isaacsaysno Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Is anybody else on here struggling with religion and sexuality? I realize Christianity can often be hostile (condescending at best) toward gay members. I was raised Catholic and my family is very very conservative. They are also very involved in their local church. I don't go to church anymore, but would kind of like to find a way to connect with Christian lesbians. It would be nice to find a community that has some of my roots as well as being really accepting of homosexuality. I've tried going the rejecting religion altogether route, and I'm just not happy. I'm struggling to find any kind of a community at all. I did go to some local LGBT meetings, but they are mostly support groups for people who feel rejected for being gay. Which would seem appropriate for me, except that I'm not really into the "misery loves company" thing. It doesn't feel helpful to be surrounded by people who are insecure and struggling to like themselves. I'd rather find a group of people who are comfortable with who they are and can therefore help me to be more like that. Any ideas? Link to comment
Moontiger Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Hi Isaac, First I'm sorry that you are struggling. Second, ENA might not be the right forum for your question, we are not allowed to have religious debates. This website might help you and this article in particular: Link to comment
j.man Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm not a Christian but my girlfriend is. She goes to the church out on Riverside that's a part of the United Church of Christ. They have gay clergymen and clergywomen and have a pretty good record of supporting gay rights, including marriage. Not sure if there's a branch near you, but it could be worth looking into. But, depending where you are, you may unfortunately be SOL on that option and others unless you're willing to start your own initiative. If you think it's safe enough where you are and you can't find an alternative, you could try Meetup or Craigslist. You'd be opening yourself up to a lot of hate, though, as I'm sure you know better than me. Link to comment
DoF Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Stay away from religious people, they are not in touch with reality. Just me. Community you said? good luck on that. I think you need to look deeper within yourself and figure out what it is that drives you towards "herd" or "group of people". I used to find that appealing when I was younger, now days, I find it quite unappealing. But that's after I experienced "herd" or "groups" of people many time over....... What I've learned is whenever you add more people, you add more complexity and less closer connection to people. The most closest connections and most valuable time I've had with people is when it was one on one. The second you add 3rd or more people, it seems to prevent these deeper/quality connections that I value! Noticed this with best friends! I always loved the close friendships I had, but it was only with 1 person. Second there were more friends/people involved.....it just wasn't as good (to me). More people = more problems. I've also confirmed above with my family. We have 4 kids and in group setting, connection is just not there/possible. Second you are one on one with the child, they cherish it/value it WAY more. One can say "quality" over "quantity". I believe it. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Stay away from religious people, they are not in touch with reality. Just me.Community you said? good luck on that. I think you need to look deeper within yourself and figure out what it is that drives you towards "herd" or "group of people". I used to find that appealing when I was younger, now days, I find it quite unappealing. But that's after I experienced "herd" or "groups" of people many time over....... What I've learned is whenever you add more people, you add more complexity and less closer connection to people. The most closest connections and most valuable time I've had with people is when it was one on one. The second you add 3rd or more people, it seems to prevent these deeper/quality connections that I value! Noticed this with best friends! I always loved the close friendships I had, but it was only with 1 person. Second there were more friends/people involved.....it just wasn't as good (to me). More people = more problems. I've also confirmed above with my family. We have 4 kids and in group setting, connection is just not there/possible. Second you are one on one with the child, they cherish it/value it WAY more. One can say "quality" over "quantity". I believe it. They aren't all bad.. you cant just group people together... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 They aren't all bad.. you cant just group people together... Thank you. OP, I hope you find the sense of belonging that you want. I hope my cousin finds that in society one day too. She has that in her family but society is a different kettle a lot of the time. Link to comment
CJ88 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Hi isaacsaysno, I'm a lesbian and I was also raised Catholic. I still attend church on a regular basis. Over the years I have found it very difficult to reconcile what was taught to me, and the way I am, today. I have found two things helpful in this, although I cannot promise they will be just as helpful for you. I agree with Moontiger when she says this is not a forum for religious debate, and so I will keep those thoughts brief. I also agree with j.man in that Meetup is a great social tool to help you find like-minded people. 1. The anxiety I feel about my religion and my lifestyle are always in conflict. However, no one is perfect and you cannot satisfy everyone, especially not the entirety of the church. Focus on your deepest beliefs and how you live them each day. Your religion is about your relationship with your religion and the way you live your relationships with others (brothers, strangers, lovers). Keep these two tasks in mind, and I think the hate from others will fall less on your shoulders. You cannot control how others feel, but you can show them by your example exactly the type of person you are, and this is what counts most. 2. Believe in yourself, too. I have had great difficulty trying to place myself into a category where I have a good chance of being accepted, but the truth is that there aren't any labels that can identify you, completely. I went through struggles with my ethnicity, my religion, my lifestyle, and my image as a female--none of what today's society--or any societies past--believes can really 'diagnose' you and tell you how to live your life. It's your story, make it one that you are comfortable in, and surround yourself with like-minded people. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I know someone who is lesbian and Catholic. She is perfectly happy with herself. she feels called to live a celibate life and has a very full life with many friends of both genders. In fact, she converted to Catholicism. Link to comment
DoF Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 They aren't all bad.. you cant just group people together... I never said anyone is BAD. Please don't put words in my mouth! I said "I STAY AWAY". Nothing less, nothing more. This is just me, my opinion based on my experience. Take it for what it is. PS. I was born/raised in one of the most catholic countries on this planet and around religion on daily basis most of my childhood/teens. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Religious debates are not allowed. Thread closed. Link to comment
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