I think I now officially hate men from my country

[yeawutever]

Please bear with me:

 

Not sure if this is a normal feeling? To hate and feel disgusted by your own kind when it comes to dating or wanting a relationship.

 

I'm originally from South America and have been trying to come back to Fl for a while now (I was raised there since the age of 4 till my early 20's; now I'm 28. Will get my things all sorted out.

 

Anyway I now hate men from my country. A couple male family members (including my father) were bad role models of husbands and tended to get borderline abusive. I'm leery of them. I hate the way they look too. They disgust me too. I just hate them all.

 

Hence, I want either americanized men or white men. I've also been growing an interesting to meeting a European man. They seem to be more calmer and milder in temper than the native speaking spanish men from latin countries.

[Rosti87]

Men are men regardless of culture or ethnicity. There are abusive men in every culture. Take men on a case by case basis. I'm well aware that some cultures are more patriarchal than others, but I know plenty of European men who are jerks. I know plenty of American men that are jerks. One of my best male friends is from a South American culture and he is a wonderful man. So the grass is not necessarily as green on the other side of the fence.

[yeawutever]

True, my country is a more patriarchal culture and there is less control. I just heard on the news, they let an abusive man free after he was only in jail for a couple days. Not so long ago, I had to stop an argument my parents had from not getting ugly; was worried about my mother mainly (had I not been there, he would have already gotten in her face). I hate his excuse he uses ''but she's saying a bad Word, tell her not to insult me''. So what. That's not a reason for a man to get all temperamental and already have urges to hit you.

 

A real man doesn't have urges to hit just because of words during an argument. I'm leery as of now. I don't trust easily. But would wish to meet not just a man, but a gentleman. Still, I think I feel better off with a man from a less patriarchal culture like the US or Europe. What I do know is I will never tolerate a man trying to get all aggressive on me. It would be over right away on that same day.

[Lucia Amman]

I'm so sorry you feel that way! I do believe culture makes up for 20 to 30% of who you are. I've dated men from the USA, South America (Colombia), South Africa, Sweden, Korea, Japan, Ireland, Morocco, Belgium and the Netherlands. And yes, there are jerks in every country but I did see some major cultural differences in some of them. Especially the Asian ones for me, even though my family is half asian, felt very unfamiliar. Their were very different courtesy customs and the way they look at man versus wife IS different. Not necessarily bad or good, just different.

I btw adored my Colombian beau, he was very gentle and very much a gentleman towards me. Not the typical depicted macho's that's a popular depiction of 'them'. So I don't want to generalize too much. But I still think he had some different views due to where he grew up. Again nothing bad...

 

I'm from the Netherlands and I love the men here that come from the city. Not so much from the more farmland. My dad comes from a family of farmers and I don't want to talk about them but it just isn't my type of men. I wouldn't call dutch men gentlemen but they can be... I think my best bet would be on Scandinavian men to be the most gentle and true gentlemen still. Very feministic as they have one of the highest rate of working women in their country and over all a very gentle and kind people if you get to know them properly (they can be very reversed and to themselves).

 

Of course all of my observations are my own and I don't mean any harm to other men. It wasn't because these men were sh*# that I did date them of course. I really liked all of them

[Rosti87]

As long as you are aware that abusive men are everywhere, not just in your country. And yes abusive men get out of the arm of the law in the United States as well. If I had a dollar for every incident of an abusive man who got out and went back and killed his woman and sometimes her kids in the States I would be a trillionaire.

[Rosti87]

I was married to a European and the part of his family that was from smaller towns did not regard women very highly. That is why the OP should not blindly believe that a man from another culture guarantees a 'better' man.

[Dottieflanogon]

That's fine,

You don't have to, you can be attracted to whoever you want,it's a preference. It probably has a lot to do with the environment you're raised in. If you grow up watching movies with heroic figures who possess incredibly masculine features etc, or in a culture that makes it quite obvious in their media about what they think being a man is and what a real handsome man would look like, then I think you would eventually grow as a woman who would be more attracted to that type.

 

Don't be down on yourself about it, you sound like a pretty respectful girl who respects the men in her race, it's just that she prefers a different type of man relationship/sexuality-wise. You retain the right to have your type!

[Lucia Amman]

I was married to a European and the part of his family that was from smaller towns did not regard women very highly. That is why the OP should not blindly believe that a man from another culture guarantees a 'better' man.

 

Yeah, that's what I tried to say about farmers too but I restrict myself because again: not all farmers are like that. Read my post again: you'll see I'm referring to this too

[Rosti87]

Yeah, that's what I tried to say about farmers too but I restrict myself because again: not all farmers are like that. Read my post again: you'll see I'm referring to this too

 

These were not farmers. They just lived in villages in the Alps. Probably similar to people who live in the Appalachians.

[Tygra]

I think it is up totally up to you. If you think you see a bad trait in a Latin man and it feels exclusive to them, go for whoever you want to go for.

 

You cannot put everyone in the same pot, but different cultures definitely can have certain ways about them. I live in the the UK and there tonnes of foreigners living in my city. Sometimes I think if I woke up with amnesia at first I wouldn't think I was in England. I definitely see different traits in women coming from other countries. The Spanish women think the sun shines out there backsides and I would not feel comfortable putting my feelings in their hands. Some of the Polish are absolutely sex mad (which is not necessarily a bad thing), but it can get to point where you have to say 'sorry, I am not up for it today'. Some of the Chinese are bit ed up too. I have had them gesture I am head just because I didn't give them enough attention. One had the nerve to practically tred on my foot when she stood up from the bench to get the bus; these were complete stranges. Some are super shy to the point where you think, 'what are you a baby'?.

 

I think you should go with any man that you think suits you. If you don't see enough integrity in Latin men, go elsewhere. I am sure there are plenty of good Latin men, perhaps it is just bad luck for you.

 

Edit:

Sorry, I think I should include my women. Some English women are as common as muck and piss outdoor in the streets. I almost snob at them and I grew up on a council state. My accent is not posh at all.