mrtumus Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 The person I became pregnant with is my best friend. We just started to move from friendship to a more intimate relationship when I discovered I was pregnant. At first everything between us was new we weren't really 'dating' but were intimate. He went on vacation for two weeks and I saw that he was also getting involved with other women. ( He had a hickey during one of our skype sessions) I decided he wasn't serious and in fear of getting hurt I became distant. Which he noticed and kept apologizing for his actions. I spoke to him about ending things but Shortly after I discovered I was pregnant. We decided to have an abortion. He is extremely supportive and caring through this entire situation but I can't help but hate him. A part of me blames him for what happened a part of me hates myself for this happening with a guy I don't love. I don't know if it is because I am distant now or because of the pregnancy but he is more persistent on pursuing a relationship now. He keeps mentioning how much he wants to be with me and how he cares for me etc etc but there is something that has changed inside me. I don;t feel anything when I kiss him or when he holds me anymore...is because of what he did while on vacation or because of this abortion? I have always had this fear of being hurt so its very hard for me to get close to anyone and once someone hurs me I do tend to completely shut them out. Perhaps that is why I am acting like this? Link to comment
faraday Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I thought that the general consensus in the last few threads about this was that he was using you and didn't really care to have a relationship with you. I know right now he's pursuing you...my guess would be it's out of guilt. This guy is not bf material. Your intuition is going off like crazy here and you're trying to talk yourself back into accepting this guys horrid behaviour. Link to comment
mrtumus Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 I thought that the general consensus in the last few threads about this was that he was using you and didn't really care to have a relationship with you. I know right now he's pursuing you...my guess would be it's out of guilt. This guy is not bf material. Your intuition is going off like crazy here and you're trying to talk yourself back into accepting this guys horrid behaviour. I think deep inside I don't want to accept that I was used because that just hurts and makes me feel like I am such an idiot for falling for this guy...for actually believing that he was a good guy. And you are right deep inside I know is wrong and i should stay away but i keep tryng to push that feeling away trying to convince myself that he is good. Link to comment
faraday Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 So just decide to be different. Decide your value yourself more than the scraps he's willing to give you. This isn't the guy who will marry you. He's not going to be a consistently decent and good bf....he might do it every once in a while when he thinks he's going to lose you...but the rest of the time, he'll do whatever he wants...because he knows that you'll tolerate mediocrity. You teach people how to treat you. Teach him his behaviour is unacceptable by walking away and meeting someone else....and not looking back. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 there is something that has changed inside me. I don;t feel anything when I kiss him or when he holds me anymore... This is all you need to walk away. Analyzing this doesn't solve the problem. The problem is staying attached to someone you don't want to be with --so stop being with him. Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 He is not going to change into the man you want him to be. Don't let him treat you this way by walking away and valuing yourself. Link to comment
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