She likes me, i'm very lost, i need YOUR help !

[cou10]

I'm new to this thread-thing, and I really need help from a neural point of view!

Okay so i guess this is a pretty complicated unusual "relationship" i have with her, but i would really appreciate it if you could help me out by giving your view/opinion on this

 

The background briefly:

There's a girl (17) with whom I (18) talked the last summer. She has had a crush on me for a very long time, before and after the summer.

I'm not the very best looking guy (I'm not ugly either), but I consider myself to be a good person and down-to-earth. I listen to everyone, I care about everyone, I help anyone I can, anyone can come talk to me. So I believe I'm the "he has a great personality"-type of guy, rather than "damn he is hot"-type. I have a low self-confidence, and it is very rare that someone has a crush on me ...

For my standards she is really good-looking, I guess she generally is. She is great, I really enjoy talking to her and I guess she cares about me.

And yeah I have never been in a real relationship and I'm a virgin. Not that I haven't had a chance to lose it, I'm just not bothered by it, I'd rather lose it to someone I really care about. I'm in no hurry.

 

But yeah, I was away the entire summer, and despite talking with her 24/7 via whatsapp and her sending me half-nude pictures and telling me how she wanted me to be there and do everything possible with me, she went on to sleep with her ex-boyfriend. The ex was a total idiot, the only thing he has used her for is sex. ( I know she might sound like a sl ut, but she has had sex with only that one guy, and apparently sent pics like that only to me). I didn't really have feelings or anything for her before we started talking, but in the summer slowly I started liking her. But when she told about what she did with him (she asked me for advice because they didn't use protection...) I quite lost it. I was so pissed, as I felt we had something and that she was kind of cheating on me. We were everything but "official". I know we weren't official or anything but I just couldn't forgive her, and I still haven't. She said it didn't mean anything and she just "used" him. We still kept talking shortly after it, but it was never going to be the same again. I felt like a total idiot, even though I enjoyed talking with her. She tried to fix things, kept asking sorry, but I just couldn't forget it all. She then told me that she loves me and that she would never ever think of her ex if we would start dating. Well I kind of "friendzoned" her then, but not in a harsh way. Then slowly I we sort of started separating and of had a break of all of that.

3 months later, in december we started talking again, and I enjoyed it to be honest. We talked throughout Christmas and New Year time. She then told me how she liked me and how I was the only one she cared about etc. Even though I really like talking with her, I just can't forget what she did to me in the summer, how she made me feel by ing her ex. I can't help it. She has been begging for forgiveness ever since, but I can't forgive her. She often complains how her ex is flirting with her best friend. I don't know, I guess she is still not over him. When ever I think of me and her being together I imagine her ex coming between us. You know the feeling you have when you have a crush on someone and every time you see her/him your heart skips a beat and how she/he is the best thing on earth. Well I don't feel about her that way, but she does about me. I guess I kind of like her, but I just can't do anything with her. I know I sound like a little and some may say I should forget about the past, but it isn't that simple.

 

What should I do?? I like talking to her, she is really pretty, she likes me a lot, but I don't see her exactly the same. She is cool, but I just can't forget what she did to me that summer. You could say that she is in the "friendzone", but yeah, I don't know what to do

What would you if you were me ?

If something like that was bothering you, could you just let it go and go on ?

Would you give her a chance? Or better, would you give someone who made you feel like she made me a second chance, keeping in mind that she still possibly has feelings for her idiot ex ?

 

Thank you soooo much for reading Again, I would really appreciate it if you could just briefly comment what you would do and why/why not?

[mhowe]

She isn't who you believe/want her to be. She led you along..and sent nude photos to you while still being with her ex.

 

She will do the same to you, given the chance. She is a serial dater who lines up her next victim before leaving her current connection.

 

Grab some self respect and take a pass on this one.

[stuka80]

Hey i can't blame you for getting hurt and not being able to forgive for the time being, I would feel the exact same way to be honest. I'm the type of person that when i'm interested in someone, i dont bother having side flings, i only concentrate on that person and when they dont do the same for me, then it really kills my perception of that person. It really depends though on how she's reacting to this situation. Does it seem genuine? She seems to really be into you though, but if you're not really feeling it, then just put her on the backburner and give it some time. if she's still into you and enough time has passed where the sex between her and the ex isn't bothering you anymore then you can resume what you guys had and push for more. Just give it some time.

[LC8328]

You say she isn't 'easy' but she slept with her ex and sent you racy pics without you two officially being together. Then she 'softens' the blow by saying she was only using him. Um, that doesn't make anything better. Quite the opposite actually.

 

She is giving you a LOT of attention right now, and in my opinion it's because she's jealous of her ex flirting with her best friend. If he turned the attention on her instead, I'm sure things would be different between you and her.

 

She is much too immature to be a respectable partner for you. I'm very glad that you decided to wait to lose your virginity. Keep holding to that.

 

You remind me a lot of my son and you're about the same age. I'm telling you what I tell him all the time: To wait, don't waste your time with girls like this.