Lost my girlfriend/best friend of 9 months

[Tycy8]

I seriously apologize in advance for such a long word wall guys.

 

Hello everyone,

About 3 days ago my girlfriend of about 9 months basically broke up with me. I'm a Freshman in college and she's a senior in HS (started when we were a senior and junior). When we first started dating right off the bat her parents disapproved of me. Her parents were very strict and conservative of her ever dating anyone anyways but I guess the fact that I was another race (Asian and her being Mexican) added on to it slightly. The first month wasn't anything too serious honestly, we enjoyed each other a lot but we were both afraid to say that we loved each other too soon. We really did love each other in only a month.

 

As the relationship progressed we grew even closer and loved each other even more. However we were dating behind her parent's backs and one day during our 4th month she got caught. Her parents looked through her phone and saw text messages of us. She got grounded, was stripped of her freedom, and they threatened her to move schools. Her parents till this day think I took her virginity but really I didn't, there was only 1 guy before me. That was a tough time for her. A very tough time. She stayed and didn't want me to leave so I stayed.

 

I gave her an iPod touch so she could communicate with her friends and I while she was stripped of her cellphone. But then they found that about a month later... At this point her parents had absolutely no trust in her. At month 5 we broke up, it was 2 weeks before spring break. However at the end of Spring Break we got back together because we missed each other too much. Seeing each other in class was extremely difficult for the both of us. After that, we would last another few months till July 8th. We were going good for the remainder of the relationship, she still hid me from her parents. Changed my name on her contacts and everything. However, when she was on her way to work she was complaining to her mom about something and her mom randomly asked her to give up her phone. She refused because she didn't delete the texts yet regardless of my contact name. Her mom did beat her for possession of the phone. Her mom found out once again.... And she was stripped of her freedom again...

 

I knew this wasn't going to be like last time. I expected the worst. She called me a day later from her coworkers phone while she was on break. She basically yelled and blamed everything on me. She said if I loved her more than myself I would've left a long time ago and that I'm selfish... That one really hurt. I was speechless I did not know what to say. She said she has done everything for me which is so true. She has sacrificed so much for me. She stuck with me for 9 months. She brought up the fact that I have a loving family and she doesn't anymore.

 

After that phone call, a day later, she texted me basically resigning from her efforts saying I deserved someone better. Someone that could've attended prom and all of those dances with me. Someone who's parents would love who I am and would give me a chance that I never got with her. At this point I broke down, how could everything happen so fast, 9 months of effort. Done. She told me "perhaps in time, we will find each other again and that she would miss me deeply and that I would be something great in life. She apologized that it had to come down to this." I was too sad to reply to that. It was her coworker's phone anyways.

 

 

I know it may seem the right choice for her to do what she did but I sacrificed not going to prom, sadies, and other stuff too. I'm willing to be there for her emotionally and spiritually. I swear if I was in her position I would fight till the end of time for her. She wasn't only my girlfriend, she was my best friend. It's as if she died on me and didn't say goodbye. I know she'll miss me like I miss her. It's hard, I'm clueless right now and want to try to get her back but I know it's the right thing to let her go and to give her space. But if 2 people really love each other they'll do anything to get pass difficulties right? What if this testing our love for each other? What should I do guys, I know in my heart I want her back and she wants to be with me. But in my mind I know it's better for her to not hide or lie from her parents anymore. All I want is her. We planned our future together. Thanks for reading and any advice is appreciated

[JustWishing]

I a sorry you are in this situation, but you already know in your heart what the right thing is to do. Give it time and if you two are supposed to be together someday you will find each other again.

[Tycy8]

Also I forgot to add she has no method of communication right now as her phone was taken away.

[acommon]

Hm, parents interfering in a relationship is a tough one! Almost everybody values the opinion of their parents, whether they realize it or not.

 

The good news is that she seems to really care about you, from what you've posted!

 

I would suggest, if you think it would work, have your family talk to hers. That might help smooth things out. Always get in good with a girl's parents!

[Tycy8]

Hm, parents interfering in a relationship is a tough one! Almost everybody values the opinion of their parents, whether they realize it or not.

 

The good news is that she seems to really care about you, from what you've posted!

 

I would suggest, if you think it would work, have your family talk to hers. That might help smooth things out. Always get in good with a girl's parents!

 

Do you think it would be a good idea to have my parents or at least one of my parents confront her parents even with the fact that my parents do not know the fine details of the relationship? They think the relationship is great and that her parents know we're dating and approve it. So basically I'm hiding a lot of details too.