I kiss my boyfriend and remember my ex....

[Losted32flower]

I didn't start to do things sexually with guys until my last boyfriend which was a few months ago. We've had nc, since we both thought it would be better for us. He moved on a long time ago, and I thought I did too but its been a lot harder for me. I guess I've been holding back thinking maybe he'd come back or something. I only cried about him twice ... sometimes I miss him but not to the point where I'll drop what i'm doing and sulk over him. I guess I need some advice now. I'm with someone else right now and we both find each other attractive but it's hard for me to get physical with him. Whenever we start kissing, I instantly remember my ex and kissing him and so I pull away. He was my first for a lot of things so I guess I relate my actions now to what we did... and since it's not intentional, I don't know how to get myself to stop remembering the past. Maybe I'm not COMPLETELY over him or maybe I just need time but it's also not fair for me to wait around and just let things happen... if anyone has any feedback or stories please reply ..

 

#-o

 

thanks

[Bad_Disease]

Why wouldn't it be fair for you to wait until you are completely comfortable? If the new guy doesn't respect your need to take things slow, then he isn't a good guy. Talk to him about it.

[PAdreamer]

I often remember my ex and things we did. Usually not right when I'm with my fiance... but when I'm thinking about him... or I'm in a romantic mood, my ex will pop up. At first I was really mad at myself for letting him enter my thoughts when I wanted to bebthinking about my current man instead. I thought I was a bad partner. But then I realized that basically my mind is just comparing the two guys. I told my fiance about my ex entering my thoughts and how I'd felt about it... And then I told him that after thinking about it a while, it didn't bother me so much. Because even though my ex would enter my thoughts when I was thinking romantic things, I realized that the things I enjoy with my current guy were never enjoyable with my ex. I don't know if that makes sense...

[Leges39]

This is tough. i am going through this as well.. i was with someone new last night and we have hung out for the past couple of weeks and she is very kind and all about me, like the ex was....but as we were laying down and sleeping, i woke and said my ex's name...i don't know if she heard, but if she did, she isn't saying anything. also, i have had problems going all the way...i can't release!!!! if you know what i mean....is it because i am not as attracted as i was to my ex (who really and always did it for me) or is it because we are new and unfamiliar...?

[Phoenix Down]

Take all the time you need, dude should understand. If not, tell him you need time to lick your wounds. How does your ex feel? Do you want him back?