SEMI positive update!

[frida]

I know not everyone cares but I wanted to post my little success story. A while ago I found out that my ex started seeing someone else. Its almost been 4 months since the break up and its really been an uphill battle. I wanted to work things out with him and he was just done, never came to talk to me ever again. We go to college together and have a class so its hard to completely avoid each other, but we don't really acknowledge each other when we see the other person. Since the break up he's completely changed, made new friends, joined a new group of people, and the girl he's seeing is everything he told he didn't like (fake nails, sorority, caked on make up, and fake tanned). I can't believe how much he's changed and it hurts so much. A week or two ago I admittedly was instagram stalking him and his new girl when I saw that they changed their profile pictures to one of both of them (we aren't friends on it because he made the account after the break up). At that moment it all felt so real, I could not believe who he had become. It was if I dated a complete stranger. Since then I stopped saying hi when I see him because it just hurt so much that he never came to talk to me after the break up, even though I tried to talk it out.

 

Well my little success story is that its been a little over a week and I haven't looked either one of them up on social media to see whats going on with them. I don't allow myself to check because it really doesn't matter. I don't know him anymore.

 

But at the same time, this past Friday I completely broke down. I read stories of couples who got back together, hoping it would be me. I sat in bed and just cried because I never thought that this would happen. I especially never expected him to change so much! I almost checked everything today but stopped. I stopped myself from checking and called my mom. It still hurts because I loved him so much and can't believe he's found another girl, but I'm working on me!

 

Thank you to everyone here! This has been a great help to moving forward.

 

Just need a little inspiration and insight to keep going. xx

[Clinton]

You're right on track to heal. It's often two steps forward one step back. Good for you on giving up stalking their social media. He's moved on and so should you. Looking at them will just cause pain

 

Keep moving forward. It does get a lot better.

[cbh1979]

When you feel yourself getting the urge to look at his Instagram, instead consider how much he's changed since and ask if THAT person is someone you'd be interested in. I've had the same thing happen, and truth be told it helped me move on when I learned how they weren't who I thought they were, how they'd presented themselves.

[frida]

When you feel yourself getting the urge to look at his Instagram, instead consider how much he's changed since and ask if THAT person is someone you'd be interested in. I've had the same thing happen, and truth be told it helped me move on when I learned how they weren't who I thought they were, how they'd presented themselves.

 

You're so right! I definitely don't want this new person in my life, I love the old him. What's your story? I've been struggling so much with the fact that he's changed so much! He's all into social media now, something he always said he hated, is dating a girl that is everything he use to say he hated, and is friends with people he use to dislike. How do I let go of all of this?

[frida]

You're right on track to heal. It's often two steps forward one step back. Good for you on giving up stalking their social media. He's moved on and so should you. Looking at them will just cause pain

 

Keep moving forward. It does get a lot better.

 

I love that...two steps forward and one step back is still progress, thank you!

[HeartGoesOn]

Be kind to yourself, and take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time...whatever it takes. When all is said and done, you'll still land on your feet.

[cbh1979]

You're so right! I definitely don't want this new person in my life, I love the old him. What's your story? I've been struggling so much with the fact that he's changed so much! He's all into social media now, something he always said he hated, is dating a girl that is everything he use to say he hated, and is friends with people he use to dislike. How do I let go of all of this?

 

So a few years ago, I was hung up on this woman I worked with. We talked a lot about work stuff, how poorly the company was run, etc, and she'd tell me how much she found the owner/boss disgusting on a personal level. Well, I got a new job, but still held out hope something would rekindle between the two of us...until I learned that she had begun sleeping with that very same boss. Blew me away. Anyway, that completely killed it for me...didn't see her the same way again and that was a good thing.

 

I think often people present a side of themselves that really isn't genuine, unfortunately. But even if it is, and they completely turn into someone new, the result is the same...it's a different person from the one you liked and usually not someone you'd be interested in. Focus on how he's not that guy anymore.

[frida]

Thank you so much for sharing! That is absolutely ridiculous. My ex became friends with this girl he use to say he couldn't stand is dating her friend who has all the things he use to say he disliked. Its crazy to see how someone can change before your very eyes - sometimes I don't even think they realize they're changing.

 

But you are so right!! He's a different person and thats what I should focus on.