herewegoagain Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 I just found out tonight that my ex gf got engaged at Christmas. She dumped me at the beginning of August, and is already engaged. Wow!!! I found out that she met this guy while we were still together. Anyway, we were together for 4 years, and I was about to get engaged with her, but she dumped me and moved on (obviously)!!! I kind of feel relieved because that is definitely closure, but at the same time, it's kind of shocking. Oh well, life goes on. Things happen for a reason. It's just kind of weird that after only 5 months, she is engaged already!!! wow!!! Link to comment
ang3l2004 Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Wow I dont really know what to say but move on and just be happy the best you can,Now you know that she is seein someone else and that is def closure so just move on the best you can best of luck Link to comment
Mun Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Wow ! It sounds like she was definitely ready to get married and found someone who moved at her pace. Maybe she was not right for you. Good luck in the future. Link to comment
FiveHorizons Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 If I was a betting man, I'd bet this marriage, if it happens, will end sooner then later. You're better off. Link to comment
BushCheney04 Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Count your lucky stars, my friend, she did you a big favor! Don't be shocked, show some gratitude here. Call her up on the phone and congratulate her and the "lucky" fellow. I might even send her a thank you card...whew! Link to comment
Outlaw2747 Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Look at it this way, you no longer have to worry about her 2 timing you again. She found someone else to be a turncoat to. Glad you are just moving on my friend, congratulations. Link to comment
herewegoagain Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 thanks to all. I know I have to forget about her, but it's just kind of hurtful to me that everything is just fine with her, and I'm still alone. I always used to believe that what comes around, goes around, but obviously she is doing just fine. I just wish she would get a taste of her own medicine, but I know that's not the right attitude. I guess I should be glad for her. As a side note, i heard from a mutual friend that they may even get married this March, or in the summer!!! WOW - that is moving pretty quick. Link to comment
Strandysmommy Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 I agree that the marriage prolly won't last too long. After all, what if she meets someone? Apparently she just can't help herself! Link to comment
herewegoagain Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 good point strandysmommy. Link to comment
HajiMaji Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Dude, if i found out my ex was engaged id probably feel real hurt So, hopefully i never find that out. Honestly though everythings not perfect with her or her relationship. Keep that in mind. You two are in the same boat - hell we all are in the same boat - so dont sweat it. The fact you are alone right now doesnt mean you are in a worse situation. Infact i bet most of us here would say you are in a better place to be emotionally. Link to comment
ajk Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 i really feel for you. i agree with whoever said that if she did two-time you, then you are really better off. engaged after five months is way too soon in a situation like that...she has issues. you don't want to be with her. my roommate's ex did the same exact thing to her. he met someone while they were still together. they really only broke up in june, and he proposed to the woman last month...they're getting married in may. ridiculous. but it really points out how much better off she is without him. Link to comment
herewegoagain Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 ajk -- wow - that is very similar to what happened with me. It is ridiculous! I just can't imagine myself doing such a thing. What really makes me feel bad is that she was looking for reasons to break up with me. I wish she was just honest with me, and told me that she met someone else. But instead, she said I didn't do this right, didn't appreciate her, didn't do that right, etc. stc. Link to comment
skynet74 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Did you ever notice they never tell you about the problems during the relationship when they can still be fixed. Instead... they wait till after when it's to late. People really need to learn how to Communicate! John Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Well, at least it will help you move on. Don't think that she was necessarily not being honest when she left you about "why"...she may have met this guy, but not been involved with him, but in knowing him it MAY have set her off to reanaylze what she did have with you. Likely when she met him she was feeling dissatisfied already...it is when we are at low points we are open to others. If she was truly feeling like all was alright she would not of been open to someone else. And she may have been looking for a reason to get out, but not had a concrete one...other than it does not just feel right to her. I have been in relationships where something was just "not right" though there was nothing really WRONG either. 5 months is fast, but only in relevance to others experiences, or to your beliefs about what is too fast. For some 5 months is all they need to know they want to be with someone forever. A lot of it is about not only finding the right person, but about timing, and both being in the same place in your lives and sharing same goals. For example, I always thought you should not live with someone for at least 1 year into your relationship..however when I met my partner it was only a few weeks in when we started discussing living together. And he will be moving in in less than two weeks now, less than 3 months into it all. Things change So maybe this guy is right for her, and we should not judge her based on this...it is not a major character flaw to fall in love with someone! As much as it hurts you, maybe they are just right together, and she feels right about it....so just be careful how you judge someone based on how fast they move. I know how easy it is when they are an ex though! But hopefully this gives you the closure you need to move forward, good luck! Link to comment
ajk Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 raykay-- in defense to saying that five months seems too fast for his ex to get engaged, it is solely based on the details here. she's blamed him for his behavior, but clearly hasn't looked at her own. 'too fast' means that she hasn't evaluated herself enough to have a good relationship. she started this other relationship immediately and probably while in the relationship with him, and then blamed him for the breakup. don't make the guy feel worse! there is definitely something to be said for taking the time to heal and get to know yourself better before starting new relationships, for both parties involved in a breakup. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I agree with that...but also don't forget we only do get the one side...in my experience for women at least, they often let the other person know things are bothering them for a while before they break it off, and try to fix things..sometimes the other party does not take it as seriously..maybe that is why "blame" was placed. We do not know how she felt in after in her alone time and whether she blamed herself or not on her own time, or whether she really had in her own way tried to fix things by telling him she was not happy, etc. And I agree you need time to heal, but sometimes people who felt they tried everything, and finally realized they needed to walk away already came to terms with it before the break up. And, it does not mean it won't work out for her in the end is all I am saying. I am just trying to say one should not worry what SHE is doing, as he needs to put himself first right now Link to comment
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