i need to know if i have a chance still? can we get back together in the future?

[ttgg88]

Me and her met in a restaurant working to together. I was there first and then she came. I had known from that point I would love her. We were cool as friends. She and another girl were messing with these other coworkers. So I just befriended her. Well he messed up. By talking to other girls or whatever. So then I felt it was a great time to confess my love for her. We ended up together for 2 1/2 years. This would have been our third year.

 

Into the relationship it was kinda of hard because I was cool with the guy she used to talk to. It was so bent over getting her back. So me and her decided to kinda hide our relationship. People knew but only what we allowed. So this was frustrating. She thought I flirted with other girls when I was only being nice. She had acknowledged her jealousy. I knew.

 

On my side I was only used to temporary so I made a dumb mistake of cheating. Yes I did. I was so scared of long-term that I actually ran from it. She was so different in a good way. I mean we had our problems but she was just awesome. By this time we had different jobs. She was at a hospital and I was at another restaurant. I talked to a girl there (Melanie) and had sex with her once. I told her about that. We worked through it. Both of us are extremely stubborn so it made it that much harder. She became extremely clingy and I understood it. I mean she had every right to be.

 

As time went on we made new memories. I loved her daughter as if she were mine. She would call me dad. Made me so happy but afraid as well. This was only because I knew I wanted a future with her and her daughter. But I still kinda ran. Talking to girls that I didn't tell her about. I did nothing with them! Just didn't communicate. All I was used to was temporary and me talking to those other girls was exactly what that was. Instead of telling the one I love this I shut down. Meaning I didn't tell her or didn't trust she would know what to do. I was a extremely wrong. It was always something.

 

So Melanie from the restaurant would become a stalker and see this as a battle. So I would change my number she would find it. Till one day I actually walked out because I didn't want to be apart of it anymore and I did this so that my girl wouldn't worry so much. But every time things were going good she her number would pop up. And I'm stuck trying to explain how it got there. I wanted to but nothing...I had nothing. My girl was hurt so bad.

 

So we are doing good now. She became extremely clingy and I did as well. We both loved each other's company though. So about 4 months ago thing we're good. We just got clingy so when we wanted each other's company we wanted exactly that. We expected each other to come through. She was extremely Busy but times she did want me there I decided not to because I wanted just her. So that was my fault. Or did she know I wouldn't want to come? Anyway I tried so hard and kept trying. The day we were supposed to chill she brought me food and I thought we were chilling but since her sisters boyfriend DID not show up to take the little girls to see Santa my girl had to go. Pissed me off completely. I texted her a group of words that I would regret forever. I said I think we should split up. I was only mad because I wanted her. I thought it would bring her to me. Yes this is extremely wrong I know. Treating someone is not what you do when you love them like there is no tomorrow. She accepted it.

 

We were still talking after the break up. I felt as though she dumped me. I did everything a dumpee would do. Letters...flowers....text...everything. She texted me one day said look we can Make this work. So I was so happy. Things were kinda good. I mean I still hadda give her space. Then one day she is confused. About everything! How is this possible. We were in love now she is confused?

 

Since I have changed which is why I don't really regret this happening. I know that I was running from my fears. I needed to lock myself in a room and let change thrust upon me. I understood why I felt how I felt and how my masculinity effected alottttt. But I have made some mistakes as well. My first mistake is trying to hard. This was on both of us because she sent so many mixed signals. We both made plans to get a second car and house. Now that is not even a choice. Second mistake is I got drunk seen her car at someone else house by a mutual friend of ours. Like I never knew this person or a friend of hers stayed there. She never told me. I called her basically asking for closure. She was very mad. Third mistakes was I posted a text message from this girl I was talking to. She is very interested in me as I am not her. So I posted it out of anger. My ex friends told me she needed to another girl trying to get with me. And that no girl wants a guy who wants them. Before this I blocked her so she wouldn't see. Didn't work.

 

Since her ex has been talking her about a break up he going through. So she has been talking to him about us. Since this has happened he has been telling me everything. I have had more closure from her talking to him and the Things she say. Like I'm done or I can't be in a relationship anytime soon. But that's not what I got. She sent me text from him and her. Saying basically I can't talk to you because I'm working on things with him(me) and then come tell me something like I'm confused. Huh? So he called the night I got drunk and told me she had another dude. Messed up right. Then sent me all of my ex and him Talking text messages. And I'm pretty sure he sent the post I put up of me and that new girl talking.

 

I text her apologizing for her seeing those messages. Basically told me to leave her alone and that she didn't believe anything I said. She has changed her number. but all of our pictures and statuses are up on Twitter and instagram. What does this mean?.

 

Also I did no contact she broke it. I got Emotional again. them text me one and said she misses me but it's like a weight lifted off her shoulder when we don't talk. And that time has helped. So like I said she changed her number. Because of me? Or because she feels she can't move on properly with her being reminded of me everyday. And people in her business such as friends and her ex.

[Clinton]

Same answer as last time you posted this. Leave her be and straighten yourself out. Be on your own for awhile and heal. No good can come of continuing to pursue this.

[mhowe]

She changed her number!!

 

I think it is clear she doesn't want to hear from you.

[Betteralready]

Ttgg, a lot of people took the time to read your (long and jumbled) story before. We provided thoughtful responses.

Why do you think posting again is going to yield different feedback?

[ttgg88]

This is true a lot of people have tried helping me. Believe me it's not taken in vain. Im doing something wrong in keeps triggering the most painful part of me. I cant stop thinking about her. I try reading, gym time, going with friends, volunteering at the hospital, even picked up a second job. You see I try and find happiness in these Things in which I very much do. I can't help but know and learn from what I did wrong but yet the feeling is to overwhelming. It's my first time I ever felt this way. Ever. I pray and ask God to strengthen me because I know he will never put more on you than you can bear. But it's hard. And I still have other ways to contact her...I don't though. I look at Twitter and instagram for pictures of us together as a escape and some type of insurance that somethin is still there because they are still there. I think that's a big part In it. Also I chill with mutual friends and that's a big part to. she definitely took a part of me. I just have so many questions that I ponder on and I have no answers to them. we didn't break up for me cheating yet that's the issue at hand. can't help but think were we would have been if I wouldn't have said I split up...it's very frustrating and confusing and painful.

[mhowe]

It isn't confusing...it is very clear.

Stop using social media to fellow her and get on with your life.

She no longer wishes to be in any contact with you.

[Clinton]

It's tough but we all have to go through the pain in order to heal. Time will remove the pain but only if you accept it's over and move on.

 

If you keep trying to contact her or follow her on social media you'll delay your healing.

[ttgg88]

She changed her number!!

 

I think it is clear she doesn't want to hear from you.

 

Yea I know but think about it....her ex was kinda the cause for the last two incidents...how he got her number? Idk. Then like our friends was like you know trying to help the situation. And she felt as if people were in her business. The friend that told me she need to see me talking to another girl...doesn't even have her new number...only can talk through Facebook. Which I don't have but she blocked both my brothers. When I told her he sent me all of there text her response was" I'm sorry this happened you should block your number because he's trying to start . I'm going to be changing my number soon." Then her ex sends the pictures of the text between me Another female. You see for her it was like she was constantly gettin reminded of Things.

[ttgg88]

It's tough but we all have to go through the pain in order to heal. Time will remove the pain but only if you accept it's over and move on.

 

If you keep trying to contact her or follow her on social media you'll delay your healing.

I understand...but I in no way try to contact her. Thing is my phone is in her name. I changed my number before She changed hers. I most certainly want to move on. I just get up to look at the pics...which is the not the way. I cancelled the flowers I had going There. No need to send.

[mhowe]

Take your phone off her plan and pay for it yourself.

[Betteralready]

Ttgg, it looks like every piece of advice given is met with "yes, but . . ." from you.

 

Most of us on here know what you're going through. It hurts. Even when you do all of the things you're "supposed" to do, it still hurts. Experiencing the pain is part of the healing process. I'm just learning that, too. It sucks horribly but it's true.

 

Ultimately, you're going to decide how to behave, and whether you want to approach this the healthy way, or the destructive way. You've read the solicited advice, but you always have an excuse.

It doesn't matter who else meddled in the relationship. It doesn't matter who texted what to whom. It doesn't matter what she said about so-and-so two weeks ago.

 

What matters is that right now she does not want to be with you, and you have to walk away and heal BY YOURSELF.

 

Will you get back together with her in the future? None of us knows. But we have enough experience to tell you that getting caught up in all of that craziness is hurting you more than it's helping. Just STOP.

 

I sincerely hope that your life works out for the best!

[overthemoon86]

ttgg, this thread looks awfully familiar...and it's being greeted with the same advice. STOP STOP STOP. This isn't doing you any good, you sound desperate and panicked. The relationship is over, it's done. Stop contacting her, stop wondering what she is doing. You need to move on and focus on yourself.

[Glen1987]

Yesterday and today have been the first days I have stopped looking at pictures of my ex. That's probably a progress of some sorts. You need to do the same, because it's hurting you more than doing any good. Seriously, what positive is going to come from any of this?

I assume you want your ex to respect you? Well right now she probably thinks you're an annoying prat. Seriously, grab a hold of yourself, do something positive (even if it agonises you) and she will see you in a positive light, not now maybe, but somewhere down the line.