whats up with my friend?

[scorpion91]

I don't know what's been wrong with my friend and our friendship lately but I'll explain what I've been dealing with and I would like feedback from the guys and ladies here.

 

Well my friend T and I have been friends since August of last year. T was 18(now 19), I was 22(now 23) and we lived on campus and such. T does know friends around my age so I don't want anyone here harping about the age. Anyway, me and T hanged out and such most of the past few months and such. Well he and I haven't hanged out since May 9. I know he had some job at his brother-in-law's coin shop or something. I was aware of that, and I give him space on that. But when I text him up, he doesn't reply to my texts. I haven't heard back from him since late May when he had asked me about if I wanted to take the lease of an apprtment he leased, but didn't want for the upcoming fall which I didn't want. I have heard the same bs that my friend T has been "busy" and has been "dating" his FWB/best friend(she's a girl) from this guy I'll call G. Though the last I was aware, my friend T and his FWB weren't together and T only was with her for the sex and that's it, and I don't understand where G for that from. And I don't understand how G became T's friend, because they weren't never friends per se through the times we all hanged out back in the Spring. G and T do live in the same area together, and I do see how they hang out as more than me. I live 15 miles south of where they live, but I don't get why T can't say when he cant hang out or what. And another thing I find funny is, my friend R(a mutual friend of me and T) doesn't respond about T when I ask about T to him. I don't know if they had a falling or what, because I know that there was some slight issue that R dealt with before he went back to Houston, and I don't know if R and T are not talking or what. R and I texted a few weeks back about a UFC fight and that was cool. But I don't get what is up with T. I asked a friend of a friend I met at a party if he saw T and he said no. So I don't know what's up. I do give T space, I have my own committements(my internship, a new job). I would like for T to at least tell me he's okay and when he wants to chill, that's all. If T had a problem with me, at least just bring it up or talk it over man-to-man.

[Helpexpressme]

Well he's all bitter and twisted that you would not take on the lease.

[Hollyj]

This is a very confusing thread.

[mhowe]

Do you like T more than "friends".

[scorpion91]

Well he's all bitter and twisted that you would not take on the lease.

 

He had asked me that day he texted me about taking his lease if I was staying at the same dorm/apartment style complex for this coming year. He didn't appear pissed at me about not taking his lease. I know he was asking people, because I had suggested to him about posting on a Facebook group related to announcements(selling books/looking for roommates/etc) which I noticed he posted.

 

@mhowe. Can you explain what you mean by if I "like" T more than his friends. Well T has been a close friend, and also one of his friend's R, whom I had mentioned in my original post here. We had good and bad times this past year, and I grew up with them pretty much the past few months.

 

I don't think he's all pissed at me because of not taking the lease, if he was, he'd saying it on the text messages. The thing that upsets me, is the fact that I give him space when he works during the week and I hit him up on a text to see if he's free, and he doesn't reply though he does read my texts. I had asked a guy that lives around his area I'll call G if knew anything about T, but G just tells me that T has been "busy" and with this girl. I can't really take much of the validity of G's statements at full face value. First, the girl that G told me that T is with last I heard, wasn't his girlfriend rather his best friend and just a long term FWB he had for a while, and he broke off the FWB thing was looking to get with an older girl. So I don't get that whole stuff. Second, G and T weren't friends last I checked. I don't know what sparked this sort of "friendship."

 

And I've asked my mutual friend R, whom T and I are friends with, if he's heard from T lately and he's mute on the subject when asked. I mean he and I texted a bit about the UFC fight from the 13th, the one with Cain defending his WHC title, and my friend R and I texted a bit about that fight. But when asked about T, he doesn't reply about it. I know that R had some issue that happen at our housing complex a few months back(February 2015) that was connected to T. T and R had some campus/housing violation and sanctions. R had to tell his parents about it of course, but I don't know if R's parents got ticked off, if T's name came up or what. Or maybe T and R had some falling out, because I don't get why R doesn't mention about T when I ask.

[mhowe]

I am wondering if you have platonic or romantic interest in T. You seem very preoccupied with his activities, his feelings, and his u responsiveness. If he doesn't text back, he's busy. I think, unless you really did something to offend him, that you are part of his posse, but not his closest friend.

[scorpion91]

I am wondering if you have platonic or romantic interest in T. You seem very preoccupied with his activities, his feelings, and his u responsiveness. If he doesn't text back, he's busy. I think, unless you really did something to offend him, that you are part of his posse, but not his closest friend.

 

If your aludding that I'm gay or something, let me clear that up. I'm not gay; I don't have a romantic interest in T. I have a platonic/bro friendship with T. I treated him like a younger brother I never had. And a while back or so, he considered me one of his closest friends. I'm not gay nor do I have romantic feelings for him. I'm not preoccupied with his life or whatever. I do have a life outside from waiting, I don't text him every second of the day. I haven't chilled with him since May 9, and he can't take the time to just text me and plan a day and time to hang out. That's all. I do have other people I chill with let me clear that up as well.

[scorpion91]

I texted T up today, and asked if he was free to check out the Grateful Dead concert simulcast at the theatres this weekend. I was inviting him and his off-an-on FWB(best female friend). His off-and-on FWB is sort of a Deadhead and I thought she'd be free. I texted him up, and he responded with some random text: "It'll make you happy to know that I just passed a creek called Woman Hollering.." I mean like, are you talking about." I mean, I wanted to know, are you free to chill or not. Then he replies back, "Sorry just got phone fixed." I'm like, well let me know if you are free or not. I mean, I haven't heard from him since May 24, and when he replies to my text, he types out this random bs on a text. I mean, what the hell was that. And Yes, the creek he referred to is real, its around the I-10E near Seguin, Texas. I do not know what the hell he was doing around there, nor do I have knowledge. He appears to just go around do his own the thing, and I'm clueless to know what he's doing. I'm his friend, I want to know if he's okay, and not keep in the damn loop for god's sake.

 

I'm going to give him his space, and text him up in a few days about watching the Grateful Dead concerts. I don't know, if he was driving on I10E if was near that creek or what, because I10E takes you to Houston, and that's where our mutual friend R lives. I asked R, if he was going over there because of that random bs text T sent me, but R didn't reply so I don't know. T can be a trip sometime honestly.

[mhowe]

I don't think he was responding to your text --- he may have been sending out a group text/SMS.

 

It really isn't your concern what he is doing in Texas. He appears to be living his life, enjoying his summer and doesn't feel the need to keep in touch with you. I think you value the friendship more than he does. And I think you need to stop putting R in the middle to explain T's activities to you.

[scorpion91]

I don't think he was responding to your text --- he may have been sending out a group text/SMS.

 

It really isn't your concern what he is doing in Texas. He appears to be living his life, enjoying his summer and doesn't feel the need to keep in touch with you. I think you value the friendship more than he does. And I think you need to stop putting R in the middle to explain T's activities to you.

 

Let me clear this up, every waking moment of my day, is not centered on T. I do not have romantic feelings for him. I consider him a friend, and even a younger brother. And he acknowledge a few months prior, that he considered me and R as "close friends."

 

I do give him space, and I respect that. I do have other people I know besides him, so let me clear that up.

 

It's not my business what he does on his time and dime, but I haven't seen him in a while and I wanted to chill sometime.

 

And "putting R in the middle" that's not my intention. I was asking him, if he heard from him. But he hasn't, I think T and R might've had some falling out from some campus violation thing. That was there own issue, I don't know if they had a falling out or not from that, I don't know.

 

I don't think T is ignoring me is not because he doesn't want nothing to do with me, he is probably busy. I recall his FWB(best female friend) had told me that, he does the same thing to her and "don't take it personally." I'm going to wait a few days or a week, and hit him up.