Ex's problems

[coyne740]

Ok,

I posted on here a long time ago when my ex and I broke up the first time (August of 2003). After a month or so of NC, we got back together. We moved in together in May of 2004 and things seemed great for awhile. Recently, I realized I just wasn't happy and we broke up three weeks ago. I was fine until last week I learned that she was dating a guy that her and her new roommate had move in to our old house. She said they were dating and when I mentioned this to a mutual friend, the mutual friend spread it around our college campus. My ex suddenly called me and flipped out on me Wednesday for trying to ruin her new relationship. I apologized and said I was not trying to ruin her life and that I was quite happy where I was at.

 

Until I learned that this guy is not her type at all. He is the complete opposite of me (does lots of drugs, I quit when I started dating her), he is into a lot of hip-hop, where I am a country boy and she is a country girl. She says she is so happy with him and being with him caused her not to love me anymore. Well, I do still love her and want to talk once in awhile, but I do not know if I want her or not. I know that our relationship was not stable enough, and that love is not all you need. But the thought of her with someone else kills me, especially so fast. How can I stop thinking of her not loving me anymore and her moving on so quickly?

[DN]

This is not an untypical reaction and comes from "Hey, wait a minute, she was supposed to be in love with me and although I broke up with her, how come she doesn't still love me, and pine for me, and why isn't she heartbroken for a while, like at least for ever!!!"

 

It's mostly your ego talking, so get it under control. You broke up with her, your job now is to take the high road and wish her happiness without you. Who she is with and what he is like is not your concern, she is a big girl and can make her own choices.

[coyne740]

so, you think it's just ego and that if she calls me (we have done this a few times) I should not take her back because I will just be back in the same situation again?

[DN]

Only you can know that for sure. You broke up with her for a reason - if it was a reason that would be unlikely to change if you got back together then what is the point of getting back together?

 

Decide whether the fact that she is dating someone else caused you concern is either:

 

you realise you made a mistake and want her back

 

or

 

it is merely ego and you should move on.

 

If the former you have a problem because she is now in a new relationship and it seems she is happy with it. Be careful that you do not break up her new relationship only to find you were right to have broken up with her and really mess her up.

 

If it is ego, get over it and move on.

[winkie]

Wow, all I can say is that she moved on because she was hurt and she may be the type of person that always needs somebody and she maybe with someone oppostie than her knowing that it will not go anywhere becuase she may not want it to...thereforeeee she will not get hurt by someone if she really knows they are not for her. The only reason why you are upset and you said is becasue she is with someone else....and if she says that she does not love you well she is just trying to hurt you no one can make you fall out of love with someone you truly loved, only time can do that. I think you need to stay away from her I do not believe in recycling romance ever and honestly that was you first mistake.

[coyne740]

I can't break up their relationship because, well, she told me she would never leave this guy for me. So, looks like I just will have to get over it. Thanks for the help though

[DN]

I do not believe in recycling romance ever.

 

Abraham Lincoln failed to turn up to his wedding to Mary Todd - but some years later they were married!!