Kah310392 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 My ex has just broken up with me yet again! We have been on and off for 5 years and every time he breaks up with me he doesn't give me any reason and tells me to leave it when I ask what it is. It makes my world crash though becaus he tells me to accept it but what am I supposed to accept? He told me he loved me a week ago and now it's like I don't exist. He's blocked me on social media and everything because he doesn't want to talk to me right now. So I've resulted in a letter of how I'm feeling but I don't even think he will read it. Link to comment
greta96 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 No, do not send any letters, do not contact him again. Let this be the last time you accept his BS and do not give in the next time he tries to get back with you. It is crazy to do the same thing over and over again, and expect a different result! You taught him that it's ok if he dumps you whenever he feels like it, and that whenever he graces you with his attentions, you will take him back no questions asked. Come on, you can do better than that (I think). On and off for 5 years does not a successful relationship make. It has disaster written all over, and it's time you ended the madness and moved on. How many more years are you willing to waste on this clown? He doesn't care about your feelings or your letters, he is probably dating other women during your breakups, and comes back to you every time these other women don't work out. Is that what you want, to be his safety net, his last resort? Hopefully you value yourself more than that. Bid this unhealthy relationship goodbye forever and don't look back! Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 I lost his baby last year and when we broke up he said he wanted nothing more than to give me a child and he wanted my child, and was begging for me back but I wasn't having any of it and I gave in, in January. He spent two months trying to prove that he wanted to be with me then out of the blue said its not going to work again the same as always. I probably do deserve better but it's very hard. My letter is already sent to him and I feel a bit stupid for doing it now as he will get it tomorrow and he's just blocked me on everything. Not sure what your supposed to do when u care and love for somebody so much. I'm sick of him not giving me the reasons all of the time. He tells me to move on every time he does this but then doesn't let me. Sabotages things when I date or coming back to me saying he loves me. His family hate me for no reason his friends don't like me and I haven't even met some of them as he has new friends that aren't really on my wave length. Link to comment
MapleCanuck Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Listen, on and off for 5 years means you spent five years in a bad relationship. You want a relationship where being on is a given. Life is too short. Go out and find someone who value's you. Link to comment
greta96 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 No, it won't be easy, but it's a must at this point. He's just playing with you, and gets a rise out of this cat-and-mouse game, which also indicates he might have some mental issues that go beyond him just being a jerk. All you need to do is follow his advice and move on. Without looking back, this time. Just look at what you`re teaching him: that it`s ok for him to step all over you, to disrespect you, to discard you whenever he pleases, that he can pretty much do all the bad things he feels like doing, and you'd still be there ready to take him back with open arms. That's the worst thing you could do. By sending that letter, you are just reinforcing the idea in his head that yes, you want him back and will take him back as soon as he finishes whatever he's up to right now. The smart thing to do (if you insist on having this clown in your life) would have been to block him yourself everywhere, so that he doesn't know what you think and how you feel, and worry that this time you may actually move on. This is the kind of shake he needs, not you pledging your undying love for him! But hopefully he's out of your life for good, and you may not realize it now, but that would be the best thing to ever happen to you. You don't sound like you have the strength to stand up to him, so him actually moving on would be a blessing in disguise for you. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 The letter isn't confessing my undying love for him it's how he's made me feel doing this for the third and final time. I'm planning to move to Wales in the next couple of weeks to temporarily move me out of the situation of going back by going to family and getting a temporary job there. Because no maybe I'm not strong enough to walk away by choice but I want to be the one in control because I know for whatever reason he will probably try to come back again whether it's a few weeks or months. All he cares about is his weekends getting too drunk and on 48 hour benders let alone women for a serious relationship Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 He does this because he can, and because it works. This guy has absolutely no respect for you, and will continue to stomp on your feelings for as long as he can. Link to comment
greta96 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The letter isn't confessing my undying love for him it's how he's made me feel doing this for the third and final time. I'm planning to move to Wales in the next couple of weeks to temporarily move me out of the situation of going back by going to family and getting a temporary job there. Because no maybe I'm not strong enough to walk away by choice but I want to be the one in control because I know for whatever reason he will probably try to come back again whether it's a few weeks or months. All he cares about is his weekends getting too drunk and on 48 hour benders let alone women for a serious relationship Good for you, I think moving is a great idea, and you're absolutely right, you will feel much better if you are the one in control. The guy sounds very toxic, and you have no idea yet how much your life will improve, once you get him out of your system. Link to comment
goddess Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Sorry to say this but he sounds like an inconsiderate, self-centered, thoughtless, stupid jerk. You don't need (or want) someone like that in your life. Greta96 said it all. He uses you like a dish rag. Please have some respect for yourself and move on. Sounds like you've already made some good plans. Now execute them; you will be happier. Relationships are all about communicating and this jerk doesn't even give you an answer as to why he leaves. Really? And, you put up with it? No, girl, leave this loser behind. You are way too good for him. Link to comment
sailsup555 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Ive been a somewhat similar situation (2 years on/off) where he also gave no reasons for breaking it off. I know what i have trouble with is i just dont understand and want to know (in his mind) what i am doing wrong that he feels he cant be with me. However you have to remember that just because you are a good person doesnt mean everyone else will be a good person and just because you think and were raised a certain way doesnt mean everyone was.. Let him see what life really is like without you there and maybe he'll come around and grow up or maybe you'll figure out that being without him actually is better. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Do you think if you'd had the baby this twerp would have been a good father? Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Yes the hardest part about the break up is the fact I don't know why he has done it the no contact is very hard for me and it's only been 2 days I find my fingers twitching at my phone wanting to say this, that and the other. I find him heartless that he can just block me out. Is it painful for him too because so many people are against our relationship. I mean his family hate me for no reason, they can't even give the reasons. We are so completely different in aspects, but also completely the same. I think sometimes maybe we are at different stages in our lives and that could be a big problem as well. And yes I believe if my baby was okay he would have been a fantastic father because he has a child already from a previous and he's fantastic with that child. Link to comment
Kah310392 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Yes the hardest part about the break up is the fact I don't know why he has done it the no contact is very hard for me and it's only been 2 days I find my fingers twitching at my phone wanting to say this, that and the other. I find him heartless that he can just block me out. Is it painful for him too because so many people are against our relationship. I mean his family hate me for no reason, they can't even give the reasons. We are so completely different in aspects, but also completely the same. I think sometimes maybe we are at different stages in our lives and that could be a big problem as well. And yes I believe if my baby was okay he would have been a fantastic father because he has a child already from a previous and he's fantastic with that child. Link to comment
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