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He told me he didn't break up with me... it was only a "month break"

mrazxo

By mrazxo
in Breaking Up Advice

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mrazxo Rookie

mrazxo

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My exboyfriend broke up with me just over a month ago. We dated for a year, spent a lot of time together, and were arguing quite frequently. We both started getting very busy, and it felt like we were drifting apart. Anyway, the breakup story goes like this: we go on a perfect date night, have sex for the first time in two months, sleep together, wake up in the morning, get in a minor argument, and he breaks up with me. I begged him not to leave. I was that typical girl who cried and begged and wouldn't let him leave my house. He said we could talk in a few days, I asked if things would change and he said no. I asked him if there was someone else, he said no and that he didn't want to see me with anyone else, but they may be able to make me happier. He also said that it would suck for a little while after the break up, but in the end it would be better for the both of us. After he left, I immediately called him twice. No answer. I replayed this break up for 2 weeks. I cried at the flip of a dime. I didn't eat. I lost 15 lbs, I fell into that dark break up hole. But, I also didn't contact him. At all. I thought maybe it would make him come back to me, but it didn't. I deleted and blocked him off all social media. On Friday night, he texted me saying that it had been a while since we last talked, and that after a month "break" we should be able to talk again. He said that my actions after our talk of a "break" made it seem like I wanted it to be pretty final. He told me it's been hard for him to hold on for the last month. Hold on?! He broke up with me!!!! He sent me about 15 messages before I answered. He continued to flood my phone with messages and phone calls, but I wasn't playing that game with him. He said he would pick me up right then and there so we could "talk." I said no, I was busy. I was going out for my friends birthday. This was the first time that I felt confident enough to go out to a bar without feeling like I would cry. I had made such amazing progress with myself and my life, and then out of no where he messages me. He was upset with me because I wouldn't see him and chose to "hide behind substances." He stopped messaging me and I was drinking, so I did the stupid thing and got pretty needy. I called him 3 times that night with no answer and no text back. I called him the following morning and no answer. Still haven't heard a word from him. I feel so absolutely stupid that I gave up all of my progress and all I want to do is call him right now. I feel horrible and embarrassed. I just don't know why he decided to message me, basically begging me to see him. And now nothing. I guess I gave him what he wanted, and told him I wasn't completely over him. But, I really just don't understand why he hasn't messaged me again... I know I should just leave him behind, but I want to see him in person and have a civil conversation with him to see what the hell Friday night was about.

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PICCOLLO Enthusiast

PICCOLLO

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He sounds emotionally immature. His actions reek of control and game playing.

 

He didnt like you going NC and probably hated you not giving him the time of day when he bombarded you with messages.

 

Saying it was a month break when you know it wasnt is also manipulative.

 

Its disappointing you relented and contacted him but its a moment of weakness. Get back on the horse and start NC over. You can do it.

 

Finding out about 'Friday night' is irrelevant. Its only going to give him more of a chance to have power over you, either through ignoring you or getting you to see him.

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