Butterflyxx Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We were together for 6 months, and we were friends for 3 years. I knew from the start that he still had feelings for his ex, but I stupidly went along with the relationship in hopes that he would love me back. I was always the one to message him first, asking to meet up, putting all the effort in. When we were together it was perfect- I knew he did have feelings for me. As the months went by I started to trust him less and less, and I got paranoid about every single girl he spoke to, because when him and his ex were dating he used to flirt with me so I thought he'd do the same again. The last month of our relationship was terrible, he never wanted to see me, talk to me or meet up. I had to practically plead with him to meet me, even just once a week. Throughout our relationship I was 80% miserable- I worried constantly and I dreaded going out with my family because I knew I'd be miserable. I miss the bond we had together, the fact we could talk about anything together and the fact I could be myself in front of him. I thought we'd be together for a long time. How do I move on? I'll see him all the time next month in school and I can't bare to see him. We broke up a month ago & we haven't spoken since. He told me he loved me did he not love me? I'm 17. Link to comment
relevart Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 At 17, everything always seems so dire. You admit that you made a mistake getting into a relationship with him because he was not over his ex. Then your own insecurity and paranoia at least helped end the relationship. It seemed unhealthy from the start. Learn not to allow your bad traits of insecurity and paranoia get the best of you. Move on from this guy and heal. When you see him, say hello, keep your head up high and walk on by. But realize that you';re young and sometimes the things which make sense to us then won't make sense to us later. You admit that you were insecure and paranoid around him, then later talk about how it felt good to "be myself around him." Those two sentencens don't go together and I imagine you are romanticizing the relationship, making it sounds better than it really was. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Listen to relevart! S/he said what I was going to say. As a teen everything is so dramatic and life threatening/altering and in reality that's not just how it is. The odds of this guy being your one true love were slim to nil given your ages. As you grow and mature you will change and meet new people and perhaps find the right guy then. Most of us have many relationships before finding that Right Person. Hold your head high, join groups at school, make new friends, dont sit home and mope, get yourself out there, not necessarily to date anyone, but to enjoy life. Link to comment
DoF Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We were together for 6 months, and we were friends for 3 years. No such a thing as "friendship" if either party has attraction. I knew from the start that he still had feelings for his ex, but I stupidly went along with the relationship in hopes that he would love me back. Not smart. You seem desperate.... I was always the one to message him first, asking to meet up, putting all the effort in. Never EVER do that. Unbalanced relationship. When we were together it was perfect- I knew he did have feelings for me. As the months went by I started to trust him less and less, and I got paranoid about every single girl he spoke to, because when him and his ex were dating he used to flirt with me so I thought he'd do the same again. Of course he he would and WILL. The last month of our relationship was terrible, he never wanted to see me, talk to me or meet up. I had to practically plead with him to meet me, even just once a week. You said that's always been the case. I see 0 change here. Keep initiation/reach out to 50/50 balance! Throughout our relationship I was 80% miserable- I worried constantly and I dreaded going out with my family because I knew I'd be miserable. I miss the bond we had together, the fact we could talk about anything together and the fact I could be myself in front of him. I thought we'd be together for a long time. How do I move on? I'll see him all the time next month in school and I can't bare to see him. We broke up a month ago & we haven't spoken since. He told me he loved me did he not love me? I'm 17. He does not love you and never have....WITH ACTION. Remember, ACTIONS speak louder than words. If he loved you he would've reached out to you and would want to be with you ALL THE TIME. Give it more time, stop thinking about him and completely block him/ignore him. Then you will need time. Not only do you want to get over this guy, you NEED to do it. He doesn't sound like a good relationship material at all. "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you are right" Henry Ford Link to comment
No1 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Its pretty simple. It doesn't matter why it just matter that he is just not that into you. As I see it, there are several ways you can handle it. You can accept that you two will never be more than friends and just agree to be his friend. Youll have to lose the attraction to him and you two can go on being friends just not together. You can decide not to be his friend and just continue on with life and if you see him, you be civil and polite and hold no grudge against him. You are only 17 and that means you are going to meet A LOT of guys between now and then. This isn't the only guy in the world is what I'm trying to say. And you asked if he lied when he said he loved you.. He might have A love for you but he is not IN love with you. But you know what? That's okay. This school year is going to be exciting for you. Youre beautiful, smart, you have a good heart and there will be a lot of guys who will be after you.. so don't worry okay.. You are going to be just fine. Also just out of curiosity.. On July 7th you said you were 17, on July 27th, you said you were 16 and on Aug 8th you said you two were together for a year and on this post you said you have been together for 6months. So have you two been 'together' for a year or 6 months? Whats the truth here? Link to comment
Butterflyxx Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Thank you for that advice. I'm 17 haha sorry for the confusion. I thought I wrote 17 on my other post but turns out I wrote 16 instead (I type this all out on my phone so it's not accurate). We were together 'officially' for 6 months, but we have been casually dating for a year. Link to comment
No1 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Oh that's okay, just wondering.. and Butterfly... this guy is not the one for you. No matter how much you wish things could be, its just not going to happen. Youre beautiful, athletic, smart, you have a big heart and there is a lucky guy out there for you. youll be okay. Just let this relationship go. Link to comment
Butterflyxx Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Thank you so much No1. You've really made me realise now. Thank you, you have a heart of gold Link to comment
No1 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Awww.. thank you.. and you have a good heart also, just remember that.. Anyone would be lucky to have your smile. Youll be happy again and who knows what will happen this school year right? Link to comment
Butterflyxx Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Aw thank you! And that's very true.. anything could be around the corner! Link to comment
Butterflyxx Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Thank you once again. You've been an amazing help Link to comment
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