Playing with fire? I don't think so

[Msmarie0917]

So I guess by now everyone knows the situation with me and my ex so there's no need to explain. After finding out that my ex and his now new girlfriend were both cheating on me and HER now ex boyfriend of 3 years with each other, I'm finally moving on. I feel 10xs better and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm healing and starting to get back to normal. Iv started taking an interest in going to the gym because iv found that it's an amazing way to let out all of my built up frustration and keep myself busy. Me and my sister were talking about possibly getting a personal trainer to keep us motivated and it just so happens that my exes new girlfriends ex boyfriend who I mentioned that she cheated on with my ex boyfriend while he was cheating on me with her is a personal trainer. I asked him if he knew of any good trainers and he mentioned himself. I asked him how much he charged and he said that I should come to the gym he works at this week and check it out. I agreed! And in excited that iv found a hobby. However my mom is telling me that I'm playing with fire because if my exes new girlfriend ever decides that she wants to run back to her ex and finds out that he's my trainer. It could cause major problems. In my opinion I don't really Give a fxck about her or how she feels about anything. She didn't care about my feelings when she was screwing with my boyfriend and cheating on hers so why should I Give a damn? She's irrelevant. I'm just tryna keep my body on point now that im single lol 👌🏾☺️

[shellyf62]

Does he know who you are in relation to all the drama?

[Msmarie0917]

Yes! I reached out to him once I realized the truth in order to get closure as well as answers as to what was going on. We texted for hours and he's the one who told me about everything that was going on that I didn't know about. We're very aware of each other

[Hollyj]

Doesn't sound like you're moving on, if that's the only trainer you can find.

[Msmarie0917]

Why would I pay a crap load for a trainer. If I can find someone who's willing to give me a discounted price at a gym right around the corner from where I live ? It really has nothing to do with the situation. I'm trying to find a trainer that knows what they're doing at a good price. I could care less about what happened at this point. What's done is done it's irrelevant to what's going on in my life now.

[Hollyj]

If that's the case, then why did you post about it.

 

Sounds like some drama to me.

[Msmarie0917]

Umm to get advice. Isn't that what this forum is for? Everyone on this site has drama including yourself or else it wouldn't exist

[ParisPaulette]

Hey, I'm glad to hear you're doing better. That's awesome. On to the dilemma, well it's awkward yeah. No doubt about that.

 

The idea of you going to the gym and you and your sister getting a personal trainer is a really good one. The person you are looking at for the position, not quite so much. I think that because the potential for revenge and "in yo face" just seems too great and I would worry that it was derail your efforts to truly move on and set fitness goals. How focused are you really going to be about working out if the entire time you're thinking, "Hah, Mr. Ex how'd you like me now?" Or worse, each of you saying that to the other. I mean, I wouldn't probably be able to resist it as much as I'd like to think I would rise above something like that, so yeah that temptation is there.

 

I would go, check out the gym itself, sure, maybe ask him nicely who else he can recommend and tell him it's just kind of awkward otherwise. But to me having him be your personal trainer just seems like it's too much of a reminder when what you're trying to do is get free of all of that and move forward into the future. Also you and your sis don't need a personal trainer permanently. Plenty of gyms offer things like a starter session or program where a personal trainer works with you for a set time to get you going then you take over from there. That's another option to explore that would help you keep distance.

 

What you don't want is the two of you constantly talking about the exes. That can set you back and worse make you both focus on the wrong things. Just think out that particular action fully, because what you want is to not get caught up in any speed bumps along the way. You want smooth sailing.