Feeling down today

[can1328]

This past week has been rough for me and I'm not positive why. It's been 5 months since she left. I went NC and ignored up until a few weeks ago. Her contact (although rude and manipulative) was regarding a death of a close friends family member. My answers were about 3 sentences total and completely closed. That was that. She did terrible things to me. I was used, cheated on, lied to, etc. from a girl I spent 6 years of my life with. She now has a new bf. I don't go out seeking information but sometimes i just hear about it. We had mutual friends and with social media now, people see things and unfortunately I hear some. I've blocked every way to see her except for the phone.

 

My concern is that it's been 5 months now and shouldn't I be angry? This past week I feel like I just want her back so I can hug her. But why? She was awful to me. I don't know why I miss her. On Sunday I spent the day cleaning up the yard getting it ready for winter. The entire time I thought about her. I couldn't stop thinking about her and the situation. My day to day life is much better than it was. But she's ok my head 85% of the day usually. Maybe someone who's ahead of me can shed some light on this. I have no desire to contact her. It's almost like a fantasy of how I wish she'd show up at my door? I'm concerned I'm not doing as well as i should be.

[dizz]

You have no desire to contact her. That is nothing but progress! Thinking about her 85% of the day is normal. When you're with someone for that long, it's not easy to just forget about it. She will linger, and with time you will accept her presence in the back of your head. Only with time, it will start to fade. If it's been 5 months, may be you should try dating again. Keep it casual and fun!

 

But you're doing well!

[Ms Darcy]

I think you should have blocked her phone number a long time ago.

[Movingforward3]

Breakups are hard. There are different ebbs and flows to emotions. Accept that will happen. Remember, you choose how to handle it. Start to only allow it to effect you for a moment and then change it. Focus on visualizing a door leading to new opportunities away from the ex. Consider all potential options. Live your life. Have fun and laugh. You can do this,

[catfeeder]

The whole year following the breakup of a LTR is spent reclaiming various milestones as your own. So the first something of this season and the first something else of the next season hits triggers. Just know that you're taking it back, and it's bitter, then it's bittersweet, then it becomes sweet.

[DoF]

This past week has been rough for me and I'm not positive why. It's been 5 months since she left. I went NC and ignored up until a few weeks ago.

 

In bold is WHY.

 

Rest is just a consequence of "breaking contact". By doing so you COMPLETELY reset your healing process. 5 months down into a drain. My proof, you feel how you felt on 1 week of break up. Not good, not good.

 

Start over and don't make the same mistake again!

 

Cut off mutual friends, cut off social media.....and STOP thinking about her. Deflect her thoughts when they come and think of something else....aka practice mind diversion. If you don't do it, you will never EVER heal.

 

It's going to be another 6 months + until you are healed/recovered and are over her.

 

Good luck

[can1328]

In bold is WHY.

 

Rest is just a consequence of "breaking contact". By doing so you COMPLETELY reset your healing process. 5 months down into a drain. My proof, you feel how you felt on 1 week of break up. Not good, not good.

 

Start over and don't make the same mistake again!

 

Cut off mutual friends, cut off social media.....and STOP thinking about her. Deflect her thoughts when they come and think of something else....aka practice mind diversion. If you don't do it, you will never EVER heal.

 

It's going to be another 6 months + until you are healed/recovered and are over her.

 

Good luck

 

 

Having that short contact with her didn't really affect me all that much. She added some manipulative paragraph that actually made me laugh about how ridiculous she is. Being outside the relationship makes me see how juvenile she is now. That's why I wonder if it's more of me coping with being alone rather than her. Maybe I associate her with being happy having someone there. But really, she was a user of me, alcohol, friends and family..the list goes on. I see HER for what she is. But yet I miss the companionship. Its confusing to me. We had a mutual couple friends that I am extremely close to. I've hung out with them numerous times since. They hadn't seen her up until a few weeks ago since the breakup. I will not give them up as friends because they are very important people in my life. Unfortunately a lot of memories with them are along with her. I look at it now as I'm making new ones with them without her. Her other friends I have no problem blocking and getting rid of them on social media. Heck, I should get rid of social media completely.

 

I hope it's not another 6 months. I'm doing everything right I feel. Maybe I should've blocked her phone number. She's still paying me the large amount of money she owes me. (in very small increments). I thought of stopping that and moving on but it's an automatic payment. I know it still keeps contact but there's really no perfect answer on that. I have the mindset that I'm going to be ok soon. Just having a slip up lately I hope.

[sky09]

You're doing ok, man. You were with that person for over 5 years - that's quite a long time, so, naturally, it will take a while to heal. I saw my ex at a strip club on Halloween (out of all places), that somewhat set me back a bit, but it does get better (I'm close to 1.5 yrs out of a 5 year R). Gotta roll with the punches and try to focus on other things: yourself (and how to get better), your career, hobbies, friends, etc. Don't try dating yet, please. Believe me, it is a dead-end when you're still not over her.

You know what you have to do - keep toughing it out and do not, under any circumstances, react to any of her bread crumbs.