JackJackxD Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Today has just been a pretty hard day today, and I really need to vent. Does anyone get this feeling that, you want to tell your Ex that they aren't perfect, and that they have done something wrong too? My Ex has been avoiding me like the plague in the past few months, and even talks about my flaws with our mutual friends. But never once, does she realize that she has done something wrong in the relationship too! It makes me feel so wronged, like I am the bad guy who takes the blame for the entire break-up. Right now I feel like I've treated my Ex too well, and maybe to the point that she took me being nice for granted, and that she can step all over me. She said that I don't care for her feelings, but how can I understand her feelings when she just disappear and go quiet whenever we have an argument!? Whenever she gets angry at me, she would just cut all communication, sometimes for days. Eventually one of us would reach out, apologise (mostly me) and act like nothing has happened. When I have a problem, she would get angry at me for having a problem and go quiet too! At the end of the day I just couldn't get angry at her for those things, and as soon as I see her again all the problems just flew over my head. She said that I made her insecure, but how could I make you her insecure if she weren't insecure about herself in the first place? When I said that somebody is good looking, it is exactly what it means, nothing more! Just because my definition of "good looking" isn't the same as hers, it doesn't mean that I don't find her attractive too! Nor does it mean that she had to compare herself with them. I've tried explaining it times after times, but it just ends with her being upset and getting angry at me. I just wish that I could say the things above to her, so she can understand that she has done something wrong too. A relationship is a two-way street, and both of us contributed to the break up. It puts me in a lot of pain when I have to take the position of the bad-guy, when simply my only fault was that we weren't compatible. Despite all these things, I stupidly still have feelings for her. It is like, I am scared that she may find someone else that could actually change her for the better, and at the same time I am upset over the fact that maybe she just didn't love me enough to change for me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 No one should ever have to change for someone else. It is a signal of incompatibility. Link to comment
JackJackxD Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 No one should ever have to change for someone else. It is a signal of incompatibility. I hope that my ex understands this and stop treating me like the worst human alive. It is upsetting, under any circumstances, to be blamed for everything that has gone wrong. It is tiring having to shoulder all this hatred. The fact that the person who hates you now, was someone whom you cared for and cared about you just hurts even more. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 People who are listening don't believe every word. Everyone knows that both parties are at fault in a break up. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It sounds like a toxic relationship. Instead of dwelling on what she's saying about you, rejoice in the fact that it's not true! How much worse would it be if it were true? Besides, you don't need someone like that. Be grateful that you two aren't together anymore. Focus on yourself and heal. Try not to put any more effort into this. Look forward. Good luck. Link to comment
cbh1979 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Ex's-dumpers especially-feel the need to talk bad about their former partner to elevate themselves. But telling her she wasn't perfect wouldn't accomplish much. Link to comment
psshep Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I feel your pain, my breakup was nearly three months ago. I was dumped for not making her feel loved and wanted. She has put all the blame on me but like you i feel she is as much to blame. She never told me how she felt, I was supposed to read her mind. Since we split we have slept together many times, only for her to get pissed at me afterwards for letting it happen even tho she was totally willing. I Wrote her a letter a while back when I was angry telling her she was as much to blame, but I felt bad afterwards, but only cause im too nice, still care about her and want her back. Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 It doesn't sound toxic. It sounds like perhaps she was insecure and maybe (I don't know your full story) you shouldn't have just walked away from it. Im assuming you ended it? Perhaps you could have worked through it. Have you been in touch with her? How do you know she's not just giving you space because she thinks that's the right thing to do. What is she saying to mutual friends? It sounds to me like you still care and maybe I'm wrong in my understanding and maybe I'm wrong to suggest it but could you not talk it through and see if it's worth another shot? Link to comment
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