Falling In Love (Both Male and Female Advice)

[PinkRanger95]

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 3 months now. We had met online, and werent really expecting to date the other person. But he ended up asking me on a date, and it went well. We really connected, and I've never had that with someone before. Guys I've dated in the past were all jerks that have dumped me. He's someone who isnt a very open person, but for some reason, he felt like he could be with me. And so he opened up more and more. He told me that in all of his past relationships, his girlfriend's have cheated on him, and so it takes him a while to trust someone from being hurt so many times. I completely understood where he was coming from. We both felt like we rush in to relationships, and wanted it to be different for us. So we dated for a few more weeks, until he asked me to be his girlfriend. A few weeks after that (about a month into our relationship) we both had one of the best dates we've been on. We were sitting at the beach all day, watching the sunset and the waves crash on the shore, it was absolutely beautiful. I had this strong feeling in me that I felt was right for me to tell him, and so I told him I loved him. It was a beautiful expirience and he said it back as well. About a month or so later (not too long ago) he told me he needed to get something off his chest. And explained to me the best way he could, that the day at the beach when I had said I love you, and vice versa he did mean it. But when he said he Loved me, it meant he cared about me, etc. And he said that he wasn't IN LOVE with me and that it will take him a bit longer to truly fall in love. He also added that I should keep doing what I'm doing, because it was working for him. It did hurt me to hear something like that, but I would never want to pressure someone into loving me.

 

If I could get advice from this, that would be great. This was my first time truly admitting my feelings to someone and I feel embarrassed as if I rushed things by saying I love you. Did I rush it? Is it bad that he isn't in love with me yet?

[Movingforward3]

Love the name! I always love the pink ranger

 

I think you should be patient. People move at their own pace. He told you to keep doing what you are doing. You just said it first. Putting yourself out there is always a leap of faith! You know how he feels deep inside, even if he hasn't said it yet!

Keep going!

[Hollyj]

It's done.

 

I wouldn't worry about it, as he's still around. He cares about you.

 

I agree that it should take more than a month to fall in love. You guys need to get to know each other. Give it time.

 

Has he dealt with his trust issues??

[PinkRanger95]

Haha thank you! Pink Power ranger has always been my favorite! And thank you for the advice

[PinkRanger95]

It's done.

 

I wouldn't worry about it, as he's still around. He cares about you.

 

I agree that it should take more than a month to fall in love. You guys need to get to know each other. Give it time.

 

Has he dealt with his trust issues??

 

I think he is still a bit hurt from what his past girlfriends did to him. But he knows I would never do that. I told him time will just prove to him that he can trust me, since actions speak louder than words.

[Dottieflanogon]

You just can't rush those things....Give him some time. Show him that you care. I think he will come around as for now he's not emotionally ready to say that.

[CritterBug]

3 months is not to early for an innocent, "I love you". Your not at fault here, but don't fault the guy for not feeling the same way as you yet. After 3 months my girlfriend wants to get married, after 5 she says she wants to have my children. Different strokes for different folks, and sometimes people stoke at different speeds. (Very different in my case)

 

My girlfriend had trust issues for awhile, so I'm going to give you a tip. After he falls "in love" with you, just don't put up with the trust issues. All you really need to fix mental/emotional problems is a whole lot of loving support and a little harmless back-talking sass.

 

I give love easily, but "I love you" are 3 words that are never to be taken lightly. My geuss is that he really did think he was in love with you. Then the hunny moon phase ended and he realized he got caught in the passion and the heat of the moment. Rather then just tell you (thanks again trust and other issues) he came up with that cop out answer. Because no one in there right mind says "I love you" and translates it as "Yeah, I like you alot and stuff."