She said she doesnt love me anymore and nearly over me.

[dilaroe]

My ex girlfriend and I shared very special year together.We were friends before that for 6 months.Last 4 months of our relationship we started to argue a lot.She made mistakes,I made mistakes...She was a depressed person before me entering her life.She was unhappy nearly for her entire life,and that changed with me,as she said.I took her and picked her up.She was always grateful because I always accept her for who she was.I tried to show my love everytime,did everything,I was very supportive,at the same time she was a girlfriend which any man asks for.Our relationship was like that before our arguments.

 

So summer started,we couldnt meet up(only 2 times for 4 months).We argued over text a lot but not on meetings,we were like before,laughing,enjoying life.But she couldnt take our arguments thats why we were never able to discuss our problems face to face.4 months went like this,and she wear out.I was angry with the arguments and I was hard on her.But at last I figured it out the reasons of our arguments,and last month I started to change.For her,for us.

 

So school started,and we were good again,she was in love with me I was sure of it.But one more argument took place,and she started to cry.After that we were arguing again on phone,she said me some bad things and I broke up with her.Obviously I regretted that very quickly.I begged,pleaded,cried in front of her(actually I did any pathetic behaviour a man can do).She said "there is no way we are getting back together".She blocked me on everywhere.She was angry with me.I pressed her for a month,and then I stopped.

 

She wasnt sure of her decision.She admitted that she even regrets it,she said she misses me.But she wasnt sure if she liked me or not.Also she stated that she doesnt know if she misses me or our good memories.So it went like that,she agreed to think about getting back together,misses me one day and other one wants nothing about me.My ex also jealous of a girl I liked before my ex.We argued because of it.She said I love this girl and not my ex.And there was a guy that my ex started to talk I said the same thing for her(just a test,I was sure she wasnt into him anyway.).I did this because I wanted to be her boyfriend,not her slave.She cant just throw words on me and expect me to say OK.Apprently,she went into rage.I did too.So we cut connection,didnt talk for 4 days.I saw her at school,she wasnt even looking into my face.I asked her if we are enemies or not.She said,"Im pretty sure at this point,I dont love you,get over me,Im happier without you".After this I didnt say anything.We havent talked each other for a week.

 

So this sums it up my situation.Can ladies here give me an advice whats happening? I want to be sure if she's REALLY over me.Thanks.

 

NOTE: Im open for any advice on my personality.For 2 months,I already analyzed everything,Im well aware of my mistakes.I know I didnt have the right to go hard on her and I didnt do this intentionally.

[Dottieflanogon]

Move on,your relationship is unstable and is causing you real distress. I'm sorry to say, but it's over. You're no longer a potential mate in her eyes and you never will be.The best thing you can do for yourself is stop contact with her to give yourself time to get over her and move on with your life. The moral of your story is you made it through the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship fine (as all couples do) but once that was over you discovered you were incompatible. Well, she discovered that but you're still trying to pretend it's not true. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will move on.

[dilaroe]

Move on,your relationship is unstable and is causing you real distress. I'm sorry to say, but it's over. You're no longer a potential mate in her eyes and you never will be.The best thing you can do for yourself is stop contact with her to give yourself time to get over her and move on with your life. The moral of your story is you made it through the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship fine (as all couples do) but once that was over you discovered you were incompatible. Well, she discovered that but you're still trying to pretend it's not true. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will move on.

 

We werent imcompatible,other things can be true,but its not.Thanks for your response =) I just wanted to know why she was confused.

[shessofly]

She told you to move on and hasn't spoken to you since. This relationship sounds really dramatic....you testing her, her feeling like you like some other girl more, all the arguing, her going into a rage. Not healthy. Best to accept the end and move forward.

[dilaroe]

She told you to move on and hasn't spoken to you since. This relationship sounds really dramatic....you testing her, her feeling like you like some other girl more, all the arguing, her going into a rage. Not healthy. Best to accept the end and move forward.

 

Its not a "test" as you think.Its more of a "if she can blame me for loving another girl,can she take the same blame?".Yeah,it seems like its over.I just didnt know why she was jealous and missing me.She was unstable emotinally and she apologized that she was playing with my emotions but she didnt do it intentionally.Accepted her apologize and Im smiling when I see her right now,she smiles too,just no talk.I forgived her,just trying to forgive myself for all the bad actions I made and trying to get better as a person.Thanks a lot for your precious comments! =D

[catfeeder]

She was a depressed person before me entering her life.She was unhappy nearly for her entire life,and that changed with me,as she said.

 

My heart goes out to you. You're dealing with a depressive personality, and the endorphins released into her system from the 'new love buzz' felt like a 'cure,' but it was not--and it was short lived.

 

Depressives are not relationship material unless and until they get the right kind of help to either manage their condition (in chronic cases) or lift their chemical imbalance (in acute cases) and no amount of love from anyone else can change that--or 'cure' them.

 

You can put yourself through a meat grinder of mind spins over this, but unless and until this woman strikes the right relationship with a therapist and participates in the right treatment, she's likely to keep searching for the 'new love buzz' to feel better. That's not about the guy, it's about 'new'.

 

Write more if it helps, but you can't 'help' her.

[dilaroe]

My heart goes out to you. You're dealing with a depressive personality, and the endorphins released into her system from the 'new love buzz' felt like a 'cure,' but it was not--and it was short lived.

 

Depressives are not relationship material unless and until they get the right kind of help to either manage their condition (in chronic cases) or lift their chemical imbalance (in acute cases) and no amount of love from anyone else can change that--or 'cure' them.

 

You can put yourself through a meat grinder of mind spins over this, but unless and until this woman strikes the right relationship with a therapist and participates in the right treatment, she's likely to keep searching for the 'new love buzz' to feel better. That's not about the guy, it's about 'new'.

 

Write more if it helps, but you can't 'help' her.

 

 

Thanks for your thoughts =) When I asked last time we spoke she said "our dreams and goals just reminds me stress,unhappiness,you are not worth anymore,Im sorry".She also said Im planning to live alone(which everyone knows is a BIG LIE) with my cats LOL.Its matter of time before she fall in love again,as she fell in love sooooo often.

[dilaroe]

It seems she has a boyfriend now,LOL.

[BrokenGator]

It seems she has a boyfriend now,LOL.

Are you surprised? How do you know she has a new guy? Do you know the guy?

[dilaroe]

Are you surprised? How do you know she has a new guy? Do you know the guy?

 

Yeah,I do know the guy.She's chatting with him for a week or more.I have seen them together in my faculty.They are together most of the time.

[BrokenGator]

Yeah,I do know the guy.She's chatting with him for a week or more.I have seen them together in my faculty.They are together most of the time.

Did you suspect anything before she broke up with you?

[dilaroe]

Did you suspect anything before she broke up with you?

 

 

Yeah.But this guy is new.She just met him a month ago(after our break up).I suspected another guy which she could like.Which she liked before me.I already talked about how she was jealous because I was praising that girl's personality,she was doing the same thing to that other guy after our breakup but I didnt give any attention because I was trusting her.Its suspicious,I didnt give any attention as I said before but then why the hell she was angry because I was doing the same thing?

[dilaroe]

Update:So it seems she didnt have a boyfriend.When I started to feel good,I went out with my friends(we didnt speak for like 2 weeks).So she came with her friends too,and saw me.My friend told me that she didnt seem happy after seeing me there.So 3 days after this she texts me,classic breadcrumb: "how are you?Im worried you didnt come to class today" Girl,you saw me 3 days before that day,I was fine as you see,LOL.I asked about why she was broken after seen me there,she told me that its strange that you shared your life with one person and its right there on the another table,far away from you now.I was strong this time,didnt beg or anything.Actually said that Im not interested anymore.So why the funk she wrote to me? Either she's selfish person that dont want me to live happy after her or she's alone(I asked if she's writing me because she's alone,she said nope).Aaaand big if,she could be still regreting her decision.She regretted that before,many times.