Jealous workmate?

[missm]

I'm new here (been reading for a long time, only just registered)

 

I'm a female and I work in a nearly all male environment and get on well with everyone. I've got a couple of good friends there whom I speak to a lot because I sit next to them all day.

 

About 2 months ago a new guy started and I helped train him. He seemed nice enough and we got on fine. I noticed over the last month he has become more friendly/bold with me i.e touching my shoulders as he walks past, poking me in my side and even making snide and childish comments about my male colleagues.

 

He makes jokes about them as though they fancy me and saying that they want to kiss me and that they stare at me (now, I'm not even interested in any of them so why would he say this? I'm not a flirty type of person, I just act myself and am friendly with people).

 

I noticed him the other day purposefully place himself between me and a workmate - almost like trying to split us up! He also asks a lot of questions about a particular workmate who I know well but nothing has ever gone on between us, we just get on as friends.

 

The thing is that I've seen him playing around with another female when I'm nearby (I just pretend I don't notice and carry on doing my work as I don't have time for games).

 

Anyway, we were talking on MSN (I've moved to another department so can't talk to him face-to-face that much) and after he tried to make out that one of my colleagues fancied me, he then admitted that he likes me and even said he loves me (I hope this was just a joke cos he hardly knows me!)

 

I asked if he likes the other girl and he was like "What? Er NO!" so do you think his flirting with her was a way to try and get me to notice him?

 

I do quite like him and he has a wicked sense of humour which I like but do you think he is likely to be a bit overly jealous if I were to go out with him? I'm quite independent and don't like clingyness from anyone and I was wondering if him being snide about my workmates is a red flag.

 

Thanks for reading and I'd appreciate any advice.

[cooldude1234]

hmmm. how old is he??? He sounds kind of immature, however, thats your call.

 

If you decide to go out with him, you must think, do you think the relationship will last longer than your job? Say, you go out for a month, and he gets really clingy so you break up with him, the workplace could be very akward, expecially if it's a bitter breakup. Allthough it might not happen that way. Just something to think about.

 

haha, You must be pretty hot, cause he might feel 'in love.' I have a friend who wants to marry one of my other friends cause she's really hot(infatuation) Which makes me wonder how much experience he has had with relationships.

 

It's really your decision, it might be fun. He sounds like a funny guy. I would take him out a few nights before you get into a relationship, though.

 

goodluck!

[missm]

Thanks for replying.

 

hmmm. how old is he??? He sounds kind of immature, however, thats your call.

 

He is 27. I guess it is immature but do you think he is just trying to see if I like anyone else before he makes a move?

 

If you decide to go out with him, you must think, do you think the relationship will last longer than your job? Say, you go out for a month, and he gets really clingy so you break up with him, the workplace could be very akward, expecially if it's a bitter breakup. Allthough it might not happen that way. Just something to think about.

 

Yes, I understand that and you're right, but at this stage I'm trying to work out what is going on in his head. Right now, I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons of this situation.

 

haha, You must be pretty hot, cause he might feel 'in love.' I have a friend who wants to marry one of my other friends cause she's really hot(infatuation) Which makes me wonder how much experience he has had with relationships.

 

I wouldn't consider myself hot, I'm just sure of myself and don't vie for male attention. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. What do you think? I like him because he has been up front with his intentions and that takes some guts which I respect.

 

It's really your decision, it might be fun. He sounds like a funny guy. I would take him out a few nights before you get into a relationship, though.

 

goodluck!

 

Thank you again and can I ask: Is it normal for a man to get jealous over someone who is just an aquaintance? He did ask me to go to lunch, so I should take him up on that and see what he is really like.

[DN]

Questions to ask yourself:

 

Are you attracted to him?

 

Is the attraction strong enough to overrule the red flags?

 

Is the attraction strong enough to overide the fall-out from seeing a colleague?

 

If you go out and find you are not attracted after all, how awkward is that going to be?

 

If you start dating and then decide to dump him later how much more awkward is that going to be?

 

Is he worth the bother of answering all the above questions in the first place?

[cooldude1234]

do you think he is just trying to see if I like anyone else before he makes a move?

Yeah, he's probably trying to figure out if you'll reject him or not. Understandable.

 

I'm just sure of myself and don't vie for male attention. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. What do you think?

Yeah thats definitely a good thing. hahaha. You said you were a pretty friendly(and outgoing) person and i think most guys are attracted to girls like that.

 

Is it normal for a man to get jealous over someone who is just an aquaintance? He did ask me to go to lunch, so I should take him up on that and see what he is really like.

I think "just an aquaintance" implies that there isnt a lot of attraction there, but he obviously is attracted to you. He likes you so yes, it is normal for him to be jealous. As far as lunch goes, why not? Just make sure he pays