Confused... mixed signals or my mistake

[Walters1]

My Ex Boyfriend broke up with me 2 and a half months ago. It was a messy break up, during which he became really mean without reson, I made mistakes too (begging and crying etc)- but not for long. We quickly went NC and i was feeling better and beginning to think about it less and feel generally less sad about the whole thing after around 6 weeks.

 

Thats when he started contacting me again, we tried to be friends and it seemed to be going ok for a couple of weeks. As time went on we got really close again, he came to me for support, saw each other at least three times a week, kissing/cuddling/and the rest etc. He even went as far as to starting using 'we' when referring to the future and when talking about us. He kept saying things like 'we'll be ok' 'we can get through anything' etc. He regualrly called me in the day just to see how i was and to chat about our days. All the usual stuff!!

He even started looking at weekends away in November and asking which weekends i was free!!

 

Then yesterday he suddeny went really cold, one word answers to my texts, avoiding my call etc.So today i asked him if something was wrong to which he told me:

I'm so glad that were friends again but soon we're going to have to be 'friend friends' (i ckearky asked what he meant by this) so he told me that we cant keep doing what we're doing for very much longer as we wont be able to move on!

I was clearly alittle shocked and he said 'but i toldd you we we're never getting back together' Yes- its true he did say this- but he said it at the time right after the breakup in amongst saying alot of things in anger which he clearly didnt mean, i'd forgotten he had even said it it was that early in the breakup!

 

Did I read all the signs wrong? I feel really shocked! Its like hes drawn me back in just to push me away and breakup with me again.

 

Am I going mad? He told me that i knew he didnt ever want to get back together so i should have known it meant nothing!

 

Opinions? I feel like a right idiot!!

[TMifune]

Yes and No.

 

The signs are inherently misleading because you're not friends, you're ex's. The intimacy you shared can't just be pruned back into friendship again. So he was kinda playing on your feelings to keep you around so he wouldn't have to be alone. I'm guessing he's got a new girl in the pipeline and that's why he's giving you the heads-up on the relationship status.

 

You are not the first one to be suckered this way and you surely won't be the last.

[dave_1966]

Block him in every way possible for your own sanity, give him the gift of missing you. Forever.

[HeartGoesOn]

Did I read all the signs wrong? I feel really shocked! Its like hes drawn me back in just to push me away and breakup with me again.

 

No.

 

You read them correctly, yet you chose to believe his words, rather than take the time to judge his actions. When something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

[ParisPaulette]

Never trust someone after they go mean on you for no reason, especially him being the dumper there was no call for that. Likely he got out there, realized women were not breaking down his door, then came back and managed your expectations just enough to keep you as a placeholder. And now he's found a likely prospect and is once again showing you his true face--the one where he gets nasty when someone can no longer provide what he wants or needs.

 

You'd be very wise to block and delete him at this point and not let him ever come back or he will keep doing this to you every time things don't work out and he needs a fallback girl to cushion his falls. What he did is simply not acceptable and it's also why being friends with an ex after they treat you crappy and dump you is just a terrible idea all the way around.

 

Consider he's shown his true colors, stop letting him use you as an emotional blankie whenever he likes, get him gone and move forward and heal. You deserve someone who is consistent in their affections.

[No1]

No, you didnt read it wrong. I would of thought the same thing as you, and you two were never just 'friends'. I think you were more of a transition to another stage. Im thinking there was another girl who he was seeing how things would go and he was keeping you kind of as the big airbag incase he got dumped, it would of been easy to get you back.

But either way you were not wrong, I think most people would of thought the same thing as you. But that is not what is important, what is important is how you handle things now.. how you handle them today. Now you know what he wants and you must let him go. He made his bed, he let you go and if thats what he wanted then let him have it. That means he can not ever come back to you no matter how hard he begs and believe me, he will come back to you begging. He had his chance and now you move on with your life and find someone who will take you as you are and someone who can devote their full attention to you.