven. Your romantic relationship with her is done. You need to accept that and grieve the loss. Keep contact with her down to child related matters. After the baby arrives you'll need to work out a visitation schedule.

 

You have rights as the father of the child. Make sure you exercise them when the time comes. Aside from that, not much to do. If you want to, and can handle it emotionally, be there for the pregnancy when it requires it. But don't look at it as an opportunity to rekindle because that part of the relationship is dead.