Any appropriate way to get back in touch?

[stalumfi]

I did a short volunteering stint recently, and met someone that I would have liked to get to know a bit better, and it has occurred to me belatedly, not being the brightest in matters social and interpersonal, that maybe he was thinking the same.

 

The problem is now that I've left and I don't know if I'll see him again. He only works there irregularly on a voluntary basis. I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to mention to the manager next time I call in that I was asking after him and leave things up to him. I certainly don't want to put her in a difficult position, which (I think) asking something more specific might do, though I suspect she knows how things stand. It's possible, too, that I'm misreading any potential interest. All I want, really, is a chance to chat to him and get to know him a bit better, if that's what he wants, naturally.

[Hollyj]

Is he on social media?

[mhowe]

I think asking a manager at a work situation to give out personnel information is not only not a great idea but not legal.

[Batya33]

I think asking a manager at a work situation to give out personnel information is not only not a great idea but not legal.

 

I think it's fine if she sends a message through the manager with her contact info. I did that a few months ago when my son's former teacher sent him a card. I lost the envelope, could not find her on social media, so I contacted her former employer to see if I could get word to her that I wanted to be in touch . Perfectly appropriate.

[mhowe]

As a parent...teacher...child.

 

Not as a dating introduction.

[Batya33]

As a parent...teacher...child.

 

Not as a dating introduction.

 

I disagree. She is not asking for his personal information and they simply volunteer there.

[mhowe]

She is asking for a means to contact him. As they worked together, had he wanted her to have his phone number, he would have given it to her. She can white page on google without involving a third party.

[stalumfi]

Is he on social media?

Yes, I do know of one account but as I understand he doesn't like sharing his social media details I'd be reluctant to use it.

 

I think asking a manager at a work situation to give out personnel information is not only not a great idea but not legal.

 

I wouldn't want her to do that. I was thinking along the lines of sending a greeting, and as I'm easily found on social media, he could look me up that way if he were inclined to do so. However, I do take your point and it mightn't be the way to go. As I said, I don't want to make things in any way awkward for my former manager.

 

I might just have to write this one off. Thanks all for your help.

[James516]

A manager with any sense would not get involved even remotely as a go-between of a potential dating interest situation. If you can think of some kind of info that would appear that you want to let him know about, such as something related to the volunteering, that would be a good excuse to ask the manager to forward your contact number. One lesson learned - if you might be interested in someone, don't wait around to give that person some way to contact you.

[mhowe]

If he doesn't like sharing his social media...then a resounding NO.

[stalumfi]

Never mind.

[Helpexpressme]

Why don't you just go down there everyday until you spot him again?

[stalumfi]

If he doesn't like sharing his social media...then a resounding NO.

I have already stated I'm not going to do anything.

 

Why don't you just go down there everyday until you spot him again?

I will go there when I have a reason to and maybe do some more volunteering in a few months. Not with any silly ideas in mind, I hasten to add.

[lancelot873]

accept the fact that it's a missed opportunity, and learn to pay more attention. unless you run into him randomly, in which case you better be ready to have a conversation.

[stalumfi]

Yes, it was a ridiculous idea, and I doubt I'd have had the nerve to do it anyway. Thanks for the advice, it's sometimes good to re-orientate my sense of what is socially appropriate. (I believe I have Asperger's, and it's an ongoing concern.)

accept the fact that it's a missed opportunity, and learn to pay more attention. unless you run into him randomly, in which case you better be ready to have a conversation.

True, definitely a lesson learned.

[lancelot873]

you have no idea how many girls i had casually met and then pick up on clues later and realize "what could have been" "i should have said this" truth is, if i didn't know what to say, then i wasn't ready. trust your instinct

 

Yes, it was a ridiculous idea, and I doubt I'd have had the nerve to do it anyway. Thanks for the advice, it's sometimes good to re-orientate my sense of what is socially appropriate. (I believe I have Asperger's, and it's an ongoing concern.)

 

True, definitely a lesson learned.

[Sportster2005]

Yes, it was a ridiculous idea, and I doubt I'd have had the nerve to do it anyway. Thanks for the advice, it's sometimes good to re-orientate my sense of what is socially appropriate. (I believe I have Asperger's, and it's an ongoing concern.)

 

True, definitely a lesson learned.

 

If you feel you do follow up with a definitive diagnoses and support. There are many resources out there. Take advantage of them.

[stalumfi]

If you feel you do follow up with a definitive diagnoses and support. There are many resources out there. Take advantage of them.

Than you. Diagnosis and supports - to the extent that they exist for adults - are too costly for me to consider at this point, so I'll have to muddle along.