Does your personality change after break-up?

[JackJackxD]

The background story is that I was dumped out of a 2.5 years relationship, it has been 4 months since my break-up. I have not yet fully healed from the relationship, and it still upsets me when I see my Ex/thinks about her.

 

I recently just noticed some changes in my personality, and was wondering if this happened to anyone else who just had a break-up. So I was watching some anime (yes I am a bit of an anime fan and it got to this really sad part where this woman started regretting how she treated her children badly when she is in her after-life. My eyes started tearing up and I felt so emotional that I actually broke down in tears. This has never happened to me before! I was the type of guy who rarely cried, I mean it! I did not even cry when my granddad past away a few years ago. When my mother would cry from watching TV dramas, I would simply say "It is only a show". I am actually in shock right now that I cried, and I feel so un-masculine! (if that is a word).

 

There are other things that has changed too. For example, I've became so carefree when it comes to money. I buy whatever I want now, and I do not care about the prices like I used to. Also I seem to make a lot less jokes now when I talk with friends. Instead I would bring up some slightly more serious topics rather than making them laugh all the time.

 

It feels like I am me, but at the same time I am not me. Grr this is so strange, did this happen to anyone here too?

[Patrick974]

You mean changing toward your ex? Of course its normal to be mad at someone who dumped you. My solution is to not stay friend so I Can heal and move on.

[sarah18]

My break up changed me a bit too. I was a lot more lighthearted without my ex and all of the fighting and drama that came with it. I think I am a little more careless with money too, actually. And I also feel more daring. It's like I'm less afraid of the world and I feel that I need to take advantage of opportunities I am given. Surviving the intense pain from the breakup makes me feel like I can endure a lot more, and that's almost made me less cautious. Very odd.

 

About you tearing up, I think you can probably relate more to the extreme emotional pain you've been going through, so when you see someone, TV character or real, you can probably relate more to their pain and it reminds you of yours in a way.

I think you joking less might just be a phase, with time your happiness will increase. It's been 8 months for me. Hang in there, keep focusing on yourself

[catfeeder]

It's actually good that you're becoming more sensitive. Compassion and empathy come with maturity. Breakups and losses tenderize us and can make us better people with others over time. Sure, it's more 'comfortable' to plow through life not caring who's toes we step on, but this can lead to a lonely state as we age and recognize that others our age have grown a conscience and tend to only associate with like minded people.

 

So in a sense, you're expanding your social skills by learning how to hurt. You'll be less likely to cause hurt to others, and this is a good thing.

[pippy longstocking]

Oh yes ...people change a lot ... some go through different changes as they go through each part of the grieving process ...

 

for example , you often see people on here who are going through the anger stage .. you can tell by their posts that they are angry with men/women , angry with life , just plain angry and that does comeout in a persons personality ...

 

the longer effects are hopefully good ones ...I dont think there is anything wrong with how you are reacting to things ..your empath skills have suddenly come forth .. you are feeling the emotions of others , even on a tv show ... I have become a lot more weepy as I have gotten older ..be it real life or the tv and my personality has undoubtedly changed as I have experienced more and more ....