What do I do??

[Madman1373]

My girlfriend left me over a month ago and it has been a rough ride..... my biggest mistake of it is that I tried so hard to get her back. I love her more than anyone I've met and I just can't do it with anyone else but her. I've made mistakes in trying to get her back because of my mind being clouded and my decisions crippled...now she says I lost her trust because of me trying to get her back and she doesn't want to be with me...... cutting the losses has something that has been impossible and I can't convince her to come back. What the heck do I do??!? I just want my bailey back.....

[skern]

You need to work on re-finding yourself and who you are as a man. I understand the heartbreak you are feeling and can feel the overwhelming sorrow that is making you feel like anything else is possible in this world. But you need to talk to someone, an advisor (bit.ly/1naemxr), a friend, a family member who you feel you can be open enough to really share your fears, feelings, sorrows in order for them to help you rebuild a world in which you will feel at peace and ready for love again. Don't focus on just "cutting your loss", what you need is to address it and heal from it.

 

Please know you will get through this, but the difference between you lingering in sorrow for a long time or starting to feel as if you are digging yourself out of the quicksand of depression you feel you are being sucked in is getting help from someone.

 

[zachtap96]

I hate to break it to you, but begging/pleading is not the way to go. I've done that in past relationships before, and it only causes more harm than good; I'm sorry.

 

However, there is still hope for you yet. I know what you're going through, bud, trust me. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks before. In this specific situation, the absolute number one thing you should do is stop texting her; delete her on social media and delete pictures you have saved of her if you have to. Do anything and everything you can to erase her from your mind. Live your life, find a hobby, and be happy.

 

With BOTH of my exes, I begged and pleaded for them to reconsider their decision, but they refused. After a few weeks of getting over the loss, I immediately stopped texting them and tried my best to go on with my life. Only a few weeks after each relationship ended, THEY were the ones to text me and say what's up. Believe it or not, no matter how much someone has hurt you or devastated you, they still care about you; whether that be in a "I made a mistake. I miss you," or a "I still really care about you and want to be friends," kind of way.

[tonstar89]

Acceptance is the key to having peace. how do you accept what happened? Stop texting her, stop talking about her, and most important replace your thoughts of her with something new and believe me you will have to do this a million times sometimes.

[reinventmyself]

It becomes a conscious choice.

You decide you are no longer going to view your emotions as something outside of yourself but something you can choose to control.

No, it doesn't happen overnight and it takes work and time.

 

Also, try to find comfort in the fact that just about everyone has been through the exact same thing and we've all come out the other side and often able to find love again.

You will too.

Hang in there

[Movingforward3]

The hardest thing to do is let go. Loving someone who doesn't want you anymore is tough. I can tell you that begging and pleading and figuring out ways to get her back will only push her away more.

 

I know it isn't what you want to hear. You want to hear about 30 days to get your ex back or some thing you can try to get her to remember.

 

I wish it existed. But, it doesn't. All you can do is to do what she asks. Let her go. Let her be alone. Let her do her thing. She will tell you if she want to come back.

 

You have to focus on you. Live your life. Eat healthy and exercise. Get a hobby or two. Work. Spend time with family and friends. Be selfish with your heart and do what you want.

 

You don't have to let her go all at once. It can be a gradual thing. You accept there are both positive and negative outcomes to this situation. It won't be fixed over night and it may not be fixed in a month. But, it gets easier. It is all about your perspective. How you choose how to perceive what is happening.

 

I am sorry for your pain. Remember, your destruction and suffering isn't part of this deal.

[Madman1373]

Thanks guys...she has admitted that I pushed over the edge trying to talk to her and get her back.... and she isn't the the most subtle and humble person about it. The only thing I need to figure out is if she still feels for me and I need the offical answer.

 

I do still believe she does because last week she was talking about how much she dreams about me and wants to kiss me. And she still talks to me openly..... I need to get back with her quick though..if notwe would've wasted too much time before I leave my hometown and go to my college. Doesn't help that she has every guy in the entire state chasing after her now.