zebragirl Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 Oh the lack of sex was something I could focus on but it's a myriad of things. There has been emotional control for sure. I love him as a friend but I don't like him . No I didn't and him to sleep on the couch. But i did discuss some stuff about separating. He just goes on like nothing changed . I am working on moving out myself . I am done and don't care to keep working on things . He did try to work in a couple things but hasn't fully followed through, when I told him I was done Link to comment
Lester Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Not doing your all is a double-edged sword. Once you drop the unsuspecting hammer and leave/or he leaves, don't be surprised at the CHANGE in him. Imo, If no abuse: you may be making a great husband for some other lady. PS "He just goes on like nothing changed" - No different than me..., and now I'm a great husband. (Or so my wife has told me, hundreds of times) Fight for the marriage you deserve! If it doesn't work..., so what! Don't think there's a crowd here who can fix you misery with quick words of divorce and happy. Link to comment
zebragirl Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 Lester I'm not sure what your point is. I've been trying for so long and there comes a point when trying isn't enough. The feelings are gone. And there IS abuse it's called emotional abuse. It's just as legit as physical. But even without that I'm not looking for an easy answer. I feel he could make a good husband if he got the help he needed. But regardless that won't be for me. Maybe he will make a good husband for someone else someday . But I'm done aand I don't see myself ever regretting this. Link to comment
Lester Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I understand, be safe and best to you! Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 zebra, Leaving any relationship with no regrets is a gift you give yourself. I understand you are done and he hasn't done the things needed to improve what could have been a wonderful marriage. It sounds like you have tried over the years with no improvement so you should have little regrets when it is all over. Being scared of the unknown is natural. That is how the best scary movies are made, they only elude to the monster in the shadows and play on our minds to fill in the blanks with all sorts of scary thoughts. Divorce is no different really. Who knows how it will play out. What you will do, what he will do and most of all what your life will really be in 2 years from now. If we knew those things it wouldn't so scary would it? It sounds like you have empathy for your husband and are not looking to rake him over the coals which is good. Taking the high road no matter what the other person does makes the gift of no regrets that much nicer. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Lost PS The guns thing scares me a little. I agree that dropping the big D on him should happen AFTER you are out of the house. Be safe Link to comment
zebragirl Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 He's having a hard time accepting this. You keeps trying to convince me we can get through this and work on things . He's in deep denial. I told him im done and he keeps insisting he can change. He follows me around and kisses me alot. I'm going to have to leave sooner than later Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Acceptance is hard at times like this and it can come and go. He may seem like he has finally accepted what is happening one day and then the next go back to trying to convince you he can change and be the man you want him to be. It is hard to go through this but try your best to not give him any false hope to cling to. Is there any family or friends you can stay with short term while you find a place? That may be best for both of you. Safety wise for you and allow him to process that you are really serious and it is over. Lost Link to comment
zebragirl Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 Just a quick update. I've signed a lease and moving this coming week. He is accepting this even though he doesn't want to. Things are going relatively smoothly all things considered Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Good news! Be careful though, his mood may change drastically when reality hits him. Hopefully it will continue to go smoothly between you two and you both can make the best of a bad situation. Lost Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.