will it hurt when he starts dating someone else even if i've moved on?

[opalmind]

Background Info: I left my ex of 3 years just under 2 months ago because he didn't make an effort and upset me most of the time that we were together.

 

Anyway even though I was the dumper I took the break up very hard.

But recently I've been dealing with the break up a lot better and can feel myself moving on. I know I've still got a long way to go though as it's only just becoming 2 months since the break up and we were together for a long time.

 

I know that I'll get over him eventually, hopefully sooner than I expected because I'm coping a lot better than I thought I would do.

 

I recently thought that he was dating again already but a friend told me that he's not (I didn't ask). Anyway I've asked for my friends not to mention him to me anymore so that I can move on properly, and I have no intention of trying to find out if he's dating again now or in the future because tbh I'd rather just not know.

 

But in the future once I've moved on and if I happen to somehow find out that he's with someone else will it still hurt? Even if it's been a long time afterwards and I felt like I'd moved on. I don't want to move on, then be hit with the news and fall back into this terrible cycle of crying and anger and hurt that I felt at the very start of this year.

[mhowe]

There is no way to know. However...if you have truly moved on you won't care if he is dating.

[Dcgent]

Your question is up for you to answer. We can't answer your emotions. Don't worry about matters like these, worry about how you want your future to be instead. Focus on the future..YOUR future.

[junebug123]

If you've moved on you will see him just as a friend and be glad for him that he has found someone who can make him happy. If you still have feelings, you will get jealous and possessive wishing that he was miserable at having lost you. It all comes down to ego, the moment you realize that you no longer require his presence to feel happy, is the moment you will start to find things which do make you happy and focus on those things instead.

 

Some people never move on, such is life.

[jimthzz]

You've gotten yourself in a trap. You don't want him, but you don't want anyone else to want him either. I also think it bothers you that he may just find you replaceable.

 

If I were you I would try to avoid any mention of him in your friends group. Move on.

[No1]

Lots of "ifs" you are asking and focused too much on his life than yours. Focusing on other peoples lives is just so much easier than working on our own. The pain from feeling like a failure is already there. Rather than worrying about another persons life (X or not) Why dont you worry about your own life?

Have you given thought that he may have sabatoged the relationship so that you broke up with him? After 3 yrs he knows what you like and dont like, so instead of doing what you liked he irked you on purpose so that you got so fed up with him and be forced to break up with him..thats the type of man you are worrying about.

[freadrik]

I broke up with my ex six months ago and have moved on. I recently heard, but it isn't confirmed, that she is dating someone and is happy. While it wasn't as devastating as it would have been three months ago. it did make me sad for a day or two. It's just that final nail in the coffin of a relationship, nothing more. Be happy for yourself that you made the right choice, and if you did care for him, be happy for him too. But, in the end, his feelings don't matter anymore. Forget him, and keep moving forward. Realistically, he is going to meet someone and it is out of your control and none of your concern.

 

As they say, Keep Calm and Carry On!

[Willywagtail]

Yes, it will hurt. But it will pass.

 

You'll remember the difficulties you both had, and you'll be glad someone else is experiencing them not you!